Session 303


“Hurtfulness Within Relationships”

Saturday, August 1, 1998   © 1998 (Private)
Participants:  Mary (Michael) and Rodney (Zacharie).
Elias arrives at 10:22 AM. (Arrival time is 23 seconds)  

ELIAS:  Good morning!  (Smiling)

RODNEY:  Good morning to you!  (Laughing)  I’m a little bit nervous!

ELIAS:  Welcome once again!

RODNEY:  Do you have anything you’d like to say, or would you like me to ask questions?

ELIAS:  You may present your inquiries if you are choosing.

RODNEY:  Okay.  I have quite a long list, (Elias chuckles) so I need to choose.  I think one of the larger issues which is not so personal is from a reading of your session 185 in Elmira.  You were speaking of what’s going to happen in this shift in consciousness and you made the statement that, “Within the action of your shift, you have chosen to alter these probabilities within a recognition that all that you hold to be negative within destruction within your belief systems is unnecessary.”  That statement has really caught my attention.  I’m aware that a great deal of my thinking, and it appears to me to be the thinking of people that I’m in contact with, is that a common thought is that you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.  You can’t accomplish something beautiful without doing something ugly.  You can’t take good care of your family without going out and being a bastard in the world of business.  (Elias chuckles)  Is this what you’re talking about in this sentence?

ELIAS:  What you are referring to is in the mass belief system of cause and effect.

Now; let me express to you that in actuality there is no cause and effect.  This is a belief system that you have created en masse upon your planet and you hold to very tightly.  Therefore, you also create this in your reality.  In actuality there is no cause and effect, and it is unnecessary to be creating of one action to be accomplishing another action.

Example:  You may step into your road — I have offered this example previously, but it serves its purpose well — and in stepping into your road, you may be engaged in an action with a carriage and it may strike you.
 
In this, your belief system is that if you are struck by the carriage, you shall be injured and you shall create physical displays of these injuries.  You may be creating of breakage of bones, bruises upon your skin.  You may even create more serious injuries within your physical form.  This is cause and effect.  But what I express to you [is], in actuality it is also quite possible to be standing within your road and to be struck by a carriage and sustain no physical injuries, for it is your choice in your alignment with the mass belief systems to be creating this or to not be creating this, and there are physical examples throughout your planet of this type of action occurring, where an individual may be struck in what you term to be an accident — which there are no accidents — and sustain no physical injury.

Now; onlookers shall express, “Oh!  This is a miracle!”  For within your belief systems, a miracle is an action which you perceive to be impossible, but it is obviously possible or there would be no creation of the action.  If it were not possible within your reality to be creating of this type of situation and not sustain physical injuries, it would not occur ... but it does occur!  Individuals holding what you think of as terminal illnesses instantaneously cure themselves, or are healed in the view of other individuals by some “special power.”  In reality, they have healed themselves.  They have returned their form to its natural state within this physical manifestation, and they have NOT created what you term to be a miracle.  They have merely uncreated a situation that they have chosen to be creating initially.

You hold the ability within physical focus to accomplish much more than you believe you may accomplish.  This be the reason that I express much attention to belief systems and am directing of individuals to be noticing and attending to these belief systems, for you hold belief systems in every area of your physical focus, and some ... MANY of these belief systems are very limiting.  Within consciousness collectively within this dimension, there is a recognition that these belief systems ARE very limiting and that it is unnecessary to be continuing in the participation of many of these belief systems.

RODNEY:  Could I ask you to direct your attention to a specific belief then?  I have a belief, which is borne out in my daydreams, that if I become engaged in a relationship with a woman, an intimate relationship, that dire consequences will befall either her or myself.  This is a belief.  It’s tied in with my beliefs about money, about my self worth, about my desire to have enough space for myself; to be not totally controlled.  I recognize that I have these beliefs because I cannot daydream about having an affair with a woman without the daydream not ending with some terrible thing befalling either her or myself or both of us.  (Elias smiles and nods)
 
So, if I understand you correctly, I now know that I have these beliefs, and if I understand you correctly, the way for me to neutralize these beliefs is to accept that I hold these beliefs; that I accept myself and I accept the beliefs that I hold.

ELIAS:  Correct.

RODNEY:  What’s the next step?  Is the next step simply suggesting to myself that I hold a more nurturing belief, that I hold a belief that I can have a relationship that lasts forever or that at least lasts for a period of time and will be mutually beneficial to us both?  Is that enough for me to do?  It’s like, where do I go from here?

