Letting Go of Control
Topics:
”Letting Go of Control”
”It Is All Interconnected”
“Your Desire Drives Your Experiences”
Thursday, January 18, 2007 (Private)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Terri (Uliva)
ELIAS: Good afternoon.
TERRI: Good afternoon.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And how is your adventure proceeding now?
TERRI: That’s a good question. I’m here for my checkup, because it’s still moving, and I can really feel a lot of the success, and I feel like I’m in the middle of this huge lesson on letting go of control.
And I feel - it’s like, who’s teaching me? Because I keep feeling like with the power going out, the phone going out, the internet going out and I want so much to move forward and there’s like another, a teacher on the other side going, “This is what you want to learn and I’m here to help you learn it, so you’re just not going to do anything now.” (Laughs and Elias chuckles)
So is it me teaching me? Is that what it is? Because it’s so… That part gets confusing. Talking to Mary helped a lot. Just talking about it helps you understand it better, but I just feel like…
So I’m on the right track, that I’m in the middle of this huge piece of letting go of control.
ELIAS: Yes. And offering yourself examples of automatic responses associated with control. And therefore, in generating these experiences, you allow yourself to view more clearly not merely what your automatic responses are, but also the areas in which you are not allowing enough flexibility.
TERRI: Like career and tied to money. Because yesterday I just got to the point where it’s like well, I’m just going to watch TV, and the phone started ringing. And then today I wanted to do things again, and the phone cut out and so did the internet, so I couldn’t do anything. I was telling Mary, I get myself confused in the area of action versus letting go of control, because you say you need to keep taking action, but then I feel like I can’t even do THAT. So maybe I don’t understand action.
ELIAS: It is all interconnected. That is the key. What creates your confusion is that you are viewing the action in one direction. In any particular time framework you generate the idea of what action to express, and what you lose sight of is that every action, every direction that you generate is all interconnected.
Therefore, even preventing yourself from engaging CERTAIN actions offers you the opportunity to view what choices you engage in relation to that prevention, and what type of energy you are expressing, and whether you are expressing flexibility or not.
TERRI: Flexibility in what manner? Like yesterday I was looking at the bulk email program, and I wanted to try that but then I couldn’t get the payment to go through. And I’m like, okay, so what am I doing? And I thought, well… So I could still wait. I didn’t have to make it go right through right then, but I kept feeling frustrated. It’s like every time I wanted something to work, I just completely stop it - I don’t even slow it; it’s like stopped. It’s like, okay (laughs) I felt like I spent the whole morning for nothing. And the other side says, no energy is wasted, it still has a purpose. And the other side says, okay, then what’s the purpose? Because I’m really frustrated. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And the purpose is offering yourself information. Not necessarily the outcome.
TERRI: Right. So what was the information? Because I wasn’t - you know, I guess with this whole moving forward, this different business, am I trying to tell myself that this isn’t the right way to go?
ELIAS: No.
TERRI: Because I feel like it is.
ELIAS: No. In this, partially you are presenting to yourself another element of control. And in each of these stoppages, at the stop point you are presenting yourself with an element of control, and this is the reason that you become frustrated. Therefore, each time you generate some stoppage of action, you are presenting another facet of control to yourself. Were you not experiencing that push to be controlling, you would not be generating the frustration.
It also is an opportunity, as I expressed, for you to examine what you are doing and to incorporate flexibility. What is meant by the flexibility is the ability to move your attention in other directions, knowing that all that you do is interconnected. Therefore, if you stop yourself in one process, you will immediately engage another action. But what is the other action that you will engage? Frustration, anger?
TERRI: (Laughs) Yes.
ELIAS: Or will you engage some other action, knowing that all that you are doing is interconnected, and rather than generating an opposing energy with yourself allowing yourself to flow.
