Session 1047


"Merely Know That You Do Incorporate Choice"
"The Communication of the Emotion of Longing"
"The 'Why' In Wanting To Continue a Challenging Relationship"

Sunday, March 31, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille)
Elias arrives at 3:25 PM. (Arrival time is 27 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good day!

LETTY: Good day to you too, Elias! (Elias chuckles) How are we doing this Easter Sunday?

ELIAS: As always, and yourself?

LETTY: Well, I've been enjoying myself this weekend, and I've been with myself this weekend. I created a week of being alone, and though I realize how I'm sometimes not paying attention to myself even though I'm alone, I have worked on myself to the point that I wrote all these questions for you and they're all related.

ELIAS: Ah!

LETTY: Within validation, I was hoping you could give me some advice on how to be gentler on myself. I think that's the point I've been understanding myself over the last few weeks.

But first I wanted to ask you about my hands. I changed my creation of ... I still get, every once in a while, a restriction of my breath, but not as bad as before, and it's less. Then I went into all my joints of my body and my knees and everything, and I recognized how I'm doing that. Again I believe it's all about paying attention to myself, because when it is physical to me, I do. I seem to be doing that better than with my restriction of breath. I fight it less, and then it went away. So I'm obviously paying attention to myself.

Except for my hands, especially in the middle of the night with certain dreams. Is this all related also, that even within my dream state to be paying attention? Because I wake up and they're sore.

ELIAS: Yes. I am understanding that you create a distinction between your dream state and your waking state, but as I have expressed previously, the objective and the subjective move in harmony with each other; therefore, it is all interrelated.

LETTY: But the fact that I make a distinction in my dream state, I just feel sometimes - I don't want to say the word "powerless" - but it is more difficult for me to feel that I can control my expression physically in my dream state.

ELIAS: Quite.

LETTY: Because of the belief system?

ELIAS: Yes, and therefore you generate an expression of restriction objectively in reflection of this.

LETTY: So, the last few weeks since our last session, I've been experiencing a lot of energy movement. I've been practicing. It seems to become an ease to manipulate physical energy with my hot flashes and even with my aches and pains, where I can actually feel the energy moving within my body. I recognize that's part of the "how" that we've been discussing over the last few sessions, in how I create.

One of the things that I was going to ask you, back a couple of sessions ago when we discussed how I created that very high fever and then I was also able to manipulate to feel better, one of the things that Cindel has been trying to teach me of the how of changing perception, I thought about it a little bit and I thought, well, I had to change my perception when I was dealing with the reason that I had gotten sick, I think, to pay attention to myself. Because I was about to encounter what I considered a conflict with a person, but yet I actually did have to change my perception to be able to ease myself and not cause conflict with that person.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: It's that part where I know how I did it and the fact that I did change my perception, but in the moment of changing of perception I don't know how I do it. Do you have any words of wisdom on that one?

ELIAS: This is actually what we have been discussing in the process, and the process that we have discussed is to be paying attention in the now but being aware objectively of all that you are generating: your communication, your translations of thought, and your actions of doing.

In allowing yourself to be paying attention to all of these actions that you are generating in the moment, you offer yourself the opportunity of choice. For once you are allowing yourself to freely move your attention to different expressions, but you are not focusing your attention upon merely one but recognizing a noticing [of] all of the expressions that are occurring that you are generating, you offer yourself an objective understanding of WHAT you are creating; and in recognizing what you are creating in relation to all of these different expressions, you thusly allow yourself the recognition that you incorporate choice.

And this in itself, in actuality, is enough. For, recognizing that you incorporate choice in that moment allows you a free flow of energy, in which it is not always necessary to generate a thought process concerning WHAT choice you may incorporate, for it matters not. Merely that you know that you do incorporate choice is the significant realization.

LETTY: That's why I have been overwhelmed, because I've been trying to objectively view each choice, and then I get overwhelmed with it.

ELIAS: For you are viewing choices as being some type of entity that stands before you. In a manner of speaking, you view probabilities almost as solid manifestations, and you view choice as the action of picking one of the probabilities that all stand before you. This is a quite commonly expressed perception which is influenced by your beliefs and how you associate with those beliefs.

Now; this is also the reason that I continue to express to you all, probabilities are created in the moment and choice is generated in the moment. This is the significance of paying attention or holding your attention in the now. But what is familiar is to be projecting your attention outwardly and creating an association that choice is an action that you shall be generating in the future. Even if your association of the future is merely a few minutes, it is not what you are generating NOW, it is what you SHALL BE generating - a choice - and the choice shall involve many probabilities which are already manifest and placed before you.

Figuratively speaking, the association that you generate is so very real in conjunction with physical manifestations that you may visualize probabilities as actual objects standing in front of you, that you are expressing to yourself, "I shall be choosing one of these objects." And the reason that you generate confusion in association with choice and manifestations is that you continue to attempt to present to yourself the solidity of choices, that you may view them before choosing.

