Relax and Allow For a Flow
Topics:
“Relax and Allow For a Flow”
“Overriding Internal Messages”
“Humans Change, Preferences Change, and Energy Changes”
“All Accomplishments Share the Same Energy”
“Trust Is the Lack of Questioning”
Session 20070509 (2268)
“Relax and Allow For a Flow”
“Overriding Internal Messages”
“Humans Change, Preferences Change, and Energy Changes”
“All Accomplishments Share the Same Energy”
“Trust Is the Lack of Questioning”
Wednesday, May 9, 2007 (Private/In Person)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Terri (Uliva)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
TERRI: Good afternoon, Elias.
ELIAS: What shall we discuss?
TERRI: Oh, career and money and things such as that. (Laughs) Do I seem any less tense today?
ELIAS: Somewhat.
TERRI: (Laughs) Somewhat? I have still a lot there. I was telling Mary that my vision, it finally broke and is certain to get better. I thought it was interesting how I created a series of nightmares to show me where the tension was really being built up. The things that I’m so tense about – we’re going to talk about the career and money today, but with the kids and my house in Virginia, I know those things bother me, and I guess I was just minimizing it. So, I guess the importance is just to acknowledge that those are big things for me instead of trying to minimize.
ELIAS: I would agree.
TERRI: I’ve been trying to do the exercises, too, and take other steps like the massage and going back to classes, so I guess all of that together created the breakthrough. It was like the nightmares were the final push. That's correct?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: So, I can still keep making it better. I just have to keep on that path and keep relaxing and trying to relax. (Laughs) But I think with the Castaic session, I think I am doing more now instead of trying.
ELIAS: Congratulations.
TERRI: Thank you. And I'm really trying to appreciate that I am accomplishing instead of trying to accomplish.
Before we get into that, just a couple of quick questions. My dog Sassy: Is part of her energy my Aunt Kay?
ELIAS: (Pause) A fleck.
TERRI: A fleck. And I was saying last night that Zeus is a lot of my father, and Lynda said a fleck and I said, “I think he's more than a fleck,” and she says, “Well, a fleck's a lot.” So when you say “a fleck,” is Zeus just a fleck of my father too, and that's a huge thing?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Hm, okay. Because watching those two together, it just reminds me that my dad and her were very close, and she was always so lively and full of life, and it just reminds me of that relationship they had. So that's pretty cool.
Lynda had an impression last night that Rodney and I share over 300 focuses together, so we were all curious.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: So that's why we feel so comfortable together? It's not like I feel like I know him a lot, but him showing up and me happening to call Lynda yesterday, I just felt so much better this morning having spent time with him. Is that because of his energy and because of so many focuses together?
ELIAS: That familiarity, yes, that lends to a comfort.
TERRI: The other night I got up at like 4:30 in the morning, and this little bird ended up in my mudroom. I thought maybe it was imagery that anything is possible. Do I keep sending myself these signs that I can create impossible things?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: Because Lynda was saying it was the essence of Rose, but I don't really feel like I have that strong of a connection with Rose.
ELIAS: That may change, but no, this imagery was not associated with that.
TERRI: Okay, I didn’t think so. Then I was reading a session of Leona's, and she was talking to you about her husband died and left her a lot of money so she was taken care of for the rest of her time; she felt completely taken care of. When I was reading that, I had this feeling wash over me, and it gave me the sense that I was trying to tell myself that I am too. I just don't recognize it, or I don't believe it, or...
ELIAS: Yes, I would agree.
TERRI: Yeah. Okay.
ELIAS: You are not entirely connected to that yet. It remains somewhat of a concept rather than being expressed in experience and generating that into reality rather than merely a concept. You understand it intellectually, but you are not actually allowing yourself yet to experience that, to experience that knowing that you are just as secure.
TERRI: But I feel like that's the direction I'm moving in.
ELIAS: Yes, I would agree.
