Associations and Attachments
Topics:
“Associations and Attachments”
“Resentment Is Like a Poisonous Weed”
“Perceiving and Reflecting the Threat of Not Being Validated”
“’Now’ Feelings and ‘Then’ Feelings
“How to Dismantle Associations”
Wednesday, August 22, 2012 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Nuno (Lystell)
ELIAS: Good morning!
NUNO: Good morning. We finally connect.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And what shall we discuss, my friend?
NUNO: Well, I thought we could start with the basics, like my essence name.
ELIAS: Very well. Essence name: Lystell, L-Y-S-T-E-L-L.
NUNO: Lystell: interesting. Is that feminine?
ELIAS: It can be either, but in actuality more commonly male.
NUNO: Ah. And thought or emotional orientation?
ELIAS: And your impression?
NUNO: Oh, my impression. Emotional?
ELIAS: Yes.
NUNO: And new soul or old soul?
ELIAS: I would express in between. (Laughs)
NUNO: Interesting. And the last one, just to get all the details: the family of consciousness, if that's the right term?
ELIAS: Correct, and your impression?
NUNO: Sumari?
ELIAS: Belonging, yes. And what would your impression be as to your alignment in this focus?
NUNO: Ah. I'm not sure. I don't know what that means, exactly.
ELIAS: The family that you are belonging to would express qualities in a consistent but somewhat underlying manner. The family that you are aligning with would be different, for you align with different families in each focus of attention. The belonging-to family is constant, but this allows you to express different qualities in each focus. Therefore, the alignment family would be expressing the qualities of that family in a more obvious or more overt manner in each particular focus. In this, I would express that your alignment in this focus is Gramada.
NUNO: Okay, thank you. (Slight pause) Shall we continue?
ELIAS: Yes!
NUNO: Okay. The main reason I want to talk to you, actually, is about a health condition that I've had for many years. It is elevated blood pressure, and I’d like to go into detail on why I developed this, why did I create this. I'm also taking medication for it that I would very much like not to have to take, and so I would like some advice, if possible, on what I can do to eliminate this condition.
ELIAS: Very well. Let me inquire of you to begin with, what directions have you already engaged with this physical manifestation?
NUNO: You mean in terms of what physical actions I've taken?
ELIAS: Yes.
NUNO: I've tried meditation; it does help, but it's, you know, temporary. I've had discussions on this from another essence, Kris. We were actually talking with Mary about Kris, and Kris suggested a bunch of herbal things, and to me that seems just like, you know, more belief systems.
I’ve basically thought a lot about this. I've kind of asked myself why or how, and I'm really very stumped on this. I mean, I've asked for help in a dream state, for example; I've never recalled any information from the dream state that even touches on the subject.
ELIAS: And when would you express was this manifestation developed?
NUNO: In physical time?
ELIAS: Yes.
NUNO: Approximately 1996 or ‘97, somewhere around there.
ELIAS: Very well.
Now; momentarily attempt presently to recall, what were you engaging at that time? What were you involved with, what were you doing, what was occurring around you, and what types of relationships, or not, were you engaged with?
NUNO: Well, that's pretty simple. I mean, I know the answer to that. I was engaged in a new business. I had a lot of interpersonal conflicts with other people. My focus on my energy was very intense on that business with the other people involved in the business, and like I say, there was a lot of conflict between me and the other people involved in that.
ELIAS: Very well. Let me stop you at that point and inquire what types of conflict were being engaged.
NUNO: It was along the lines of, I had very certain ideas about what needed to be done, how to do it, and I just wanted to do it. And the other people, the feeling I was getting at the time was that they were interfering with that, that they were, you know, getting in my way, that what they wanted to do was not what I wanted to do. It was mostly things like that.
ELIAS: Now; since that time framework, what have you noticed that would be similar types of expressions?
NUNO: What I feel now is that there's two components to this, and I'm not sure how to relate it. One is anger and resentment, the other is fear – fear of, you know, various things. They both seem to increase the symptoms.
ELIAS: Very well. Now, let me express one more question, and that would be: Do you recall other time frameworks in your lifetime, in younger ages, in which you felt these expressions of anger and resentment and fear?
NUNO: I don't recall specifically, but I have a feeling that there probably were, and it’s certainly fear. In my youth, the main theme, if you wish, was more having to do with discounting myself, feeling inferior to others, that kind of thing,
ELIAS: Very much in conjunction with the anger and resentment aspect. They are very closely associated, for in many, many, many situations, when an individual is feeling or perceiving themself in a manner of not being adequate or being less than or that they are discounting themselves, it does create fear, and in many situations, it does create a situation in which the individual will express anxiety, anger, resentment in relation to that fear.
Now in this, I have expressed information in regard to associations. Are you aware of this?
NUNO: No.
ELIAS: Very well. Associations are evaluations that you generate in relation to any experience.