But you are already choosing in each moment, and this is the concept that becomes confusing.

LETTY: Is this why I'm confused with what I've been creating with Leezar?

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: I do feel the moments, sometimes, of that allowance of energy; but then there are the moments of doubting my ability, because I keep wanting to look at it in the future instead of in the now.

ELIAS: Yes.

Now; let me express to you, Castille, an inquiry. What actions have you generated this day?

LETTY: Actions - actually, allowance of enjoying a movie.

ELIAS: Very well. You have generated the action of engaging your attention in watching a movie.

LETTY: And exercising, too. I exercised.

ELIAS: Very well. You have engaged exercise.

Now; in these two examples of actions that you have incorporated, what is the experience that you have generated?

LETTY: Well, actually, peace, in a way.

ELIAS: Have you generated an experience of pleasure?

LETTY: Yes. Enjoyment.

ELIAS: And have you generated an experience of contentment with yourself?

LETTY: Yes, very much.

ELIAS: Very well.

Now; incorporate this as an example to yourself. You allow yourself a time framework in which you are holding your attention in the now, without thinking; but you are holding your attention within the now. You are allowing a free expression of yourself to generate what you want in the moment, and you generate an expression or an emotional communication of satisfaction within yourself concerning your choice to be allowing yourself a free expression of what you want in the moment in your exercise and in your watching of a movie.

Now; in relation to Leezar, whether it be in physical proximity or not, where is THAT attention of you?

LETTY: On him.

ELIAS: Where has the attention that you generated this day with yourself gone?

LETTY: To me.

ELIAS: No. What I am expressing to you is that you allow yourself to view what is occurring. You recognize this day that you have generated satisfaction and pleasure, comfort, and a sense of peacefulness within yourself, for you have allowed yourself to be holding your attention in the now and allowing yourself a free expression of yourself in what you want. What happens to that expression in the moments that you engage Leezar?

LETTY: Conflict, doubt...

ELIAS: That expression disappears! Where does it disappear to?

LETTY: Away from myself.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: So that's what I've been experiencing all week, which has been very disturbing. It kind of reminded me of what Marta talks to you about Sunday afternoons, and Cindel and I talked about where we feel not whole, like there's a piece of us missing.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

LETTY: It's an anxiety that's very uncomfortable, and it feels like I am looking for a part of me outside instead of looking, knowing... I guess it's a realization that it IS in me but that I'm not looking at it.

ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, you are attempting to seek it out in some expression or manifestation outside of yourself, for you do not recognize its existence as you. And...

LETTY: I've had these many, many, many, many dreams, and I think a lot of it has to do with telling myself that I continue to pay attention to outside to fill me or make me feel whole, as I want to call it, that way.

ELIAS: Yes. But allow yourself in this now, in the example that we have been discussing, to recognize that in the moments this day that you have allowed your freedom of choice and expression in what you want, that experience of longing, that expression of longing, was not present.

LETTY: Was not what?

ELIAS: Present.

LETTY: Present. No, it was not.

ELIAS: This is a key point. This is what you are seeking in every expression of yourself within your physical manifestation. But there are some expressions within your beliefs that you associate that there is a NECESSITY of participation of another individual. This is an influence of your beliefs. It is not a truth.

LETTY: Is this something that I've been trying to tell myself? I sit here in my house that I enjoy very much, but there are moments where I tell myself or ask myself why I'm not creating a partnership. Of course, Leezar continues to be one of my choices, recognizing that I have many choices. But yet I continue to manifest living alone.

ELIAS: Yes.

Now; the key in this situation is to be examining what you have created and what motivates your expressions now and what you are expressing to yourself in an emotional communication.

Let us, in this moment, examine this situation further, for this situation that you engage now is one that you have continued to generate repeatedly for an extended time framework, and in this, you have been consistently moving in a direction of offering yourself more and more information, to be allowing yourself a clearer objective understanding of what you are generating and therefore answer your question of "why," for I am aware that you continue to incorporate this question of why.

Now; first of all let me express to you, I may say to you that all that you want within your physical manifestation may be generated within yourself, which is accurate and is quite real. I may also acknowledge to you an awareness that you all within your physical dimension in some capacity express an emotional communication to yourselves, at times, of longing.

Now; this longing, the feeling of the longing, is the signal. The communication that you are offering to yourself in that longing is a recognition that your beliefs generate a separation but that you incorporate a knowing within you that there IS no separation. Therefore, what you are communicating in this expression of longing is that you are generating a withholding of your own energy and not allowing yourself a genuine freedom to be expressing yourself in a lack of separation in relation to other individuals. You incorporate rules and conditions and expectations that you express associations with, that deny your choice of freedom in your expressions; therefore, you limit, and this is what generates the signal or the feeling of longing in relation to interaction or relationship with other individuals.