TERRI: Which kind of leads me into the main theme. (Laughs) With the money thing, when we talked last time I said I have all this money floating out there and I just need to bring it back to myself, so I was really looking forward to this real estate deal that should have just been a no-brainer. It was a new home, he had so much money down; those are usually no problem, and he doesn't show up! I don't know why. So I did do the exercise where you said to laugh, and I couldn't. I pictured myself rolling on the floor laughing, almost as if I was going insane. I thought to myself, “Okay, if I can push it away this easily, I can draw it to myself this easily.” And it’s the same with weight - weight isn't any easier to gain or lose, it's our perception.
ELIAS: Correct.
TERRI: So that was the message. I think all of this information that I'm getting is leading me in that direction of what we were just talking about, because that's my desire, to feel that secure.
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: And so I'm trying... Well, I AM – not “trying,” (laughs) but I'm trusting that and recognizing that this is my process more and trying to let myself lead myself there. Because I keep feeling like I'm this little kid pouting in the corner going, “I don't want to go. I’m just going to fight this the whole way.” But then the other part of me is like, “Come on, it's going to be so much better over here,” and I'm like, “NO. I don't want! I want to make this as hard as I possibly can,” which is what I'm doing. (Laughs) So, I wanted to get some insight there. Why am I doing that? Who is that little kid, pouting?
ELIAS: It is very familiar – and beyond being familiar, is also the direction that most individuals move in: complicating, pushing energy, forcing and generating much more energy and much more effort than is necessary.
One of the most powerful suggestions that I offer to individuals, and have offered to you and that you are practicing, is to relax. But that is one of the most difficult expressions for individuals to understand, for even when they think they are relaxing they are not.
TERRI: Like me hiking. I always think that that's relaxing, but I've been paying attention more and seeing how I'm not relaxing. (Laughs) It’s like I'm doing something that should be relaxing, but I have so much going on...
ELIAS: Correct.
TERRI: …that I'm not relaxing.
ELIAS: Precisely. And this is one of the most powerful expressions that you can generate, for when you relax and are genuinely present, you allow for a flow. When you are not relaxed, you generate tension and you create obstacles, and you complicate whatever you are doing, and you begin projecting your attention in many different directions rather than allowing yourself to be focused in what you are doing. This creates uneasiness, and it complicates.
If you can genuinely experience a moment in which you are genuinely comfortable and satisfied in that present moment, you can begin to repeat that moment and become more comfortable and more satisfied and redirect your energy, moving it away from what is familiar in fretting and projecting and generating anxiety and worrying, and replace that with being present and allowing yourself to genuinely be satisfied and comfortable within yourself. When you are comfortable and satisfied, there is very little that can threaten you.
TERRI: Am I doing that, ever? (Laughs)
ELIAS: (Chuckles) You incorporate moments. But this is a key, for it is an action that you can very well practice.
TERRI: Is that the exercise that you gave me with the silver thread? [1] I've been trying to do that – I've been doing it.
ELIAS: You can practice relaxing in that, but what I am expressing in relation to being comfortable and being satisfied is an expression that you can practice in each moment. When you awake, you can feel your own comfort in your body. You can allow yourself to experience your own satisfaction laying within your bed. You can allow yourself to experience your comfort and your satisfaction with your creatures.
TERRI: Which I thought I was doing more of, because I've been trying to notice and really pay attention that I'm satisfied within that moment, and I'm fine within that moment. But am I trying to force it too much? Is that what you’re saying?
ELIAS: What I am expressing, no, is to eliminate the “but”: “I am doing this, I am appreciating this, I am feeling and experiencing satisfaction and comfort, BUT -- . ”
TERRI: Did I just say “but?”
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: I did? (Laughs)
ELIAS: “But” – in the next moment you are projecting: “What shall I do this day? What am I about to do? What...?”