ELIAS:  Let me express to you that you have offered yourself, in your terms, your first step.  That is the recognition that there is a belief held.  Do you not find this curious and interesting that we have moved into the area of discussion recently of relationships?

RODNEY:  Yes!

ELIAS:  And this you may now view:  you also are participating in this wave in consciousness that addresses to this very belief system.  And if you are recalling of our discussions in this area, you shall be recalling that I have offered the analogy of the bird cage and all of the aspects of this one belief system.

RODNEY:  And being hurt was one of the birds.

ELIAS:  Each element that you have set forth in your description of your anticipation of what MAY — or may not — occur in the engagement of a personal relationship with another individual are all examples of these birds.  They are all aspects of the belief system of relationships.  I have chosen to be addressing to this wave — in individuals identifying and pulling to the surface, so to speak, this particular belief system — for it holds so very many aspects.  Many, many birds are within this particular cage, in areas that individuals do not even allow themselves to view.

As you have stated, you address to yourself the possibility of financial concerns, of your own individual space, of hurtfulness, of lack of understanding, lack of compatibility.  Very many different elements enter into this encompassing subject of belief in relationships in all areas, but within romantic relationships this becomes even more pronounced, for individuals do not wish to be allowing themselves to be what you term to be vulnerable.

Now; let me express to you that vulnerability, although you view this word in a negative connotation, is merely an opening; an allowance to be open.

RODNEY:  I know.

ELIAS:  Now; be remembering also the example in exercise, which has been offered at our most recent session, of the allowance, the penetration, and the buffer; your energy field which surrounds you.

RODNEY:  I remember that discussion.

ELIAS:  In this example, I have offered to you a situation that you may engage and that you may hold within your objective thought process that may offer you temporarily the feeling of security within yourself.

Now; let me explain.  These belief systems are so very strong, and held en masse, which adds to their strength.  In these very strong belief systems within physical focus, you view yourselves to not hold the ability very efficiently to be battling, so to speak, these very strongly held belief systems.  In my expression to you, I suggest clearly to you that these are more aspects of the belief systems themselves that you do not hold the ability to be battling.

RODNEY:  That’s part of the belief.

ELIAS:  Correct.  This is the belief of duplicity, which intertwines itself with ALL of your belief systems.  There are no belief systems that do not intertwine with the immense belief system of duplicity.  Now; also in this, I suggest to you that there is no battle to be waged!

RODNEY:  (Laughing)  Okay!

ELIAS:  The recognition or the noticing of the belief system is the initial movement into acceptance.  Once you have accomplished identifying to yourself the belief system and you begin to view the aspects of the belief system, as I have stated previously, you may begin to inquire of yourself “why and what” in relation to these aspects of the belief system.  Look to yourself and identify that you do hold duplicity within self within physical focus.  Recognize the tremendous affectingness of this duplicity.  This shall be helpful to you, for in this you may also wage your battle ... although the battle is in actuality unnecessary!

But not discounting the strength of your belief systems, I am also recognizing that regardless that you may not necessarily need be waging a battle within your belief systems, this becomes necessary, for you do not view any other “method” for your accomplishment.  As I have stated many times, methods are unnecessary, but within your physical focus you believe that methods are necessary and you believe that there are processes to all of your accomplishments.
 
RODNEY:  What I hear you saying is that the discovery — within my own focus — of duplicity within myself in association with these beliefs is the crucial issue.

ELIAS:  Quite.

RODNEY:  The word duplicity suggests to me a lying to oneself or a kidding of oneself, as well as if there’s going to be heat, there must be cold someplace, or if there’s an up, there must be a down.

ELIAS:  Quite.

RODNEY:  You’re using duplicity in that sense.

ELIAS:  Quite.

RODNEY:  The coin must have two sides.  (Pause)  So I should meditate ... and I shouldn’t use the word “should!”  (They both laugh)  If I meditate, if I discover for myself my true feelings about this duplicitous nature of, say, the aspect of hurtfulness....

ELIAS:  Quite!  Let us focus upon this aspect itself specifically.

RODNEY:  My sense is that I should always be in this discovery process.

ELIAS:  You ARE always within this discovery....

RODNEY:  And consciously affecting this, to be accepting of all of my movements in this.

