Session 401


“A Feeling of Disconnection”
“The Trickster God of Life”

Sunday, May 23 1999    © 1999 (Private/Phone)
Participants:  Mary (Michael), and one new participant, Donovan (Winston).
Margot’s note:  I found this session, and this person Donovan, just fascinating, and once again, here’s someone I really wish I knew!
Vic’s note:  I also found this session fascinating, and — lucky me — I DO know Donovan.  Hi, Donovan!  Great session!
Elias arrives at 12:33 PM. (Arrival time is 18 seconds)

ELIAS:  Good morning!

DONOVAN:  Good morning.

ELIAS:  (Chuckling)  And you have inquiries this day?

DONOVAN:  Yes, I do!

ELIAS:  Very well!  You may proceed.

DONOVAN:  Thank you.  Can I start with my essence name?

ELIAS:  You may.  Essence name, Winston.

DONOVAN:  Winston?

ELIAS:  W-I-N-S-T-O-N.

DONOVAN:  Okay.  When I was doing a meditation, I heard the name “Kalic” or “Selic” or something.  Is that just distortion, or was that something else, or.... (Pause)

ELIAS:  Kalsic.  This would be a physically focused name that you hold within another focus of essence focused within this dimension.

DONOVAN:  Okay.  I guess one of the main questions I have is, I’ve been in the last year having sort of these dialogs with a voice in my head, and I was wondering if that’s what contact with essence is, or my perception of it? (Pause)

ELIAS:  This would be correct.  Let me express to you that each individual chooses to be accessing information and their own communication with essence in different manners, and in such manners that they shall be paying attention to in the most efficient manner.

In this, you allow yourself to be listening to your inner voice in the type of manner that you interpret as a thought process or a communication in language that speaks to you and appears to be slightly different than your own voice that you are familiar with.

You may be engaging this conversation, so to speak, with essence — or in other terms, with yourself — and you may be allowing yourself in your quietness to be accessing much more information that may be helpful to you.  This may also facilitate your own understanding in certain situations, if you are allowing yourself that quietness and interaction.

DONOVAN:  Okay.  I’ve had about six really strong moments in the past year, and I was wondering about the level of accuracy or if there was any distortion or if these were an accessing of accurate information.  Can I describe some of them and see what you think about them?

ELIAS:  You may.

DONOVAN:  One that I had that was really interesting was, this voice was saying ... I was asking, “What am I, as the physical focus of Donovan?  What is that?”  I used the analogy of remembering being a little kid and pretending to be a little monster.  And it was saying, “Now, if you were a little kid and you pretended to be a little monster, where would Donovan be?”  And I said, “Well, there is no where.  I am it, but I’m focusing my attention on the character of the little monster.”  So it was saying, basically, “You’re a little monster.” (Laughing, and Elias chuckles)

But then I was saying, “What if the little monster, the character of the little monster, remembers that he’s really Donovan?  It takes away from that character.”  It’s sort of like an actor being on a stage, who then, in the middle of the final monologue, remembers that he left something on the stove.  It sort of takes away the intensity or it’s distracting from the play, and I feel like there’s something lost.  But then I was wondering if that’s sort of like the equivalent of ... if you were to be physically focused and alive and have total remembrance of who you once were, it’s almost similar to death.  But then I lost the voice, and I didn’t get to continue.  Is that stuff kind of accurate?

ELIAS:  In a manner of speaking, you are correct, and in your communication with yourself, in creating this analogy for yourself, you are also correct in one manner, in the manner that you are the player in your own play, but you are also the director of your individual play.  In this, I have expressed many times that you create this element of separation and forgetting for the express purpose within physical focus of the purity of your experience.

Now; as you move into this shift in consciousness and you widen your awareness and you begin to incorporate the remembrance, you also are creating a unique type of reality, for in this new expression of reality, in a manner of speaking, what you are allowing yourselves to be creating and experiencing is the remembrance of essence, the knowing of all of your abilities — the ability itself to be piercing through many of the veils that you have created within physical focus to be separating yourself from the remembrance of essence and from other areas of consciousness and from other dimensional areas of physical focuses.