TERRI: “What DON’T I want to do?” (Laughs)
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: With this career, I guess I'm confused again. I'm trusting more that this is my process, that I create these things to gain the information, and then I move myself into this state of confusion, which, like you were saying in the session in Castaic, we pay attention to what's important. Then it becomes important to me because I get dissatisfied again. I don't prefer the way they try to force people to do things, and I know that's my perception of it, which is reflecting in defiance because then they come back with “I don't want to be forced,” and now they’re telling me that I’M pushing because I'm trying to do more like what the successful people are doing.
I know I'm moving through this because this is my process and it’s taking me where I want to be, which is a huge step, because before I got so tore up in it. I know it’s just my perception. I enjoy lots of aspects of this job, but I don't enjoy the way it feels like you're trying to force somebody into doing something. Then I come back to “I can create without having to do that,” but then I get frustrated with the people on the phone because they're trying to force them, and I’ve got myself into this circle again. (Laughs)
So I’m trying to decide what to do. Do I want to change again, which brings its own set of beliefs, which I recognize that I don't want to keep jumping from one to one to one. Part of me says it doesn't matter what you sell, you’re going to come up against competition and people thinking that you’re being a salesman. It’s like okay, is it time to get out of sales altogether? I just want to be happy, and I'm making myself nuts every time I try to switch and be happy.
(Emotionally) I want to be happy every day, and I know that going through this is what's going to get me there. I guess part of my process is I have to get so frustrated with it until it pushes me into the next enlightening part of it or something. It’s like I have to drive myself nuts before I let myself learn, and I want to make that easier.
ELIAS: I am understanding. It is not that you HAVE to or that your personality REQUIRES that of you. It is very familiar to you. This is a pattern that you have established throughout your focus of pushing yourself and pushing and pushing, to the point where you, figuratively speaking, become broken, and at that point you give up. And when you give up, information comes to you, and you understand, and you generate changes. This is not the manner that you “have to” move in; it has been effective for you previously, but it also is somewhat exhausting.
TERRI: Very, which is why I think I’m tired all the time. I keep trying not to concentrate on the lack of energy, and saying I have enough energy to create what I want to create today, but I feel the underlying exhaustion. I just want to lay down and sleep.
ELIAS: I will express to you once again, it requires much more energy to push than it does to allow.
TERRI: I don't think I realize when I'm pushing. I understand what you're saying, but should I just leave sales all together? I just don't know.
ELIAS: What you have expressed to myself in this conversation are many examples of how you are pushing and why you are exhausting yourself: the constant questioning, the underlying expressions that you are aware of but you override them, which is not unusual. Many, many, many individuals do this, and it creates conflict, confusion and fatigue.
In your own expression, you identified that there are expressions in relation to property and in relation to your children that concern you, but to emphasize that to yourself you incorporated the nightmares. The nightmares are more accurate, for they are expressing the intensity of that energy that you are holding. They are offering you the example. You express to myself in your questioning in relation to your employment. You express in one aspect you like one element of it but you dislike another element of it. That element that you dislike is becoming a constant, but once again you are overriding it.
Overriding is different than ignoring. Ignoring is an action in which your attention is entirely removed from a subject. Overriding is a different action, for in that, your attention is diverted, but there is an element of your attention that is consistently directed to the subject but you choose to incorporate actions to override that. As an example, this is what you do with the element of the employment that you do not like.
An individual can incorporate a physical pain, such as a pain within their back, and they may incorporate a schedule for their day. They are aware that the pain is present, but they may override that in generating actions regardless that they are experiencing the pain. The actions that they incorporate within their day may actually increase the pain, but they will do those actions regardless and not listen to their body consciousness, for they are overriding their own message.
In this, I am not expressing to you to continue in this employment or to not continue in it. What I am expressing to you is that it is important that you allow yourself to view your choices and enact them, rather than merely moving in the black and white and thinking of them – rather than incorporating merely the thinking, “Should I continue? Should I stop? Should I change?” Allow yourself to stop, be present in the moment, refocus in association with what you are actually doing and not with what other individuals are doing: What are you doing and how are you doing it?