ELIAS:  Quite.  Now; let us view the aspect of hurtfulness within a relationship and where this aspect of the belief stems from.  The belief that there is hurtfulness within a relationship is not created by the projection of another individual.  It is created by your alignment with this belief system of duplicity, for it matters not what another individual may project outwardly to you.  What matters, in a manner of speaking, within physical focus is your view of yourself and your hold within that.

RODNEY:   My hold?

ELIAS:  Yes.  Let us express our example of the allowance, the penetration, and the buffer once again.  I may be projecting any type of energy in your direction.  Now; within yourself, if you are not engaging the belief system of duplicity and if you are holding the recognition of the gloriousness of self, it matters not what my projection may be, for it shall be unaffected.
 
RODNEY:  I don’t have to objectively be remembering that I have this field around me and that energy will burst like a bubble.  I don’t have to be doing that if I am remembering of my own gloriousness.

ELIAS:  Quite.  Yes, you are correct in this.  Let us focus upon another very small example.

You may be within a situation engaged in a relationship with another individual.  You are moving about within your day, and you may be creating of an action that you place a teacup upon your table.  Your partner addresses to you angrily and expresses to you, “Why shall you place this teacup upon the table in this manner?  This is unacceptable!  You are an idiot!  I do not understand your creation of placing this cup in this manner!”

Now; your response automatically is to be receding and identifying tones and certain terms, certain words within your language that you view to be hurtful.  You shall not be in this moment evaluating self or the situation that has just occurred.  You shall be automatically immediately responding, and within your thought process you shall eliminate all words save “idiot,” “unacceptable,” “wrong.”  You shall save the tone which has been projected, and these you shall permit as penetration.

RODNEY:  I shall allow them to be penetrating.

ELIAS:  Correct.

RODNEY:  You are saying this is my belief?

ELIAS:  This is the action in general that individuals within physical focus shall be automatically creating in this type of situation.  Now; given this type of situation, let us also examine the reason that the penetration is allowed and the reason that the response is created automatically.  This would be the belief of duplicity, for automatically within the individual, yourself also, they shall be moving into the belief of duplicity.  Be remembering that this is not within your thought process.  It is an automatic action, just as if your physician is striking your knee, you shall produce an automatic response in reflex.

RODNEY:  That’s the duplicitousness.

ELIAS:  Correct.  In this duplicity you shall also, within emotion, create an automatic response which may be compared to a reflex, for it has become so very automatic.  It needs no thought process; it needs no evaluation.  It shall merely appear automatically, immediately; and in this, if you are identifying this duplicity, you may also offer yourself the opportunity to not be responding.

Now; in answer to your question initially — if you are altering your thought process in identifying this belief in the area of relationship and you are expressing to yourself differently, shall this be affecting of the belief systems and shall this be accepting of it? — my response to you is, it may be affecting.  It is not accepting of the belief system.  It is altering or changing the belief system.  It is changing your response to the belief system.  It is changing aspects of the belief system.  In this action, you are choosing to be focusing upon these birds ...

RODNEY:  Instead of the other birds.

ELIAS:  ... as opposed to focusing upon these birds.

RODNEY:  It appears to me that money is a huge issue for me.

ELIAS:  And for many individuals within physical focus!

RODNEY:  And it seems to me that I do not have the wherewithal to be in the kind of relationship I would want to be in because I don’t have the money to be in the kind of relationship I would want to be in.  That seems to be part of my belief.

ELIAS:  Quite!  For examine also....

RODNEY:  Because I believe that women require great amounts of money!

ELIAS:  Now; view to yourself, in this you present yourself with two aspects:  Women require vast amounts of financial expression.

RODNEY:  Yes.

ELIAS:  You do not hold the physical ability to provide this.

RODNEY:  Yes.

ELIAS:  Underlying that aspect is another aspect which attaches once again to the belief system of duplicity, in that you view within your officially accepted reality that you must be generating of this monetary gain.  You must be engaging in acquiring physical currency, and your ability to be acquiring this physical currency is limited.  It also is provided by limited actions.  It shall not merely fall from the sky!

RODNEY:  Oh, yes!

ELIAS:  You ...

RODNEY:  Don’t allow it to fall from the sky!

ELIAS:  ... shall not merely generate this currency appearing, although let me express to you that this aspect is another very limiting aspect of your belief systems, and in actuality you may be generating not only of all of your needs, but many of your wants.

RODNEY:  To be falling from the sky?