But you also are retaining a certain element of directed attention which allows you to continue within physical focus, identifying yourself in a type of singularity, and allows you to be continuing within your experiences physically without distracting from them or lessening their intensity in many situations, but also expands your reality in allowing you to be experiencing more layers of your reality.  Are you understanding?

DONOVAN:  Yeah, I think so.  It sounds like we get to have our cake and eat it too!

ELIAS:  In a manner of speaking, you are correct, and this would be the point and why you have created this shift in consciousness, to expand your abilities within your reality and allow you new freedoms for exploration.

DONOVAN:  Kind of along the lines of that, I wonder if my perception is correct about ... I mean, ever since I was a kid, I’ve noticed a really uncomfortable feeling of not being real, and looking at people talking to me and feeling like they weren’t real. (Elias smiles)  It started getting really bad in college.  It’s gotten so bad at times that I have anxiety attacks and just feel really confused, and just a lot of emotional stress and psychological stress.

I’ve looked in psychology books, and I guess they would call it a depersonalization disorder or something like that, where you walk around and just don’t connect.  I guess what it is, is not connecting with my perception of physical focus.  I don’t really understand what it is, but it’s kind of ... it’s my biggest problem, I would say.  Can you help me understand what that is?

ELIAS:  Yes.  Now; let me first of all express to you that your science of psychology may be labeling of very many different types of experiences and expressing to individuals that these are malfunctions within you, but I express to you that your sciences of psychology do not incorporate certain elements of reality in the area of consciousness, and therefore they deviate in their understanding as to the choice of reality that different individuals are creating.

In this, let me express to you that what you are experiencing is not a dysfunction, and this would be quite a different type of expression from those expressions that are labeled within your science of psychology as a malfunction of your mental state.

Now; let me express to you, the reason that you experience anxiety, in your terms, in relation to this type of experience is that it is objectively unfamiliar to you, but it is quite in harmony with the movement and the action and energy of this shift in consciousness.  I have expressed many times previously that there shall be trauma experienced in association with this shift in consciousness.  I am not speaking figuratively, but in holding the awareness of the alterations that you are all creating within your reality in this physical dimension.  You have become very familiar with certain types of expressions, and the expressions and experiences that you are now incorporating into the entirety of your reality do not fit with the officially accepted reality that you have created to this point.  Therefore, there is much confusion associated with these experiences.

Your psychologists furiously scramble to be keeping abreast of all of the new creations that are popping up with many, many individuals, and are continuing to be inventing new descriptions and diagnoses as to all of these new conditions, so to speak, that are being introduced into your reality within your societies.  I express to you that these are not new conditions or malfunctions.  They are the incorporation of wider awarenesses that are naturally occurring in conjunction with this shift in consciousness.  They are merely unfamiliar to you within objective terms.

Now; this — what you are experiencing, that you describe as a disassociation or a lack of connection — is in actuality not either of those expressions.  It is a realization in part that you are not limited to the identification of this small framework that you have previously identified [to] yourself as singularly, as one individual, but this is creating of distress, so to speak, within you, for you do not understand what you are connecting to.

You are not disconnecting.  You are connecting MORE.  Temporarily, this may be creating of a sensation that you are disconnected from other individuals, and it may be creating of a thought process within your rationale in the direction of questioning what you are, who you are, how you are moving, how you are creating ... if you are in existence of reality or not!

It is creating of great confusion and many questions, and I am quite understanding of your expression of this feeling of disconnection with yourself and with other individuals, for this is the opening to awareness that many times may be temporarily threatening of your identification of your individuality.

In this, as you begin to objectively lose touch — figuratively speaking, in your terms — with your uniqueness and your individuality, your identity becomes threatened also.  This is an automatic response.

In this, let me be assuring to you that it IS a temporary situation.  It is merely perpetuated within your focus as you continue to focus upon it and concentrate upon it and be fearful of it and allow this experience to be agitating to you.

(Firmly)  There is NO THING that is wrong in this occurrence.  It is merely the allowance of yourself to be recognizing, in OBJECTIVE terms and reality, what you hold in knowing in subjective reality.