TERRI: I thought I was doing that with going on appointments and trying to stay with what I want and not what they're saying and get caught up with what I think they need. I don't know, am I reading into their energy, or am I just trying to put my beliefs on their business? I'm so confused. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Offer an example.
TERRI: Like I went into a plumbing place the other day, and the lady said we’ll be retiring, we're selling everything off, we only take one credit card or two a month, and we’re going out of business. Then the lady on the phone kept trying to make me push her into doing a contract with her, and I don't want to be that person. (Emotionally) She didn't go through with it, but I don't want to go to every appointment like this.
ELIAS: What do you want to do?
TERRI: (Emotionally) I don't know. I don't know if I want to stay in sales, because I don't want to fight with people every day. But they have to buy what I'm selling, and if they don't then I get sucked into this circle of I'm not making any money. Part of me says making sales is the way to have unlimited income, so I keep putting myself through this, thinking it’s the only way to get to where I want to be financially, I think is what it is.
ELIAS: And there is your difficulty. For as I have expressed previously, you can generate money in relation to any action; therefore, sales is not the only manner in which you can generate significant amounts of money. It is what is familiar to you.
But let me express to you, my friend, you are not a statue. You are a human being individual, and as such, you change. You are continuously changing. Your preferences change; your energy changes. You continuously offer yourself more and more information, and THAT generates changes, and it also influences your preferences. And, I would suggest that you allow yourself a time framework in which you can genuinely evaluate what your preferences are, and perhaps you may discover that some of the directions that you have moved yourself into, for they are familiar, are not actually your preferences. That creates another complication, for that sets you in motion to be pushing.
TERRI: I think I know what my preferences are, but I just feel so stuck that the only way to get most of what I want is to do outside sales, because I don't want to feel trapped into having to be in a place at a certain place every day and stay there until a certain time every day. I feel like with outside sales you feel like you're the owner but you're not, because now I've really gotten myself into a place where I'm under somebody's thumb constantly during the day. It was like that before, too, but I kept trying to minimize it with the sunrooms, even though I had to check in constantly, so I keep showing myself what I don't enjoy.
ELIAS: That is significant
TERRI: And I keep thinking that I have something that I don't. I keep thinking that I have all this freedom, and I don't. I keep thinking about going to a place to work, then when I think about it I feel trapped. Just when I think about it I feel like I'm in a trap and I wouldn't be able to get out of there and I have to be there, someone’s always like… Like the account I was at this morning, the girl was supposed to be there at 10:15, and at 10:16 he's like, “She's late.”
I don't want to feel like that either, and I’ve felt like that for years, so I guess I just don't know where the happy medium is. I showed myself other options with calling a car dealership the other day, and I really liked the energy there, but I don't want to work six days a week for eleven hours a day. I don't want to do that. I don't know. I know I'm not happy.
ELIAS: And in this, remember the shock wave. Your energy extends out from you. You are the source, and it extends out from you in every direction, and it pulls to you whatever matches it, just as an enormous magnet. Therefore –
TERRI: But I feel like I’m bouncing up and down. I wanted to create paying off my credit card and then using the checks so I could get rid of the finance charges, and I didn't think I could do it. It seems like I accomplish so easily when I say, “Can I do that?” and it just happens and everything fell into place and I did. So, there are times when I'm happy.
ELIAS: Correct!
TERRI: So I feel like the shock wave keeps going back and forth in a frenzy. It’s like you're happy, you're not happy; you have abundance, you don't have abundance. It keeps going from one extreme to the other, one extreme to the other, and it IS exhausting. I'm exhausted!
ELIAS: I very much understand. And this is the point: It is not a matter of extremes; it is a matter of balancing and paying attention to your energy and recognizing when your energy is beginning to move in that direction that you do not want.