Now; some associations are different from others. Associations – or many associations – that are formed in the time framework that includes ages from birth THROUGH – not to, but through – adolescence, the associations that are generated within that time framework of an individual's lifetime are different from associations that they generate, generally speaking, throughout the rest of their life. For, within that time framework, the individual has not yet formed attachments.
Attachments are subjects and ideas that generate a type of guideline, in a manner of speaking, for how you act, how you interact, what you do, how you relate to certain situations and subject matters, and these attachments form very strong directing forces in each individual's life and experience, and they are very influencing. But they are not developed until an individual has moved beyond adolescence. Therefore, what you would term to be early adulthood is the time framework in which you begin developing attachments. Before that time framework, there are no attachments, and therefore the individual's perception is very different, and the individual is expressing much more from genuine self.
Now in that, this is the reason that individuals are, in a manner of speaking, more vulnerable to outside sources and influences, for you are interacting with those outside influences and sources without the buffer or the shield of attachments. And in that, experiences can generate associations that the body consciousness holds in memory but in a different capacity of memory than other memories. It holds them very surfacely. Therefore, those associations are very active and are very influencing – although, generally speaking, most individuals do not pay attention to them. They do not recognize them, they do not identify them, and they do not pay attention to them. And this is another reason that they are so very influencing.
In this, the aspect of developing an association that is so affecting is that an association is not only an evaluation of an experience. It also, in addition to that evaluation, is expressed in a judgment that this experience is either good or bad. And you do this with every experience that you generate, but some experiences within that time framework in which you have not developed attachments yet are perceived as a threat to your genuine self, your genuine expression.
[When] you generate an experience, generally speaking it will involve some outside source, and in that, you will generate an evaluation, “This is not a safe expression. This is a genuine threat to me, to who I am and how I express myself.”
Now; in those ages before you develop attachments, generally speaking, most individuals do not engage an actual thought process in relation to the development of these associations; they are very automatic. But they are also very powerful, and they continue to be influencing throughout your lifetime, unless you recognize them, define them and allow yourself to disempower them. And how you do that is you define what the association is and you begin to allow yourself to recognize how many different directions that one association has influenced you throughout your lifetime. And in many situations, the influences in themselves are somewhat subtle, but they are also simultaneously very obvious – but they are so obvious that you do not pay attention to them. It is literally a matter of the subject is directly before your face, and it is so close to you that you cannot see it.
Now; let me express to you, the expression of resentment is, in a manner of speaking, very similar to a poison. It is very much likened to a weed in a garden, and this weed is very strong and will choke out all of the other lovely elements in the garden that you actually enjoy or like or want. This weed will interrupt them all and will choke them out. Therefore, this is an important aspect to address to. It can be very affecting and very damaging. It is very limiting to you. It limits you tremendously.
Now; in this, it is also very powerful, and therefore it SEEMS that an expression such as resentment would be very difficult to neutralize and to dissipate, but in actuality that may not necessarily be correct. For, when you understand what is prompting the resentment, it is easier not to automatically express it.
Now; resentment springs from what you perceive to be a threat, and that threat is that you are not being witnessed, and that you are not important enough or valuable enough to be witnessed.
What is witnessing? Witnessing is an expression that you ALL want and actually actively seek in physical reality, for physical reality, as a component of the physical properties of it itself, expresses an element of separation. You, as consciousness, automatically express connection by nature. But an aspect of that connection seems to be dampened, in a manner of speaking, by the actual physicality of your reality, which promotes an aspect of separation. You occupy bodies, which in themselves generate an element of separation. In this, the expression of witnessing is your validation of connection, even within physical reality and separation.
Witnessing is the action of genuinely seeing and acknowledging the existence, the presence and the value of another individual. As a small one, expressing from genuine self, you automatically do that, and you also automatically are open to receiving that type of energy, that acknowledgement, for you deserve it.
Generally speaking, at some point in most individuals’ developments, actions begin to occur in relation to outside sources – generally speaking meaning other individuals – in which there is a change, and it begins to be expressed to you that you do NOT deserve for merely existing, but that now you only deserve when you EARN that deserving. Which is ENTIRELY incorrect, but that is the mass belief, and therefore it is also a mass expression.
Now; this is also an expression that leads you in the direction of developing attachments.
In this, expressions are generated in which the individual will perceive them as a threat to their genuine self. For, the individual will incorporate an experience, as I express generally with other individuals, and will assess in their own perception that whatever they themselves are doing is somehow unacceptable or not good enough – and there it begins.
Now; I would express that the association that you have developed is concerning not perceiving yourself as being witnessed, that other individuals do not see you clearly or genuinely and do not value what you are doing or expressing, in your perception. And you validate that by believing that other individuals do not value you for they are not listening. And how that translates further is that if they WERE listening, they would understand what you were expressing, and they would move in a direction of cooperation with you.