I express to you that all individuals within your physical dimension experience this communication and this signal or feeling of longing. Some translate that into other types of relationships. It may not necessarily be expressed with some individuals as a longing for a relationship with another individual, but it matters not. Each individual may generate their own association with this longing. Some individuals long for a relationship with God or with Spirit or with another individual or with a creature. It matters not how it is objectively translated; the communication is the same and the underlying knowing which influences the communication is the same - the underlying knowing of the lack of separation is the same. The beliefs that are being expressed in denial of the individual's choice to be freely expressing themselves are the same. Therefore regardless of how you translate it, the longing is concerning relationship.

Now; yes, you may generate all that you want within yourself, but you are also consciousness; you are also essence. You also innately incorporate a movement of energy of interconnectedness, and you want to be objectively expressing that outwardly in physical manifestation.

Now; this is significant, for you have generated experiences objectively physically with Leezar in a relationship - and I may express to you, as an aside, you may be suggesting to Michael this day that he may be listening to this information also, for there are many expressions that you and Michael are generating quite similarly in this subject matter.

Now; you have generated some experiences in relationship with Leezar that you deem to be satisfying and pleasurable. You have also generated some experiences with Leezar in relationship that you deem to be NOT pleasurable, conflicting, uncomfortable and challenging. You recognize some moments in which you allow yourself to be paying attention to yourself and holding your attention within the now in interaction with Leezar. You recognize MORE moments in which you are projecting your attention to Leezar and NOT holding your attention within the now.

Now; in the overall picture, so to speak, of your relationship with Leezar, in genuineness, Castille, what is your assessment proportionately?

LETTY: That my belief systems influence me in wanting to be with him.

ELIAS: No, this is not what I am inquiring. Proportionately, in overall viewing of your relationship with Leezar, how much of your expression is satisfying and how much is not, genuinely?

LETTY: Fifty-fifty?

ELIAS: No.

LETTY: Less than 50?

ELIAS: Yes. (Pause)

Now; even in the expression of half-and-half, do you not question - and I am aware that you do - why you continue to focus your attention upon this one individual? This is a rhetorical question, for I have already answered for you, that I know you do.

Now; I am aware that you do question this quite frequently, why you continue to be desirous of this one individual and why you are not moving your attention in a different direction and therefore allowing yourself to generate another relationship - which is what you want, but you do not generate that.

Now; I shall offer to you the "why." You offered yourself an example with this individual to generate a tremendous movement within yourself to allow yourself new choices in freedom. You associate that freedom with the experiences that triggered your allowance; therefore, you associate them with this individual rather than with yourself. You focus your attention in past recall of experiences that you generated in which you allowed yourself a genuine freedom in your expression of your choices and of what you wanted in certain moments.

(Slowly and gently) That expression of freedom that you offered to yourself was extremely impactful in your objective awareness, and this has generated a craving to be allowing yourself to generate this type of freedom in all of your expressions. But as you all generate an association of past experiences in absolutes, you have solidified an association of your allowance of yourself to generate this freedom with the personage of that individual, and therefore your association of your allowance of yourself to generate this type of freedom once again automatically moves once again to that individual.

That individual allowed you nothing; that individual afforded you nothing. YOU, Castille, allowed yourself a freedom. YOU chose to express yourself in what you want, but you are suspicious of yourself and your ability to be creating that type of freedom within your choices and to be outwardly expressing that freedom in relation to other individuals, for you view that you failed with this one.

LETTY: Is that why I feel the challenge...

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: ...to go back with him?

ELIAS: Yes, and this tremendous longing and this tremendous continuation of pull of energy within you, for you recognize that you DID allow yourself some new recognition of freedom. You recognize your satisfaction and your accomplishment of that freedom, but you attach it to the other individual. And as you turn your attention to yourself, you create the hesitation, the "but I did not accomplish, for I failed in continuing the relationship."

You did not fail. You chose not to be continuing in that particular relationship, for the interaction between yourself and this other individual was not being created in what you wanted, and the expression of energy of the other individual that you were receiving was recognized within you, that this is not the expression of energy that you wish to continue to be interactive with. You presented it to yourself purposefully, temporarily, to offer yourself information, to offer yourself an opportunity to objectively translate and recognize what you DO want.

You draw to yourselves throughout your focuses many different expressions of energy with many different individuals, and you do this purposefully. You generate many different types of relationships with many different types of expressions of energy. You do not necessarily draw to yourself expressions of energy of other individuals to generate an ongoing relationship with that one individual, even if that individual may be recognized as what you term to be a soul mate.