TERRI: That’s what I tried to do the other day when the power was out and I couldn’t do anything. I’m like, okay, I’ll make the best of this and I’ll take the dogs for a walk. And then Sassy got hurt again. And I’m like, okay, so I’m not supposed to do this either. Maybe I should just sit there in the dark with my arms crossed and wait. (Laughs) I thought I was trying to flow with it and be flexible and…
ELIAS: It is not a matter of what you are supposed to do or not supposed to do. This is another presentment. The commonality in these experiences is that when you present certain experiences to yourself, you generate an automatic response, either of discounting yourself or frustration or anger. (Pause) You are attempting to generate different actions, but pay attention to them, for in all of the actions that you are generating you continue to present the expression of allowing yourself to view your automatic responses.
TERRI: So like yesterday, when I was - I love Joey. I was going to take him for a walk and then go to the vet. Nothing was working right on the drive, so I’m like, okay, I’m just going to go to the vet and then… because this isn’t the right timing. Like that? And then I went for the walk afterwards, and it was fine. So instead of trying to push and make the walk work then, I just went to the vet.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Like that?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: And like last night, when I was like, okay, I’m just going to watch TV, and then the calls started coming. And the other day when I was like okay, I’m just going to read this book, not related to work or anything, and then the power came back on.
ELIAS: The commonality in these experiences is that, in your vernacular, you gave up. When you give up, your energy changes. It relaxes. And what you automatically do in that giving up and changing your energy is you drop your expectations.
TERRI: And that’s what I’m learning. That’s what I’m in the process of learning. Because I feel that -
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: - I can feel that I’m like in this area where I can’t go back and do things the way I was doing them, and I’m not quite there on how to do them in this new way. I feel like I’m in this in-between place, but at least I know it, so I think that’s a success.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: And I recognize the situation.
ELIAS: You are engaging the process.
TERRI: Right. Of letting go of control.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Because that’s what I want. I want to learn how to do this easier, and I keep showing myself these glimpses, but I’m not quite there yet on how to make it - I’m trying to make it more of a permanent thing. I’m just in the process of learning how to do it.
Because I do recognize the frustration, and I do recognize when I let go, but I guess my confusion comes from you saying that you have to keep doing an action. And the things that I was doing were things that I really enjoy, like I wanted to put together the sample bags, and I really enjoy looking on the internet, but then I put a stop to that. And I was like okay, if I’m doing an action that I enjoy, then why am I stopping that?
ELIAS: For you are engaging your desire.
TERRI: Right. That’s not good? (Laughs)
ELIAS: Your desire is to be generating more information, moving into an expression of not engaging control to the extent that you have previously, showing yourself your automatic responses and therefore, regardless of whether you like or dislike any particular action, you engage experiences that you will pay attention to and that you will move yourself into accomplishing your desire.
TERRI: And I really do recognize that now. I’m just kind of looking to you to verify what I already feel is going on, right?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Okay. So, that’s good. That’s like success. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Quite!
TERRI: I wanted to ask: Sassy peeing in the middle of the night, is that imagery to myself of letting go of control?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Okay. Because that’s what I thought it was. So, I mean it’s really, this whole thing is just one big thing of moving in the direction of really learning how to let go of control. Okay.
I wanted to ask: do I have a connection to Einstein? Maybe an observing focus or something?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: That’s what it is, observing focus? Okay. That’s pretty cool. (Laughs) Because I could feel like I’m really impressed with him, but I didn’t really feel like I was him. But like maybe a friend? Or…?
ELIAS: You do incorporate the role of an observing essence to that individual.
TERRI: Okay. I guess I know the term to say, but I don’t really understand it.
ELIAS: An observing essence incorporates all of the same experiences that the directing essence generates. Therefore, you experience the focus the same.
TERRI: Hm. I wanted to kind of expand on what I said last time about what my overall intention is here, and I said doing things on my own. But I wanted to add to that, doing things on my own because I have this perception that if I have too many other people in my life that it’ll distract me from how far I want to go while I’m here, and I don’t want those distractions. Would that be fair?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: And that kind of reminds me of Einstein, too. He really spent a lot of time alone, contemplating, and he got his ideas. Okay.
