Friday, September 10, 2004 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Brian (Enzo)

(Elias’ arrival time is 18 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

BRIAN: Good morning, Elias! How are you, my dear friend?

ELIAS: As always, and yourself?

BRIAN: I’m doing quite well, my friend. It is so good to talk to you objectively!

ELIAS: (Laughs) And how shall we proceed?

BRIAN: We sure shall. What is my orientation?

ELIAS: And what is your impression?

BRIAN: Intermediate all the way.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Correct.

BRIAN: Essence family?

ELIAS: And your impression?

BRIAN: I always thought Sumari.

ELIAS: And your alignment?

BRIAN: Ilda?

ELIAS: Correct.

BRIAN: Sumari with Ilda?

ELIAS: Correct.

BRIAN: Excellent! And color tone?

ELIAS: And your impression?

BRIAN: Oh, red. (Elias chuckles) Correct?

ELIAS: Scarlet.

BRIAN: Musical chord?

ELIAS: Impression?

BRIAN: D.

ELIAS: Correct.

BRIAN: And number of focuses?

ELIAS: Numbering of focuses, 821.

BRIAN: I’m going to get right to it with you, Elias, my dear friend. Can you please tell me about my relationship with Cynthia? What is this a combination of? Orientation, mirror action, lack of acceptance of self, the belief system of relationships, and the truth wave?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRIAN: I kind of thought so. Why was this the most affecting of anything I’ve ever been through? And was she soft? My impression was, after reading your stuff, that she was soft.

ELIAS: Correct.

BRIAN: Okay, I was right on. It just colored every area of my life.

ELIAS: In what capacity?

BRIAN: Finally realizing that I had given in so many times in every relationship and forgot about me — issues of self-worth, self-esteem, lack of acceptance of self. It just seemed in these two years it came crashing home that I created all this so I could see myself.

ELIAS: Correct.

BRIAN: Well, thank you, sir.

ELIAS: And therefore it has...

BRIAN: Since the disengagement of that, there has been an acceleration of awareness within a very short timeframe. Is this in line with the truth wave?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRIAN: Good, good, good. Why do all these relationships only seem to last a short timeframe, two to three years tops, and I so desire a long-term relationship?

ELIAS: But this is obvious, is it not? For if you are not paying attention to you and you are not allowing yourself the freedom of your expression, paying attention to your preferences and paying attention to what you want to be expressing, acquiescing to other individuals, allowing other individuals to be directing of you and also waiting to express yourself dependent upon how the other individual is expressing and in association with what they are choosing, you are denying yourself. Therefore, you do not continue in creating a relationship that would be more ongoing.

BRIAN: Orientation probably plays a big part in this. Since intermediate being a quote/unquote minority in physical focus, I suppose I’ve probably been with mostly either soft or common, which really doesn’t help the cause, now does it, for an intermediate?

ELIAS: Not necessarily. Let me explain. Although you may speak the same language with another individual incorporating the same orientation as yourself, that is not to say that you cannot generate a relationship with another individual of another orientation and generate it successfully. It is a matter of understanding the differences of those languages.

But that may not necessarily be as affecting as other factors such as beliefs, your individual truths, what you allow to influence you or trigger you, and also whether you are actually paying attention to yourself, what you are expressing, the energy that you are projecting, what is influencing your behavior, and whether you are allowing yourself your own expression of freedom or not. Those factors, in actuality, may be more affecting within the generation of a relationship than orientation.

Orientation may be affecting if you do not incorporate information and therefore do not incorporate an understanding of the differences. But once recognizing the differences of orientations and allowing yourself to incorporate an understanding of those differences and an acceptance of those differences, you may generate a relationship with an individual incorporating another orientation quite easily.

BRIAN: Ah, really? I think acceptance of self has to be the greatest thing you’ve ever spoken of. It hits home that through all of this I’ve given in in these relationships because of lack of acceptance of self. I’ve also equated the lack of money with lack of worth. I have an apartment and most of these women had houses, so I fell into the trap of comparison. That would always make me feel real bad about myself, like I should be creating outwardly, I should be creating this way.

After reading your session with Marta from a long time ago on intermediate — which to me is the watershed of intermediate — it’s always me to a tee in reading of how we internalize. Always, my whole life, I’ve looked at it from the outside looking in, in that respect. That definitely runs in line with intermediate, doesn’t it?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRIAN: I thought so. Wow. You know, I feel different now. I feel like a chapter’s closed, as far as relationships go. They’re so laden with belief systems that it’s almost like I don’t know if I even want to go back into that until I’ve taken care of me for a time framework. I feel more comfortable now than ever, though my yellow center does spin quite a lot. I wanted to ask you about that.

ELIAS: Emotional communications.

BRIAN: Oh, it’s talking to me.

ELIAS: And it is significant that you allow yourself a time framework in which you may become more intimately familiar with yourself and more familiar with listening to your emotional communications, allowing yourself to translate those and understand what you are expressing to yourself. This also may be a time framework in which you may be familiarizing yourself with your own individual preferences.

Now; also recognize (that) all that you do, all that you process, all that you generate, all that you create is filtered through beliefs. Therefore, it is not a matter of relationships incorporating so many beliefs that that may be exhausting, so to speak, but rather allowing yourself to recognize that all of your focus is filtered through beliefs. What is significant is that you allow yourself to become familiar with your truths — which are those beliefs which have become absolutes and therefore are unquestioned — and with beliefs that are strongly influencing of you in automatic responses, how you restrict yourself by allowing the dictates of other individuals, and not allowing yourself to be expressing what you want, which is an unfamiliar action with you.