In this, you may express physically that you are too large to be housed in your singular form. (Smiling)  Once you allow yourself the relaxation and the knowing that this is quite natural within this shift in consciousness, you may also begin to realize that your physical form is not in actuality disconnected from your awareness and from that which you identify as yourself or essence, for they are all expressions of the same.

To this point — throughout your creation of physical reality, throughout your history — you have identified your physical bodies as a vessel, [as] some element within your physical reality that is temporary, that dies, that may be discarded, and that is merely a housing, as I have stated, for your “spiritual soul.”  I express to you quite strongly, this is incorrect!

Your physical form is quite efficient and capable of accommodating all of essence, for it is the physical manifestation and expression of the projection of essence, and it is not separate from that which you identify as you within consciousness.

Presently and for much of your focus in this time framework, you have allowed yourself to be separating what you view as your consciousness from your physical form, viewing these two elements of your reality as separate entities.  This creates this type of sensation of being disconnected.  In actuality, as I have stated to you, you are allowing yourself MORE of a connection with essence, in recognition that you ARE more than you appear to be.

But you continue to hold this underlying layer within your beliefs that this physical manifestation is somehow separated from your consciousness, and therefore you continue to be experiencing this void, so to speak, in which there appears to be a gap between yourself and your consciousness, and this is what you interpret as a disconnection.  You may be quite easily re-merging these two aspects of your reality.

Now; this is not to say that you may not continue with certain elements of a like experience, but it shall be affecting of you differently, for you shall not hold anxiety or trauma in association with this particular type of sensation, for you shall understand that you hold the ability to be manipulating your reality within this experience.  For within this experience, you are allowing more of your own expression of the fullness of essence, dropping — in a manner of speaking — some of the boundaries and barriers that you place within your reality, and therefore allowing yourself to move more freely and manipulate energy more efficiently within these time frameworks.

I express to you that within this shift in consciousness, you are attaining to MORE of this type of experience, not less.  And shall not your psychologists hold great surprise in their own experiences, moving into these areas that they now identify as a malfunction? (Chuckling)

DONOVAN:  Okay, thank you.  Do I have another focus named Malitska or Malicha? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Malita.

DONOVAN:  Can you say it again, please?

ELIAS:  Malita.

DONOVAN:  Alita?

ELIAS:  Yes.

DONOVAN:  Did she practice witchcraft?

ELIAS:  You may be expressing in these terms, if you are so choosing.  I express to you that this terminology is expressive of superstitions which are held within your belief systems.  The individual merely allows herself the ability to be manipulating energy within her focus efficiently. (Chuckling)

DONOVAN:  Okay.  I did a meditation where I think I connected with her, and I guess I’ll describe it and you can tell me how accurate I am.  Sixth century A.D., and I’m getting two countries — I think it was Yugoslavia and Bavaria — I kept hearing two words.  She was a hermit.  She lived in a shack.  She had a lot of anger.  She channels energy.  She was very much into the mother earth.  Her god was the mother earth, and she experimented with physical manipulation of her body to the elements, such as she would lay with no blankets in the winter and freeze, but not harm herself, but experience the sensation of freezing.

I’m also getting that her intent name was The Taster of Lightning, (Elias grins) and I’m seeing an image of literally that — her standing in the rain, in a thunderstorm, and actually having the lightning physically going into her mouth.  Is this accurate at all?

ELIAS:  I express to you acknowledgment that you have allowed yourself quite accurately to be accessing information and the energy of this individual.  I may express to you also that within this, you may be allowing yourself to be gathering information from this individual, recognizing the belief systems that are held within her focus, and not necessarily incorporating those belief systems, but viewing the abilities that this individual allows herself to be connecting to and experiencing, recognizing that in expanding your awareness, you may be creating of many wonders within your physical focus, and you may draw upon the energy lent by that focus to be encouraging within your focus, in being helpful to you in accessing your own abilities.

DONOVAN:  Okay.  Did she practice Wicca, or was it her own personal belief system that she developed?