And this whole control thing, I feel like - you know, I was satisfied with Shawn, my weight, my job, and then it all kind of went back to ground zero. And I have this feeling that I did that because I want to create that satisfaction again, taking a different avenue.
ELIAS: Yes. Although I would express to you, you did not go back to ground zero. You created a new ground zero.
TERRI: Right. Because I don’t feel like that was a bad thing. I just feel like it’s like okay, well I want to do that again, but I want to do it differently.
ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, you have created a new beginning point.
TERRI: Yeah. Because I want to try it through letting go of control. Because I still feel Shawn around, and I don’t feel bad about him not being there right now. I feel like I’m kind of playing with it, recreating it.
And my weight, too. I guess my weight confuses me more, because I’m trying to break away from - I keep getting stuck with okay, I don’t create the same way anymore. And I’m trying to move my attention to different perceptions about weight loss other than it has to be diet or exercise related. And I know that belief will still be there, and it still is there with my dog. So I’m like struggling with that one but trying to do something new, too. So is that another point where I’m like in-between this…?
ELIAS: Yes. And in that, I am acknowledging of you, that you recognize that it is not beneficial for you to be opposing of those beliefs, and that it is more beneficial to you to merely acknowledge them and therefore generate less importance with them. And that allows you to move into new directions.
You will generate the association of diet or exercise, for this is very strongly associated with your guidelines. But you can generate different associations with those, not restrictive ones. And in that, you can allow yourself more freedom and manipulate those beliefs in a different manner, in which, yes, you continue to express these beliefs, but they can be expressed in many, many, many different manners.
TERRI: Right. Which is one where I’m playing with speeding up my metabolism, because I know I can slow down time, so I should be able to speed up metabolism.
ELIAS: And you can.
TERRI: And it should be the same, just holding that same type of knowing, that it will happen. So I think this whole - like if the theme of last year was paying attention and noticing, then the theme of this year is trusting and moving more into a knowing.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Would that be a fair assessment?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Does that have to do with the perception wave, too?
ELIAS: Yes. And implementing.
TERRI: Right. Yeah. (Laughs) But it’s kind of cool, because I’m starting to recognize in when I start feeling this confusion that that’s when I’m like on the edge of the understanding.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Okay. That’s good.
ELIAS: And I am acknowledging of you in that also. For now you are becoming more familiar with your own patterns, and in those patterns you can acknowledge yourself rather than generating overwhelming frustration.
TERRI: Right. And I do feel more of a knowing, that I can really recognize, okay, this is what’s going on. And it is a success, because I am moving in the direction where I want to go.
ELIAS: Quite so.
TERRI: Yeah. I did want to ask why Sassy keeps getting hurt. I’m trying to - and maybe I’m overanalyzing it and not keeping it simple as it should be. One piece of it, I think, is what you were saying before where creating the harmony between the two, and that’s like a byproduct of it.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: But does it have something to do with more of my playful side, since she is the one that’s getting hurt and Zeus isn’t? Or is that just me overanalyzing it?
ELIAS: No. You are moving in a correct direction. For that is the side which incorporates more flexibility.
TERRI: The playful side.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: So flexibility equals pain? (Laughs)
ELIAS: Not necessarily. But you do pay attention. It generates noticing, and it allows you to engage different actions.
I shall reiterate. Remember: all of your actions are interrelated. They are all interconnected.
Therefore, whatever you do, whatever experiences you generate, they are all related to every other experience, whether it be your creature generating an injury or your power disconnecting, or moving in different expressions of how to generate familiar actions differently. It matters not whether it is associated with your career or your creature; they are all connected. And the common denominator of them all is your desire. Your desire drives your experiences. And your desire is what is important to be aware of, which you are.
But in that, it is important to remember that desire in the presentment of your experiences, and to notice how you are responding to them and what type of energy you are generating in relation to them.
TERRI: So with her, I was getting upset with Zeus, that he kept causing it. So I’m getting upset with my - it’s like a conflict between my consistent focus side and my playful, adventure side. So I’m still trying to bring those into harmony.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Which I thought was what was going on.