But – let me express clearly to you, you are already continuously projecting this energy of not being validated, therefore that is what you will reflect. You are already projecting that energy of not being seen, of not being heard, and therefore that is what you will reflect. And the more you push in that direction, the stronger the reflection becomes. And that creates conflict, and it perpetuates this expression of resentment.
The resentment is springing from “I know I am valuable. Why do you not know it? Why do you not acknowledge that?” But inwardly, that association is generating a continuous output of energy that you are projecting questioning, and doubting, and expecting to not be heard, to not be seen, to not be valued to the extent, and that is reinforced by that attachment that became developed in relation to what you must earn to deserve it, rather than you deserve it merely for the factor that you exist, which is correct.
You deserve whatever you choose, whatever you want, whatever direction you want to engage, simply for the factor that you exist and you are breathing, NOT because you earned it.
Now; in this, these associations that are generated before attachments, as they continue through your lifetime, can become very strong and very influencing, and can even influence development of physical manifestations, but they are not necessarily valid, and that is the important factor.
And how you determine whether they are valid or not is to genuinely begin paying attention to your experiences and your interactions, and when you begin to feel those expressions of anger, or resentment, or fear, to allow yourself to pause and question, “What is motivating this?”
Remember: Feelings are signals. Feelings are signals that are generated in relation to emotional communications. Emotional communications are not feelings. They are a statement as to what you are doing in the moment, and you generate the feelings to alert you that there is a communication present, that there is a statement that you are generating with yourself, identifying what you are doing in the moment.
Now; the confusing aspect of feelings is that there are two types of motivating elements, or instigating elements, to feelings. One are “now” feelings; the other are “then” feelings. “Then” feelings are attached to associations. They are not present. “Now” feelings are associated with whatever you are engaging now, and it is very easy to distinguish between a “now” feeling and a “then” feeling.
“Now” feelings do not linger. They change, and they change very quickly. If you are engaging an action that in the now is, let us say, frustrating to you: Let us say you are engaging a project and you are involved with a particular point in this project, and you are not quite accomplishing what you want to accomplish and you become frustrated in that moment, and in the next moment another individual approaches you and is expressing some other subject to you. Your attention is immediately diverted to the other individual. That feeling of frustration disappears. It can reappear very quickly once you reengage the project, but in the moment that your attention is diverted, that feeling is gone.
For, “now” feelings change as soon as the subject changes, and it matters not how intense the feeling can be. The moment the subject changes, the feeling changes also. Those are “now” feelings.
“Then” feelings do not necessarily change, and they actually increase. A “then” feeling can build upon itself and continue to be expressed and continue and continue and continue. Therefore, you can feel irritated, you can feel resentment, you can feel fear for hours or even days. That is not a “now” feeling.
“Now” feelings do not linger. And, they do not increase. They're expressed in their intensity in the moment. “Then” feelings do increase, and they are ongoing. Now, this is not to say that they cannot be interrupted; they can, but it is a matter of defining them and paying attention and realizing, “This is not a ‘now’ feeling.”
It is not always even important for you to identify what association the “then” feeling is attached to. It is only important that you define it and recognize it, that it is not a “now” feeling.
Now; this is all very much related to this physical manifestation that you have developed. When you express repeatedly in a particular manner, and very often in relation to associations, the body consciousness begins to develop physical manifestations. The reason the body consciousness does this is twofold.
Initially, it is attempting to alert you, “You are expressing in excessive manner with this particular direction,” and this physical manifestation is to alert you to stop. When you do not stop, the physical manifestation becomes a reflection of that continued projected energy. Therefore, the more you express anxiety, fear, resentment, anger, the more you generate the physical manifestation, for you reinforce it, for the manifestation is now a reflection of what you are projecting.
And what is anger? Anger is that expression that you generate when you perceive that you have no choices. It is different from the expression of being irritated. It may feel very similar, but when you are irritated, you do continue to recognize that you have choices, and irritation in most situations is motivating to express different choices.
Anger is immobilizing, for it is the expression that you perceive you have no choices, therefore you cannot move and you cannot generate a solution to this situation, for you have no choices.
Resentment is the continued expression, the repeat expression of blame – blaming an outside source for not valuing you. That is the expression of resentment, a repeat expression.
And both of these are very automatic, and they are both very much connected with fear.
Now; I would express that there are physical actions that you can also engage. I would most definitely be encouraging you to be defining and evaluating the influences of this association, and in that allowing yourself to pay attention, and when you feel those signals, the feelings, to genuinely allow yourself to pause rather than react.
Pause and question: “Is this a ‘now’ feeling?” It is likely not. If it is a “then” feeling: “What is prompting this?” And the first question is, “What is the threat? What do I perceive is threatening me in this moment?”, not “What is the other individual doing?”, not “What do I want the other individual to do or to stop doing?” [but] “What am I feeling, and what is the threat?”