TERRI: And I think I do. I notice it. I know when I'm in a moment where… Like this morning: I was like, “I'm going to go to Ben’s, and I'm going to trust that whatever happens this morning I'm going to end up here on time, and it’s going to create that perfectly.” And yesterday I was like, “They didn't give him the walking pack and they didn't get him set up, and he’s making such a big deal out of it.” So I realigned my perceptions this morning and thought, “Okay, it's no big deal. These are things that can be easily fixed. I'm going to go there, I'm going to easily fix them, I’m going to have a good time there,” and I did that, and it was okay. So I thought I WAS paying attention, but I don't know. Do I slip into the other extreme and don't realize it, or I do realize it and don't know what to do about it?
ELIAS: Once again, this is the question associated with overriding. It is not that you are unaware –
TERRI: Because I’m very aware.
ELIAS: Yes. It is that you override.
TERRI: So this morning I overrode –
ELIAS: No. No. I am acknowledging you in that action that you incorporated. But you do that, and then you allow yourself to react to other individuals’ expressions.
TERRI: Right, which is where I started yesterday, and I caught myself.
ELIAS: That is the point, is recognizing when you are moving in that direction of allowing other individuals’ expressions or extremes to influence you into also moving in extremes.
TERRI: Like the appointment I just came from, he started saying that I was pushing, and then when he got off the phone with my boss I changed my energy, which changed his energy. And I knew that, and I knew that I did that.
ELIAS: You are excessively questioning yourself. That creates a very volatile energy. This is the reason that it so very significant to allow yourself to relax, to acknowledge your own comfort and your own satisfaction now, rather than continuing to plan every movement that you are about to generate – allowing yourself to genuinely relax and acknowledge yourself and acknowledge what you are accomplishing.
You express to me in this moment, “I did accomplish. I did do this.” But previously in the conversation you are generating this agitation and questioning: “I do not know what to do; I do not know what I am doing.” You DO know, and you ARE doing, but you immediately discount that rather than genuinely focusing upon what you have accomplished.
TERRI: But I feel like I have moments when I genuinely –
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. I would agree. But the point is to practice that continuously, to be genuinely recognizing, “Yes, I did this, I accomplished this, and it is significant.”
TERRI: That’s what I thought I did with paying off the credit card and making that work. I thought I did genuinely...
ELIAS: Yes, but… Do you see that in an action such as that you will acknowledge yourself, for you view that to be enormous? That is significant, and that is worthy of your acknowledgment, for in your perception and in your association that is large, and therefore it warrants an acknowledgment of your accomplishment. An action such as you engaged this morning in your association is NOT large; therefore, it may warrant a brief acknowledgment, but it will not be acknowledged in the manner of the large accomplishment.
What you are not understanding is that they are all the same in energy. It is merely your association that one action is more significant than another action, and they are not. The energy is the same; therefore, the accomplishment that you generated this morning is equally as significant as the accomplishment with the card, for the energy is the same that is being projected.
This is what is so significant to understand, for this is the point of what I have been expressing in relation to overriding: not acknowledging the significance of these actions that you are accomplishing and that you are doing as BEING important and significant.
TERRI: Well, I thought that getting up and cleaning my house this morning was pretty important and significant.
ELIAS: Each of these actions are the indicators of how you are projecting energy and therefore what type of energy you will draw to you.
TERRI: So cleaning my house this morning and feeling good about that, I drew good energy back. I guess I think that in doing this enough that it should be making more of a difference and it’s not. I acknowledge myself for doing it a lot more lately, but in my mind I guess I'm not seeing big enough returns for it. With the real estate deal, I thought I was in a really good place of recognizing abundance and realizing that I had all the money out there that I could just draw it back to myself, and nothing came back. (Laughs) I completely pushed it away, and I just –
ELIAS: But that is a concept.
TERRI: What was the concept?
ELIAS: That you incorporate all of this money out there and that you will draw it back to yourself. This is a concept that you have generated; it is not necessarily what you are experiencing.