ELIAS:  This would be, in a manner of speaking, similar to that cult, but not identified with it and its organization.  I express to you that she has developed her own identifications as dictated by her own individual beliefs.

DONOVAN:  And another thing that I saw was, there was this bonfire and people were chanting, and when I read a portion of the dream trigger session, I had a dream that night that displayed for me what my triggers were, and one of them was that bonfire, and I’ve seen the bonfire on several occasions.  Can you explain to me the significance of the bonfire in relation to my focus now?

ELIAS:  Let me express to you that you choose this particular type of imagery in relation to what we have been discussing within this session, as you view underlyingly within your belief systems that your physical body is — in a manner of speaking — a hindrance at times, for within your beliefs, it is the expression of a vessel.  In this, you view physical imagery of fire — and that expressed in the manner of bonfires — as being an element that may eliminate the physical aspect of your manifestation.

The reason you have created this as your trigger is to be allowing you to move through your individual portal — within dream state or meditative state — without the encumberment of the physical form, for as you move into this fire, there is a symbolic action that you create of shedding the physical form through the imagery of the fire, which releases your aspect of consciousness to be experiencing the freedom of movement into other areas of consciousness.

You view within your belief systems that you may not necessarily be accomplishing of this same action if you are continuing in holding to the physical form, but must be loosening your hold upon that aspect of your reality to be moving more freely within other aspects of your reality.  I express to you that this a belief, but it also is reality within yourself, and in this, you have created a trigger that shall efficiently allow you to move around the hindrance of your individual belief systems.

DONOVAN:  Hmm, okay.  So it’s sort of like ... I think I understand.  I view wood as very physical, and then fire as still physical but more energy-like, and then that converts to smoke, and then sort of dissipates.  So it’s sort of my perception of — I can understand, I think — my perception of lessening the physical intensity of the body physically focused, or my perception of what it would be like to relax that focus.  Do I understand that correctly?

ELIAS:  You are correct.  You are lessening the density and the solidity of the physical form through this imagery, and therefore allowing more of an expression of freedom within energy and your movement.

DONOVAN:  Is there some connection with this woman to my own mother?  Because there seems like a really strong similarity.  Is there a reason I chose in this focus to have my mother, and is there sort of a similarity or some sort of connection between her and the other woman?

ELIAS:  Yes.  You have chosen to be manifest in the relationship with the individual that you have identified as your mother for the reason that it holds a familiarity with that particular focus that you hold yourself, and in this, your mother in her manifestation has lent energy to you in agreement, to be offering a triggering of your own remembrance to be allowing yourself the objective awareness and connection with this other focus, which lends energy to you in this focus and is helpful to you in accessing more of your own abilities.

I express to you commendation in the area of your perceptiveness and awareness as to your choice of parent.  Individuals thus far within the forum of these sessions have inquired as to children’s choice of entering physical focus and choosing their parents and the role of the parents, but individuals have not inquired as to their own choice of manifesting in agreement with particular parents.  Therefore, I am acknowledging of your awareness in this area.

NOW be noticing that you DO allow yourself an openness and a widening in the area of your objective awareness, and this is quite in conjunction with this experience that you hold which creates anxiety within you.

DONOVAN:  Right.  And along those lines also, I got a ... well, I got two perceptions.  Aliska, is that her name?  The other focus?

ELIAS:  Malita.

DONOVAN:  Oh, Malita?

ELIAS:  Yes.

DONOVAN:  Okay, Malita.  I got the impression that she has a great deal of hatred towards men, and was perhaps raped or abused very badly, to the point where she cut off all sexuality for the remainder of her focus.  And a portion of her — or probabilities or something of her — is aware of me as a focus of her, and there’s some anger towards me, I was perceiving, which reminded me a lot of the way that I was raised by my mother.  And if there is a similarity there, I wonder if that’s some challenge that I’ve presented myself to deal with in being born a man in this lifetime, but feeling the guilt of the anger of women that I’m connected to, be it a focus that is my own or even a mother that I’ve chosen to have, and it’s causing me a lot of confusion with my sexuality and relating to women.  I was wondering if you could comment on that or help me with that.