ELIAS:  In a figurative manner of speaking, creatively, yes.  For shall it not be amazing to you that this currency may appear seemingly from nowhere?  It does not, for you do not believe that it shall.

RODNEY:  Well, you have to work for it!

ELIAS:  Quite!

RODNEY:  Hmm!

ELIAS:  This is another aspect of the belief system.

RODNEY:  Yes, I am aware.

ELIAS:  In moving into the direction of trusting and accepting self, you shall offer yourself amazement in what you shall be creating, for your creativity is allowed much more of an expansiveness.  And although this initially may hold fearfulness for you, you also, in allowing yourself to move into the trust and acceptance of self, shall validate yourself, and this shall, little by little by little, erode away your fearfulness, for you shall continue to reinforce your own acceptance and trust of self.  And in this action, in actively participating in your own trust of self despite the officially accepted mass belief systems, you shall validate to yourself that this IS a reality.  It is not merely imagination, but is in actuality a reality.

You may be choosing also to be engaging interaction with Michael in this area, and he may be offering you information in line with this particular ability to be creating in this direction.  Let me express to you that I am acknowledging of Michael’s movement many times, for although this may be viewed rashly by many individuals, Michael holds the ability to move quickly into areas and apply himself fully into the addressing of certain aspects of belief systems.  I have offered previously the visual that Michael creates his movement in the manner of jumping quite into the middle of the pond quite often, not viewing the depth initially, but allowing himself little fearfulness and creating the movement of this jumping regardless of what he shall encounter in the middle of the pond.  This serves as an efficient example to many individuals in addressing to their own fearfulness.

RODNEY:  It’s like she gave me a message last week, among several which I thought were on the money, and she said, “You keep putting patches on your old car, and it’s old and gray, and consider, have enough trust to go out and get yourself a new red one, bright red, that it would create a new direction in your life that would quite amaze you.”

ELIAS:  Quite.

RODNEY:  Now, with all my concerns about money and about my ability to earn it and my age and all my limitations, for me to go out and acquire a bright new red car would require my jumping into the middle of a huge pond!

ELIAS:  And not testing the waters with your toe!

RODNEY:  (Laughing)  Are you’re suggesting that this is exactly what I should find myself trusting enough to do?

ELIAS:  Let me express to you that within physical focus, you ALL create objective imagery continuously to be offering yourselves information as to what you are creating within.  Therefore, let us view your example of your vehicle.  You move in the direction of objectively patching the physical vehicle.  This is a mirror action of what you are creating within.  In not trusting, you may view a belief system.  You may also view many of the aspects of the belief system, but you shall place these as jewels upon a shrine that you shall hold within you.

RODNEY:  These patches?

ELIAS:  Correct.  And each of these aspects of belief systems, you shall not let go!  You shall merely allow yourself to be creating them in the form of a jewel that you may view whenever you choose, and you may express to yourself, “What a fine jewel!  And I shall hold this and I shall create an attachment to this!  It holds much sentimental value to myself!” (George roars with laughter) “And I shall create a wondrous shrine and I shall place this jewel upon this shrine, that I may view this at any moment that I am so choosing.”  And in your objective outward expression, you hold to a vehicle that is being patched and patched and patched and run and run and run, and you shall hold to this vehicle, for it is necessary!

RODNEY:  I have to be cautious!

ELIAS:  Absolutely!

RODNEY:  You’re telling me to hold my cautiousness as a jewel and to place my cautiousness upon the shrine?

ELIAS:  You already have!  (Rodney cracks up)  I am expressing to you to be taking this jewel, viewing this jewel, and expressing to yourself, “This is merely a rock!  Why shall I hold this jewel and continue to place this upon this shrine?  I shall be discarding of this rock and I shall be dismantling of this shrine, for it does not serve me except to be participating in the action of perpetuating my own limitations.”  And what shall be so very wrong ... ah!  This term “wrong!”  Let us not eliminate this, for this is our very duplicitous nature!  And what be so very wrong with your acquiring of your desire of a new red vehicle that shall move much more efficiently and require much less effort?

RODNEY:  The girls may like it!

ELIAS:  Quite!

RODNEY:  Quite!  I read a book.  I’m a brown; I’m a color brown.  The book said if I wore a little bit of red, that would symbolize the energy of flirtatious affairs.  If I were to put myself into a red car, I could be overwhelmed by the energy!