TERRI: Well, obviously, because I don't have it. (Laughs) But I did the real estate deal, and I should have gotten paid for it, and it should have been a no-brainer because he had so much invested into it. I don't understand –
ELIAS: And “should, should, should, should:” you should, he should, they should, and all of those “shoulds” in relation to yourself, in relation to other individuals. You are not projecting the type of energy that you want to project.
TERRI: Well, how could I have projected that? I mean I tried not to think about it, that it just would happen because it always happened before.
ELIAS: It is not a matter of what you are thinking. It is a matter of what you are thinking, doing and experiencing – thinking, doing, feeling.
TERRI: Right, which is why I've been listening to that session over and over again. So I was thinking that that real estate deal was coming to the time that it was closing, so the doing was –
ELIAS: And were you relaxed?
TERRI: Well, no, because I wanted to make sure that it was going to happen.
ELIAS: Correct.
TERRI: But was it something that I was picking up on, knowing that there was going to be a problem with it? Was I picking that up?
ELIAS: You were anticipating. It is not, in your terms, what is “out there;” it is what is “in here” that is projecting out there.
TERRI: Okay, well, I've sold real estate for years and had expectations that the deal would go to closing and I'd get a paycheck and it did. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And you trusted that.
TERRI: Right, and this one I trusted because it was a new home and he had over $20,000 down.
ELIAS: Remember: Your energy projects in every direction, and all is interconnected. There are many expressions within you recently that you are not trusting, that you are not satisfied with. You are attempting – and I am greatly acknowledging of that – and you are altering in increments, and I am greatly acknowledging of that also. But you have been incorporating a time framework in which you are generating in many directions struggles, which reinforce questioning of yourself rather than trusting yourself. And in that questioning of yourself, you create experiences that you are confused with, that you do not understand or that you do not want.
Allow yourself to genuinely evaluate the components within you when you accomplish. When you accomplish, you accomplish quite easily. One of the strongest components in that is that when you accomplish, you set an intention and you do it. You do not question it, you merely do it, and you are successful. That is trusting. It is not an elusive expression; it is not a difficult expression; it is the lack of questioning. And in many, many, many experiences within your life, you have accomplished and generated considerable successes, and in each success, the common factor was that you merely allowed yourself to do it, and you did not question it.
Yes, that can be expressed and viewed as generating expectations, but expectations in a manner that is not opposing, in a manner that is unquestioning of yourself and of your abilities. When you begin to question, that energy changes.
TERRI: So what do I do when I start doing that?
ELIAS: First of all, move your attention to the now, to the moment, to the present. Recognize that most of your questioning is in relation to what you anticipate futurely or what you are recalling of past events. Move your attention to the present, to the moment, and recognize in the moment, “This is my point of power, for this is the point in the moment that I generate choices – not tomorrow, not yesterday, not five minutes from now, but now, in this moment, is my point of choice.”
TERRI: So when I've been doing this relaxation exercise have I been relaxing and being in the moment?
ELIAS: Yes.
TERRI: So I should just do that all day?
ELIAS: (Laughs) You will incorporate moments in which you are not paying attention – every individual does. You will incorporate time frameworks in which you are generating somewhat of an automatic pilot – every individual does. But the more you practice and allow yourself to genuinely pull your attention into the present, the easier it becomes and the more empowered you become, for that IS your point of choice.
(Pause) And when I suggested that you generate an evaluation of what are your actual preferences in any direction, in this also I would suggest that you generate an evaluation of what you are uncomfortable with; and in evaluating what you are uncomfortable with, note to yourself what you tolerate, what you accommodate – [Conversation in the background about moving a car]
TERRI: I'm sorry, I have to go move my car. Our time's up anyway, so thank you, but I have to go do this before they tow my car. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Very well, my friend.
TERRI: Those are my choices. (Laughs) Thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
[Session 2241, “Relaxation Exercise”]
Copyright 2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.