ELIAS:  Yes.  Now; I express to you that you have purposefully manifest in this manner.  I also express to you that you are correct in your association with this other focus, and also once again in relation to the individual that you have chosen to be in relationship with as your mother.

Now; this presents itself in one respect, as you state, as a challenge.  But in another respect, you have offered yourself this experience as an opportunity — one, as an opportunity to view that there is no karma.  You are not repaying or creating restitution for what you view to be past experiences.  You owe no thing to any individual and you are not creating the payoff, so to speak, of debt.

In this, you lend energy to that focus of Malita in helpfulness to be comforting, and also in recognition that within what she identifies as spirituality, she also is more than she appears, and this offers her information in the direction that all that she projects outwardly to other individuals, she also projects to self, for you are an element of her and she is an element of you.

Therefore, there is within that focus a partial rejection of this energy which you lend to her, for this entails the recognition and the identification of responsibility of her individual focus, that she is not a victim but that she is creating of her reality also, and that there is in actuality no separation and all is interconnected within consciousness.

Therefore, each action and each projection of energy which is created is affecting of all of consciousness, of which she and you are a part.

This also offers you the opportunity to be accessing a remembrance of that focus, identifying with the emotional qualities of that focus and the recognition of certain elements of what you in physical terms express as bitterness.  This offers you more of an understanding, and in this understanding, you may also be creating compassion and a knowing of the experience, which may be subsequently offered in outward expression to the individual of your mother.  It may also be projected inwardly to yourself in a healing element, in allowing yourself to be accepting of self, recognizing that you have created no hurtfulness merely by manifesting in this particular focus as male gender, that these are perceptions of other individuals and they may hold certain areas of a lack of acceptance, but this is an expression from their beliefs in the area of identifying victimization.

No individual is a victim.  You all create your reality equally with no exception, and in this, each of you chooses the experiences that you shall engage, and in those experiences, it is merely your beliefs that identify them as bad and wrong, and it is your own lack of acceptance of self that creates hurtfulness, not a projection of another individual.  Therefore, in this you offer yourself the opportunity to be allowing yourself acceptance within yourself, the elimination of the identification of guilt, the elimination of the underlying identification of karma, and the freedom to be accepting of other individuals, recognizing that regardless of their expression, this is not necessarily a reflection upon you as the individual that you have chosen to be.  Are you understanding?

DONOVAN:  I think I am.  And along the same lines of sexuality and stuff like that, I had a dream, a really jarring dream, a few months ago, where I was walking with somebody who was similar to me, but was another individual.  We both had this sort of dark, scary kind of make-up on, sort of androgynous, I guess, in sort of a scary way, and we were walking, and I pulled down my pants and I had this black blood covering my genitalia, and the guy like sort of gave a sinister laugh.  We walked into this house, and there was two old ladies who were also sort of like twins, and apparently the police were coming or something, and I don’t really understand this, but apparently we had raped these two small cats.  I looked in the mirror and I looked at myself, and I felt sleazy and weird-looking and I had all this make-up on my face.  Then the police came, and I climbed out a window — which I think is maybe one of my dream triggers — and I hopped over a fence, and at that point, my dream became less like a dream and more like what I guess I would call a daydream, where I was sort of conscious of choices that I had within the dream.  Can you help me interpret the symbolism in this dream?

ELIAS:  Very well.  This particular dream imagery moves in conjunction with this wave which is occurring presently in consciousness which addresses to the belief system of sexuality.

In this, what you are offering to yourself is the viewing, one of duplicity, one of unfamiliarity in relation to different orientations and the judgments that accompany this unfamiliarity in association with orientations, and the aspect of physical unacceptability in action and in form.  You also present yourself with the aspect that is involving the acceptability or unacceptability of behavior in relation to what you term to be sexual activity.  This offers you the opportunity to identify many different areas associated with this belief system of sexuality that you hold great judgment within, and in this identification of these different aspects, you allow yourself the noticing of your own fearfulness of the unfamiliar in these areas, which is also creating of very strong judgments.