BRIAN: It’s out of fear of losing them. Because relationships are so few and far between, I feel as though if I don’t cling tight and hold tight to it by placating, then I’ll lose them, not realizing that what I’m really losing is me in the process.

ELIAS: Also, ultimately you sabotage the relationship. For the more tightly you hold, the more you actually push away.

BRIAN: Yes. You’re right. In the beginning with most of these, my inner voice, throughout my whole life and especially in relationships, has always almost like hollered at me, saying, “Get out, this is not for you!” Yet, I ignore it, and I stay in the relationships, and ultimately beat myself up.

ELIAS: This is significant for you to be examining, allowing yourself a time framework in which you may genuinely actually familiarize yourself with you and with your own voice. Therefore, in familiarizing yourself with you and with your own voice, you may begin to trust yourself more and be more accepting, generating an appreciation of self. That shall allow you to be generating more of an exposure, which allows you to receive.

BRIAN: I feel as though I’m starting to do that now. In these last three months, I’ve actually been relaxing enough to allow myself to just be me. I’ve always been me; it just seems when I get into these relationships, they don’t accept me for me. I have so much to give and so much love inside of me, and then I get into a relationship and I get hammered for just being me.

ELIAS: But this is a reflection of what you are expressing within your energy.

BRIAN: Of my lack of acceptance of self and self worth...

ELIAS: Yes.

BRIAN: ...and money issues?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRIAN: So, my answers basically are all before me.

ELIAS: Correct.

BRIAN: After reading all your material, it seems like at every page I say there’s me, there’s me, there’s me, and everything’s laid out.

ELIAS: (Laughs) It is merely a matter of paying attention.

BRIAN: Yes, yes. Like I said, from a very young age I wondered, and I paid attention to nature. I sort of always knew that there was more than meets the eye in physical reality, and I couldn’t quite explain it. I read Seth and then I read your stuff, and it just corroborates what I’ve felt through my whole focus. (Elias chuckles)

What is my essence name?

ELIAS: Essence name, Enzo, E-N-Z-O.

BRIAN: Enzo, I like that! Unique! I could use that in my music stuff. (Elias laughs) I play classical guitar, and I’ve been playing lead guitar on stage for many, many years. Actually, one of my greatest satisfactions is playing in front of people. I can just so be me in that element.

Dream imagery, my dear friend, a very profound dream I had last year — I call it the drowning dream. I was going underwater, and Cynthia was on a dock in a wedding dress with a guy standing next to her wearing a tuxedo with a shroud on his face. Later in the relationship, it came down to her wanting to get married and have a family. When I came to my truth, I realized it was really what I didn’t want. Could you please explain to me a little bit about that dream?

ELIAS: (Laughs) I may express to you that this dream imagery is quite simple, in actuality, in presenting to yourself the concept of generating a particular type of union with another individual and the imagery that that presents in association with your preferences, that were you to be generating that type of action in this time framework you would be acquiescing such to a point that it would be likened to drowning.

BRIAN: Oh, symbolism.

ELIAS: Yes.

BRIAN: Have she and I shared focuses? It was very magical in a lot of respects, this relationship, as far as the psychic bond and our likes and dislikes. We shared a lot of the same things. Have we shared focuses?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRIAN: In which capacity?

ELIAS: In many different capacities of relationships — in romantic relationships, in family relationships, in friendships. You have incorporated many different capacities of relationships.

BRIAN: Because I never really felt very sexual around her. I actually created impotency during that. If you could explain that to me, because that had never happened in my entire life. Was that from the lack of acceptance of self?

ELIAS: Partially, and also partially it is associated with your orientation.

BRIAN: In what way would that have to do with the intermediate and soft?

ELIAS: Now; let me express, in association with sexual activity with an intermediate individual and a soft individual, this may be somewhat challenging, for each of these orientations incorporates certain expressions in association with sexual expressions. Intermediate individuals many times incorporate some challenges with sexual activity, for intermediate individuals generate a type of guardedness in association with passion. They are aware of their capacity for passion and the strength of it, but they also, generally speaking, incorporate somewhat of a hesitancy to be expressing that in fear of its power.

BRIAN: Oh, yes, that’s it! Actually as you’re saying that, I’m feeling that. Yes.

ELIAS: I may also express that another factor in association with the intermediate orientation, other than the passion element, is that there is generally incorporated a fear of exposure, and generating sexual intimacy triggers that fear of exposure.

BRIAN: Exposure in which way, Elias?

ELIAS: Exposure of the individual’s self.

BRIAN: Yes, because I have certain preferences sexually that Cynthia would not acquiesce to. Yet, the one before her, Judy, who was really a good sexual match for me, she and I would do what we wanted, when we wanted. So I can see your point as far as Cynthia. She was very guarded in allowing my preferences.

ELIAS: This is not what I am speaking of. What I am speaking of is in generating a genuine intimacy with another individual, the individual incorporating the intermediate orientation may become guarded. For within your associations, generating intimacy in sexual activity creates more of a vulnerable exposure and an exposure into your genuine self, which that is not often expressed with intermediate individuals.

BRIAN: So once again it goes back to I would be, I’m not going to say better because I don’t want to use duplicity, but I desire an intermediate in my life. Is that within my line of probabilities?

ELIAS: It is a choice.

BRIAN: I would actually like it to be a choice.

ELIAS: It is.

Now; let me also express to you that coupling your...

(Tape ends after 25 minutes)

(1) See , 5/5/00.

©2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.