ELIAS:  Quite!  I shall be expressing to you, if you are moving into this type of direction, you may be choosing to be acquiring of a bright orange vehicle, for this shall be the outward symbol of the orange energy center that you hold within your physical form, which is your sexuality!  (Grinning)

RODNEY:  (Laughing)  Actually, I’ve been drawn to orange-redness!  (Elias chuckles)  I thank you very much for all of that.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.

RODNEY:  I do have a couple of other questions.

ELIAS:  And you may engage them.

RODNEY:  They’re all so important!  I’ll start at the top.  (Elias chuckles)  A dear friend of mine ... her name is Nancy, and I met her father, an older man, last year.  He had Alzheimer’s, I believe, or something like that, and he did not communicate with anyone.  He would just look at them.  We were a large group of people, and I found that I could not take my attention off of him, nor could he take his attention off of me.  And although I know that at times this man did not live the sweetest of lives, when I met him and in the long, long moments that I was with him, I was amazed by his peacefulness and his accepting of everything.  We did not speak, but I was just filled with a deep feeling of peace and reverence.  Could you speak of this, and could you speak of my relationship to this man?  Is there any connection between us?
 
ELIAS:  It is an offering to you.  It is not necessarily what you view to be a connection, although as there is no separation within essence, you are essentially connected with all other individuals.  You are they and they are you.  But within the framework of your question of connection, this does not necessarily apply.  But this individual has offered you a moment of viewing.  You may view this within your terminology as a gift.

RODNEY:  That it was.

ELIAS:  The gift is the offering to be connecting with you momentarily within consciousness to such an extent that you also hold an objective awareness of the mergence.  It has been an offering of a mergence of energies, that you may hold the opportunity to view another experience.

Within the creation of this condition, so to speak, or your labeling of condition, the individual has created an action of moving into the area of transition while continuing to occupy physical focus, and in this creation allowed the self to move fully into this action and be accomplishing, to its fullest extent within physical focus, this action of transition.  In accomplishing this within physical focus before disengagement, there is an understanding, a knowing, a remembrance of essence, and in this it may be translated into physical focus as peacefulness, calm, and acceptance.

RODNEY:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  And this has been offered to you as a gift, that you may momentarily view this action, that you need hold no fearfulness futurely, for you have already viewed the action and what you may consider to be the beneficialness of it.

RODNEY:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.

RODNEY:  There’s only a couple of minutes left.  One quick question.  Years ago I discovered that in my random raging of emotional daydreams, I have the power to destroy automobiles.  They seem to just malfunction spontaneously (Elias chuckles) and get created into large sinkers — I call them anchors — never to be driven again.  I was in one of these tirades one day, and I’d been making strong efforts to be aware of NOT allowing myself to get into them, when one day a large hawk, a red-tailed hawk — they have very substantial wingspreads — swooped down over my car — I was only going about twenty-five miles an hour — swooped down over my car from the back and flew over the front of my hood, about a foot off the hood, straight down the road in front of me.  This was a remarkable event!
 
I was immediately startled into a total awareness of what I doing, why I was doing it, what it was doing to me, etcetera, etcetera, and I was extremely thankful that this message of this eagle was there to show me.  It was a mirror, saying, “Look, this is what you’re doing.”

ELIAS:  Quite.  And this also has been a gift.

RODNEY:  This is a guide, this eagle?

ELIAS:  This is a manifestation of a creation of a gift from the essence of Rose.

RODNEY:  Of Rose.

ELIAS:  Correct.  The essence of Rose moves very many times and quite consistently into manifesting gifts for noticing in the form of birds, and in each encounter of actual physical birds that Rose offers to individuals within physical focus, they hold a profound experience in noticing of some element of their creation and their reality within physical focus.  Rose is quite efficient at manipulating the energy consciousness of birds to be interactive with individuals.

RODNEY:  Two years ago, coming home from a beautiful conference, I saw a deer jump into a line of traffic on a superhighway, six lines of traffic traveling at least sixty miles an hour, in the dark, in the rain.  I screamed, “No!”  Something in me would not allow this to happen, knowing that the deer was going to be smattered into a thousand bits.  I watched in absolute amazement as I screamed, “No, no, no!”  And I saw that deer leap over the center island and leap through the other lines of traffic and across the road to safety.