In this, there is an expression that you have created within your dream imagery of camouflage.  Therefore, it is more difficult to be identifying that you are participating within all of this dream imagery, for much of this dream imagery within your beliefs is quite unacceptable.  It addresses to many areas of this belief system.

It also addresses to the area of victimization — the victim and the perpetrator.  You view yourself as the perpetrator, which of course is very bad.  I express to you that in this imagery, you also offer yourself the opportunity to view that these are merely experiences and choices.  You create this imagery within your dream state as it provides you with a safe environment to be experiencing all of these identifications of aspects of belief systems that hold much fearfulness and uncomfortableness for you within objective waking state, therefore allowing yourself a beginning movement into addressing to these aspects of this belief system and lessening the intensity of them within your objective waking state.

There is much involvement within this present wave in consciousness addressing to this very large belief system, and it is very affecting of individuals within this present time framework, being manifest in responsiveness in many different manners, dream imagery being one of these expressions, but not the most affecting expression.

In this, I say to you that you presently within your awareness are allowing yourself movement and opportunities in many different directions, addressing to your reality in many different manners all simultaneously within this now, and in that expression, I offer to you an expression of energy from myself which may be helpful to you in your accomplishment, for the base line of all of this activity that you engage presently is to be allowing yourself a greater acceptance of self.

You hold a partial trust in self and in your abilities, but this imagery that you present yourself with presently offers you a movement more into the area of acceptance, in knowing that you are merely creating your reality for the purpose of experience and exploration, not in the expression of right and wrong.  These are the influences of your belief systems.  Are you understanding?

DONOVAN:  Yes, I think so.  I read, I think, in the sexuality session that you had said that as far as the spiritual intent of sexuality in this physical dimension, that there tends to be three categories: homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality.  Is that correct?

ELIAS:  No.

DONOVAN:  No?

ELIAS:  Let me offer to you a re-definition.

DONOVAN:  Okay.

ELIAS:  Be understanding that I offer information to individuals within physical focus in increments, and that which is expressed is that element of information that may be allowed within a certain time framework.

Now; in recognition of this present wave within consciousness and its affectingness, I have offered within recent previous sessions — which you may be inquiring of Michael with regard to — as to the definition of orientations.

There are three orientations of sexuality within this physical dimension, but I express to you that your identification of heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual are all OBJECTIVE choices in preference.  They are NOT orientations.  Orientation is a quite different expression, and involves all of your perception and how you are creating your reality within this dimension.

In this, your orientation, in like manner to your gender, is a subjective choice which is created BEFORE your manifestation into physical focus.  You choose which gender you shall be engaging within each manifestation into physical focus, and you also choose which orientation you shall be participating within.  In this, it is not an objective choice that you create AFTER you have manifest within physical focus.

Your choice of partners, your choice of sexual interaction in physical terms, your choice of which gender you shall engage physical intercourse with is purely objective and is purely motivated by PREFERENCE, not necessarily by orientation.  Are you understanding?

DONOVAN:  Uh, no! (Laughing, and Elias chuckles)  Can you go more into what orientation means then?  Because I guess I don’t understand what orientation means at all!

ELIAS:  This, as I have stated, has been offered in detailed explanation of definition within recent sessions, which you may be accessing.

I shall express to you within this now merely that these are three distinct expressions of perception within this physical dimension.  They are the expression of how you identify yourself, how you view yourself, how you view your world, how you interact with yourself, how you interact with your world, and how you are creating your reality within the individual focus.  It is all-encompassing of your focus, for it IS your reality and may not be separated from it.  All of your responsiveness and your creating within physical focus is directly influenced by your choice of orientation.

I have identified each of these orientations within recent sessions, which I have stated you may be accessing of, and I have offered new terminology to be identifying of each of these orientations, as you within physical focus do not hold terms or words to be identifying of these three orientations.

I shall express to you also that these are NOT the expression of gender, and I have explicitly explained to individuals not to be confusing your choice and creation of two genders to be synonymous with or interchangeable with the three choices of orientation.  They are very different expressions and hold quite different functions within physical focus, in like manner to your outer senses, which all move in harmony with each other but perform specific, distinct, individual functions of their own, and may not be interchanged with each other.