ELIAS: Yes. Congratulations!
TERRI: Yeah. And I do -
ELIAS: For you continue to express some opposition to that element of yourself. Remember: that is also a natural element of you.
TERRI: The playful side. Both sides. Right.
ELIAS: What you term to be the more consistent side of you, that more serious side of you, is a natural element of you. That is the element that you continue to somewhat oppose. In wanting to express the more flexible and the more playful more, you continue to somewhat push with what you term to be the other side.
TERRI: Which is the whole imagery of this new business, too.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: That’s another… And I can really see?all of these pieces. I know when you remind me of these, you’re not telling me something that I’m not aware of. You sense that I am aware of all this?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: You’re just reinforcing and pointing out that this is what’s going on.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: And I just need to relax.
ELIAS: Correct.
TERRI: I need to relax more. (Laughs) And I’m trying. I think I’m being successful at doing it more often.
ELIAS: I would agree.
TERRI: Because the containers aren’t blowing up. They’re like blowing up in a different way now. It’s not like the huge crisis way anymore.
ELIAS: Correct. Not quite as traumatic.
TERRI: Yeah. Which is good. I like that. (Both laugh) So… It’s cool, though. I can really see how I’m really moving. I’m really teaching myself to move in this new direction. I was just wondering if it was - I mean, is it part of my essence, my overall essence, too, that helps teach? And other focuses? Or is it just…? It’s not just me here, right? Everybody has like a piece in it somehow?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. For you draw energies to yourself that will be beneficial or helpful or reinforcing. And in that, you ARE essence. Therefore, you can draw upon many different energies and configure them in a manner that will be beneficial to you in accomplishing.
TERRI: And that includes other people? Like I can tap into Cesar Milan’s energy?
ELIAS: Yes, you can.
TERRI: Because I felt like I did that one day, when I caught myself in the park with my dogs, and I caught myself looking down and just pausing and gathering them up in this calm energy. And I felt like I was tapping into his. Is that true?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Yeah. Because it’s a really different feeling. Hmm. That’s cool. And that’s - so, let’s see. Yeah.
Oh, I wanted to ask. Why do all these bosses or people that are leading all these things that I get involved to named John? Does that have something to do with my father? Or is it just…? I mean nothing is a coincidence. Is there a message here I’m missing why all these Johns in these mentor-leader positions come up?
ELIAS: It is familiar, and it is comforting.
TERRI: Which is weird, because he killed himself. It feels like it’s somebody that I automatically trust, which is kind of weird to me because he killed himself. (Laughs) So I couldn’t really trust him to be there. Is it like a piece of…? You know, a lot of these things I end up thinking it didn’t work out the way I wanted them to. So is it like a whole piece of me learning how to trust, trusting in who he was, like trusting him? And I’m like repeating this experience?
ELIAS: You are not repeating. You are continuing.
TERRI: Continuing. Because I’m learning to trust men?
ELIAS: Each one is a continuation, and another piece of the puzzle to create the whole picture.
TERRI: I’m getting closer to the whole picture.
ELIAS: Yes. You are.
TERRI: It’s cool. I just feel like I’m right on the edge (laughs) of something. (Both laugh) It’s like I’m just - like the door’s open and I’m standing there. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Upon the threshold.
TERRI: Yeah. Okay. That’s cool. Okay, well that’s the end of our time, but this is… Each time we talk, I just feel like I’m just moving ever closer to this different place. It’s so cool.
ELIAS: And I would agree. And I express great congratulations to you, my friend.
TERRI: Thank you.
ELIAS: You have generated significant movement. And I remind you: you are not stuck. (Chuckles)
TERRI: Oh good. That gave me chills. Thank you. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Very well, my dear friend, I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be offering my energy to you in great encouragement.
TERRI: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite deserving. (Chuckles) To you in great lovingness, au revoir.
TERRI: Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 33 minutes)
Copyright 2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.