ELIAS:  And this is the presentment of your own ability, not of what you may term to be a guide or some other worldly power, but of your own ability to be affecting within consciousness and to be presenting to yourself the validation that you ARE affecting and that your mere desire shall be quite influencing in actual objective expressions.

RODNEY:  Does it always need to be that strong?

ELIAS:  No.

RODNEY:  ‘Cause I was quite outside of myself in demanding that this not be.

ELIAS:  It needs not be objectively so very strongly expressed, but for your own awareness and for your own validation of self, this be the creation that you have offered to yourself in a dramatic experience that you shall be remembering and noticing.
 
This is your own creation.  Therefore, be acknowledging of yourself and recognizing the immenseness of your own ability, and this ability may be applied in the smallest of objective expressions.  You may be accomplishing of the same amazing feats with a mere twitch of your finger!

RODNEY:  Elias, I could sit here all day!  I’ve only started on my list of questions!  (Elias chuckles)  But I do not want to take advantage of Mary.

ELIAS:  And we shall be engaging again.

RODNEY:  Thank you.  I would very much welcome the opportunity.

ELIAS:  And I shall be anticipating this.

RODNEY:  I saw you hold hands with a young man last Saturday night.

ELIAS:  Quite amusing, was this not?  (Grinning)

RODNEY:  Yes.  Could we shake hands, at least?

ELIAS:  (Chuckling)  Absolutely!  (They begin to shake hands)  And shall we hold together in energy?

RODNEY:  Thank you very much.

ELIAS:  And shall I provide you with an aspect of my energy that you may feel physically blanketing around you?

RODNEY:  Thank you.  Would you pronounce the word Zacharie?  I’m not sure I got the pronunciation correctly.

ELIAS:  Zacharie.  (The last syllable is pronounced as a long “I” and is accented, as in Zaker-I’)

RODNEY:  Zacharie.  That is correct, Zacharie?

ELIAS:  Correct.

RODNEY:  Not “ie-ree” or “ee-rie,” but Zacharie.

ELIAS:  Correct.

RODNEY:  This is the name of my essence?

ELIAS:  The totality of tone.

RODNEY:  Of the essence of which I am a part?

ELIAS:  Correct ... of which you ARE.

RODNEY:  Of which I AM.  Oh my!  Thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.  And I express much lovingness to you this day and anticipate our next meeting.

RODNEY:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.  And I shall be expressing to you a very fond au revoir.

Elias departs at 11:25 AM.

FOOTNOTES:

(1)  Margot initially transcribed this session and sent me the following note: “As soon as I heard Rodney’s voice, I felt a distinct connection to him.  I can’t recall that this has happened before with a new voice, and nearly every time I went to type ‘Rodney,’ I began typing ‘George’ instead.  Frustrating as well as interesting!!”

So, I’m not going to change “George roars with laughter.”  Actually, this is quite interesting because of another note Margot sent, which is as follows: “Vic, does it seem to you that Elias spoke especially affectionately to Rodney?  At times it was as if they were two old guys, old friends having a friendly chat.”

This appears to be connected to a man named Charles who attended a session on 3/17/96.  Elias referred to Charles as an “old friend” and said he was fragmented of Tomkin, which is the essence that represents the Milumet family in our game and is one of 12 essences involved with the energy exchange with Elias.  What is interesting is that Mary’s daughter Elizabeth had an imaginary friend as a child who looked exactly like Charles.  Elias identified this imaginary friend as the essence of Tomkin.  Elizabeth called him George.

What is also interesting is that in my memory, only one person has brought an infant to a session.  This baby was identified by Elias as being a focus of Tomkin.  His physical name is Zachary, which is very similar to Rodney’s essence name.

Now, a note from Rodney:

“The names all ring bells with me, George in particular.  I have a cousin by this name, but I rarely see him.  Actually, I’ll explain the situation with a little story.  Maybe 6 years ago, I formed a “men’s group” of 12 people who simply thought it might be a good idea.  One of those men has the name Roger.
“Now, after meeting every other week for over three years, I looked him in the eye one night and addressed him by the name George, and I kept on talking not realizing what I’d done until the awkward looks started to clue me in.  Worse still, I continued to make this “mistake” until it appeared that Roger was getting annoyed by it, so I began to make a concerted effort to stop.  In all of this, I realized that I hold a very special affection for the name George.

“Incidentally, Roger is and lives a life that is very complementary to mine — what I’m not he is, that sort of thing — and I admire him very much.”

Now, ain’t that interesting imagery?