In this, if you are so choosing, you may be inquiring of Michael subsequent to our disengagement of this session, and he shall be informing you of those sessions which you may access to be offering yourself the information in conjunction with these orientations and with the explanations of their reality and their affectingnesses.

I shall offer to you in this — as you shall be accessing that information — in anticipation of your next question subsequent to your acquiring that information, you hold the orientation of common, which you shall understand once you have accessed this information.

I shall also offer to you essence family and alignment within this focus of Sumafi/Tumold, and I shall allow you one more question, and I shall be disengaging this day.

DONOVAN:  Okay, my final question would be about a dialog I had during a landscape exercise, where my landscape ... I started seeing trees and things and nature, and I became very upset and started ripping and tearing at the fabric of that nature, and it became a sound stage for a film set — basically, it was fake scenery — and it was very chaotic and ripped apart and torn apart, and I was set down, and there was a lot of antagonistic imagery coming through.  I’ve been having this problem a lot when I have contact with essence.

I mean, I know sometimes you talk about certain tugs and to follow your tugs or instincts, but some of them really feel like they’re more taunting or teasing me, and some of the words ... this particular time, what my essence or whatever was saying to me was sort of malicious and mocking me, and I got really upset and asked it to stop and speak clearly to me.

I guess what was said to me was that my god is the trickster god of life, and that I perceive that basically life fucks with you, and therefore that’s the reality I create, and that this belief system sort of affects and maybe distorts some of the dialogs I have with my essence.  Could you comment on that or help me with that, please?

ELIAS:  Very good!  You have allowed yourself an accurate identification and interpretation of your communication.

What you have offered to yourself in this imagery is the mirror image of what you are experiencing within you.

You are, in a manner of speaking, tormenting yourself in moving from one expression to another expression, creating your reality but doubting the realism of your reality.  Therefore, you are quite accurately creating — and literally creating — imagery to mirror what you are experiencing within your physical focus.

You have identified the rationale as being the more trustworthy element of self, the more realistic element of self.

In this, you are correct in your communication with self, that it has become your god as a trickster, for the rationale may be quite tricky and may be quite distorting of your information, and may be also introducing into your experience conflict and confusion, for not all of your reality fits within the rational observations or explanations of reality.

In this, I express to you that you have become quite efficient in accurately expressing to yourself the identification of your own experiences and allowing yourself the identification of those experiences and the noticing of the belief systems that are associated with each of these experiences.

I express to you, view the interaction that you hold in these time frameworks not as threatening, but as offering you merely information that you have requested, and offering the information to you in a manner that shall attain your attention, for were you not presenting yourself this imagery and information within the dramatics that you do present it to yourself, you would not be listening quite so carefully and you would not be attentive to it in the manner that you are presently.  Therefore, do not view this as threatening or as hurtful, but as an answer to your own questioning and an opportunity for your movement.

This moves us once again back to the point of self acceptance, and as you begin to allow yourself to be more accepting of self and not quite so very intensely judgmental of self, you may also be lessening the intensity and drama of your own communications, and you shall quite definitely be lessening your own conflict and anxiety, which you also create as an expression to gain your attention in the area of your own acceptance of self and how you are not allowing yourself that acceptance.

I shall be, as I have stated, lending energy to you in encouragement in your movement in this area, and I shall express to you the challenge to be noticing and holding what you would term to be a temporary record, so to speak, of how very often you are creating your own uncomfortable judgments upon self, which is the reinforcement of lack of acceptance of self, and how very often you are accepting of other individuals’ expressions — which you draw to yourself — in their lack of acceptance of any expression that you may be engaging.

In this, as you continue to be engaging this exercise and notic[ing], I shall be offering you energy in encouragement, for each time you are noticing, you may also be expressing to yourself that you are merely aligning with duplicity, and that this is not truth.

I offer to you much lovingness, Winston, and much encouragement, and I shall be anticipating our next meeting.  To you this day, I extend a very affectionate adieu.

DONOVAN:  Thank you very much.

Elias departs at 1:52 PM.