In any particular time framework you shall draw to yourself expressions of energy of other individuals to offer you an opportunity to examine and address to specific movements that you generate and specific beliefs that you hold that limit your choices, to offer yourself objective information to familiarize yourself more with yourself and therefore offer yourself the opportunity to generate an actual free expression of your choices in what you actually want.

Now; at times, you do allow yourself to generate these types of freedoms in relation to a relationship with another individual, and when you allow yourself to generate that, as I have stated you associate it with the other individual, which generates within you a much stronger pull to that particular individual for your attention moves outside of yourself, and in your terms, in your language, you credit the accomplishment to the other individual, not to yourself. You credit your freedom to the other individual and generate an association within yourself that the other individual has afforded that to you, and this generates the ongoing, continuous, repeated draw and force of energy that pulls you to that specific individual.

LETTY: I've been telling myself, like understanding why, that it's because when I say that I want to have the challenge to be paying attention in the physical presence of Leezar, it's because I'm looking for that freedom.

ELIAS: Yes, but you are seeking the opportunity to express this freedom of yourself in EVERY expression of yourself, and it is not in relation to this one individual.

LETTY: And that's why I have not been able to produce another relationship.

ELIAS: Correct. You shall generate another relationship with another individual in the time framework that you allow yourself to express freely what you expressed in moments in your relationship with Leezar, but merely with yourself.

As you allow yourself to generate that freedom of your expression of what you want, you shall also know that this freedom is not dependent upon the expression or the allowance of another individual, and thusly you shall create another individual and relationship in the expression of that freedom.

LETTY: So my first step is to get down to not doubting my abilities of that freedom...

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: ...and accept myself.

ELIAS: And to discontinue challenging yourself in attempting to be creating a BETTER relationship with this particular individual.

LETTY: (Laughs) Yes. Now I understand why I had, within my wanting to go back to him and my forcing to go back to him, there were moments where I felt the doubt that that's where I really wanted to go.

ELIAS: Correct. You are seeking out this particular individual for the creation of relationship in association with generating an approval from that individual. But what you are actually seeking is your own approval of yourself.

LETTY: That's a bigger challenge!

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Now you may discontinue with this question of why, why, why, why, why. For I may quite playfully express to you, Castille, that I hold an awareness that you have generated this question many, many, many, many times to myself as you entertain these thought processes alone with yourself, and this becomes quite redundant. Therefore, in compliance with your continuous questioning, I have now offered you the explanation of why, and you may discontinue your projection of this question to myself now. Ha ha ha!

LETTY: Thank you. (Elias chuckles) So why do I feel so emotional?

ELIAS: Examine this emotion. I am understanding, and I shall express to you, I shall anticipate Michael shall incorporate a very similar expression.

Now; identify. What emotion are you expressing to yourself? What is the signal?

LETTY: Well, it's almost a relief. It's a little bit of a fear because I'm putting it back to myself and... It's almost gratitude, too.

ELIAS: I am quite understanding, and you are correct in all three of your interpretations. You are expressing all of these signals.

Now; what is the communication? What is the communication of the relief?

LETTY: That I can look at myself. The relief gives me more self-worth...

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: ...and that it's about me and that I can do it instead of using somebody else as the excuse.

ELIAS: And what is the fear?

LETTY: Well, the fear has always been that sometimes my belief systems take over me. A little bit of the doubt of my abilities is - which was one of my questions - is that I know, I recognize in talking to you, how you've told me before that I ignore the smaller or the quieter expressions. I have large expectations of myself so I need to be gentler with myself about that.

ELIAS: Correct, and acknowledge yourself. And what is the communication of the gratitude?

LETTY: I am wondrous.

ELIAS: And your acknowledgment of yourself - and this is the gentleness. (Pause)

LETTY: Well, Elias, thank you for your energy.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my dear friend.

(Gently) Acknowledge yourself, Castille. You genuinely do incorporate the ability to allow yourself this freedom and to generate what you want in an energy exchange with another individual in relationship, and it is not necessary to attach the image of your freedom to the image of Leezar's form. (Pause) In a manner of speaking, it is belonging to you.

LETTY: Yes. I do believe that.

ELIAS: Therefore, turn your attention to you and allow your own expression of your power of energy in your freedom.

LETTY: Now I understand why I've been practicing so much the physical energy. It was an imagery to myself of my own power.

ELIAS: Correct; even within your sleep state.

LETTY: I think my sleep state will be altering itself. (Elias laughs) Oh, I love you so much, Elias! (Elias chuckles) And I love me for attracting me to you.

ELIAS: And I am acknowledging of that statement. (Chuckles) And I, as always, Castille, express my tremendous affection to you also. I shall be continuing to express my energy in encouragement with you.

LETTY: Thank you.

ELIAS: Until our next meeting, my friend, au revoir.

LETTY: Au revoir, dear friend.

Elias departs at 4:28 PM.