In that, your attention is immediately diverted from the situation and moved to you, to be evaluating what is threatening and how to empower yourself in that moment – no expression beyond that moment. Pay attention only to that moment. In many situations, merely asking yourself the question, “What is the threat in this moment in relation to what I am feeling?”, identifying that threat is enough. In some situations, it may not quite be enough, but in many situations it is.
When it is a situation that merely identifying the threat isn't enough to dissipate it, there are other actual actions that you can engage that move your attention to allow you to stop engaging reaction – very simple actions such as looking at a clock, or if you wear a watch, look at your watch. Look at any object that offers an identification of TIME.
In addition to looking at a clock, pause and move through the very quick evaluation, “What time is it? What time of day is it? What day is it? What part of the week is it? What part of the month is it? What season is it?”
Asking these questions is very valuable, and it generates several actions simultaneously. First of all, it diverts your attention away from reacting. In addition to that, it generates a message to your body consciousness. Remember: Body consciousness stores memory; therefore, all of those associations are stored in the body consciousness. The one action that the body consciousness does NOT concern itself with is time. Therefore, it in any moment is not necessarily distinguishing between a “now” feeling and a “then” feeling, for it is not concerning itself with time.
Therefore, the action of paying attention to aspects of time generates a communication to the body consciousness automatically, “This is not now.” Pay attention to the time factor related to this feeling without thinking that you are already communicating that to the body consciousness, which begins to dissipate the feeling.
It also, in addition to those aspects, offers you more information. Generally speaking, individuals develop patterns with associations. They are more likely to be expressed at certain times: certain times of the year, certain times of the day, certain times of the week, certain times of the month, for that is a part of the association.
When you generate that evaluation of an experience that you identify as bad or threatening, you also, in a manner of speaking, log when it happened: in the winter, in the middle of the week, in the afternoon, on a Tuesday at three o'clock. You may not objectively remember all of those details, but your body consciousness does, but it does not distinguish the time of those factors between then and now. It will automatically trigger in similar time frameworks.
Therefore also, it offers you information in relation to the physical manifestation becoming more agitated at certain times or less agitated at certain times, which are excellent indicators for you that you may be projecting more at certain time frameworks than at other time frameworks, and therefore reflecting more to yourself at certain times than other times.
These are all important factors in dismantling associations and the influences and affectingness that they generate.
I would also suggest to you, if you are willing, that you begin incorporating a new regimen of yoga. This can be exceptionally helpful. It engages the body consciousness in a different manner than you are accustomed to. It encourages balance. It encourages your attention to be more focused upon you, and therefore you practice focusing your attention upon you without thinking about it. It also allows you to be more in tune with your body consciousness, and therefore you can begin to affect and reverse the physical manifestation. In relation to blood pressure, air flow, lung capacity, heart function, yoga can be an excellent expression to incorporate. It also is very helpful in generally lending to a more balanced state.
But as always, it is your choice. It is my suggestion to you. In this, I would express that you incorporate quite a bit to be engaging. (Laughs)
NUNO: Okay, thank you for that. I have one other question having to do with the physical symptoms. Like I said, one of the things I would like to do is to eliminate the medication. And I would like to know, is the medication something my body has been addicted to, or is my need for it simply a belief system that I believe I need it?
ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend, all that you do involves beliefs. Every expression you engage involves beliefs, and yes, it is a matter of not only your beliefs but what you BELIEVE. Let me express, there is a difference, for what you believe is merely another word for what you trust, for that is the expression of believing, is trusting.
In this, is your body actually physically addicted to the medication? No. Do you believe that the medication is affecting and helpful? Yes, and therefore it is. I would express it is much easier and more effective to change that aspect of what you believe by creating an alternative, a substitute. This is the reason that I suggested the yoga, for generating the attempt to move in a direction of merely expressing to yourself, “Very well, I merely will not believe this any longer,” that is considerably difficult. You can express that to yourself; that is not necessarily to say that it will actually accomplish what you want to accomplish. But when you allow yourself to substitute, or exchange, one action for a different action, it allows you to move your attention to believing or trusting a different action.
[The timer for the session rings]
Presently you are engaging an action of incorporating a medication. You can substitute that action with a different action, which is also engaging your body consciousness, merely engaging it in a different capacity, not with medication but with different actions. And in that, you can more effectively change what you are believing – or what you are trusting – from the medication to yourself and an action that you are generating. Are you understanding?
NUNO: Yes. Very good. Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be offering my energy to you in tremendous encouragement, my friend. You can accomplish. I incorporate no doubt.
In this, I express tremendous encouragement and supportiveness. To you, my friend, in great lovingness and affection, au revoir.
NUNO: Au revoir. Merci beaucoup.
(Elias departs after 1 hour)
Copyright 2012 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.