Stop Following Good Feelings; Tapping into the Mass Anxiety
Topics:
“Stepping Stone to Achieving an Intended Direction”
“Advice for the Next Step”
“Stop Following Good Feelings”
“Tapping into the Mass Anxiety”
“Breathing Exercise for Abdominal Pain”
“Learning to Have a Weak Stomach”
“Hiking to Recover from a Back Injury”
“Supporting Family Members”
Tuesday, April 26, 2022 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Jason (Spensar)
ELIAS: Good morning!
JASON: Hi Elias.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And what shall we discuss, my friend?
JASON: Well, I’m sure we have a lot to talk about. It’s been a while since our last conversation. I wanted to really just go over some of the events in my life and you can feel free to comment—
ELIAS: Very well.
JASON: — in the best way that you feel fit. You know, I don’t really have questions of a technical nature. (Laughs) I just want to share the experiences and really sort of rehash and go over. You know, we’ve done a long journey together and gone through a lot, and I want to thank you for the information, the techniques that you provided to me and I want to share the how I’m using them in my life. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Excellent. Excellent.
JASON: Okay. So one of the big changes more recently is – and one of the reasons that I stopped doing sessions was – I kind of knew what I needed to do but I was… There was something blocking me from making a lot of progress with it. And basically, the situation was I was disappointed with myself in my job situation. I was unemployed for four years and I had a previous great career, and let’s call it a high-status career that looked great, certainly on paper, and that paid a lot of money. And increasingly I felt like I wasn’t able to get back to it, that it was lost, that it was lacking, right? And that was despite all the progress that I was making in other areas, in being more comfortable, in accepting myself more. That was the one that I just didn’t see the solution to. And I think that’s probably common with a lot of people, that there’s always something that you wish was (laughs) better than how you were doing.
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: (Laughs) Interesting way to put it. So one of the things that led to me actually addressing that issue was the recognition of what was my highest desire, what was my strongest desire. And the more I articulated that and focused it, it was, my highest desire has been ever since we started this journey, to live intentionally, to – I’m going to quote your, give you a quote that you gave me back in 2017 or 18, which is: “With knowing and believing and being present, in that combination, my friend, you are invincible and the world is your oyster.”
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very true.
JASON: (Laughs) And so that was my motivation and I realized that whatever my job situation was happening, I was still moving in the direction of my desire. I was still progressing in my desire.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Amazing, isn’t it?
JASON: (Laughs) And so I was still accomplishing.
ELIAS: Even when you don’t know it and you’re not trying.
JASON: Exactly. Exactly.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Congratulations.
JASON: Thank you. And so then, the next thing I decided to do was, I had had so many interviews over the years and so many, what in my views that I viewed as failures, I said, “That is me trying to grasp the past. I’m going to start over. I’m brand new, boom. You know what? What can I do today to move in a direction that I want to move? And I’m not going to…I’m going to try… Well, let’s say I’m not going to hold myself back because I think it’s not good enough.
ELIAS: Congratulations.
JASON: Thank you. And I accepted a position at a local bank. It was part-time. I was making about five percent of what I used to make. It was a position that doesn’t require previous experience, so it’s entry level, but it was a movement forward in a direction. And what that allowed me to do that I was unable to see was it triggered me. It triggered me continuously the first few weeks, in every interaction with family, with friends, with being at the job. Every time I saw on social media where prior colleagues were, the type of jobs they were moving in, it triggered me. And every time I was triggered, I acknowledged it.
ELIAS: And what was it triggering you in?
JASON: Comparing.
ELIAS: Ah.
JASON: Discounting my own accomplishments. But it was very visible. It was obvious and it was almost, in a way, it was like this is good. Because it’s bringing it up where when I was sitting at home in that waiting mode, I might be comfortable but I was avoiding, without realizing it.
ELIAS: Ah.
JASON: Does that make sense, what I’m saying so far?
ELIAS: Most definitely. Yes.
JASON: Okay. And within a few weeks, the comparing stopped. The discounting stopped and I started to enjoy the job. (Both laugh) Then I created—
ELIAS: Then what?
JASON: I created an offer of exactly the job I had wanted, and another job offer that was better than I had wanted and that I didn’t know existed, back in my old field.
ELIAS: I would say congratulations, my friend.
JASON: Thank you. Thank you. And it’s such a… It’s interesting in talking to people like my parents or so, it’s like “You must be so excited,” but it was such a logical process.
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: That it—
ELIAS: Reasonable.
JASON: Say that again?
ELIAS: Reasonable.
JASON: Reasonable, yes. And so it was step after step, and it ended up where I had wanted. And so it wasn’t like… You know, it didn’t feel like winning the lottery or feel like a positive surprise. It was an intentional movement, and so it’s… I’m very happy with it, but it’s… I’m satisfied with it.
ELIAS: Yes. (Jason laughs) And in that, it might be surprising to a degree initially.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: But then when you actually look at the process, when you look at what you’ve done, then it all comes together and then you understand what you were doing and how you were doing it, and what was hindering you and what moved you in the direction of accomplishing what you wanted. But you look at it all as the journey, and you can see how your desire is that engine that is moving you in a direction, even when you don’t realize it. And even though it seems as though you’re moving in a direction that is contrary to what you want, it’s actually not, it’s a stepping stone.
JASON: Right. And that’s how I viewed the position. I viewed it – well, not initially, right? I was initially very triggered, but I was always able to, after I acknowledged the trigger I’d come back and, “You know what this is? A beginning. This is not an endpoint.” This is like you said, a stepping stone. And then I would focus on the aspects of the position that I did like. It’s a very social position. After spending many years at home, I really enjoyed the aspect of just everyday chitchat, so to speak. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Excellent.
JASON: Yeah. Yeah.
ELIAS: In that, I would say that that is precisely it also, chitchat. That you’re not engaging deep conversations with people. You’re not engaging long interactions with people. It’s brief and generally positive. And in that, it gives you the opportunity to be interactive in a manner that is beneficial and that doesn’t require a tremendous amount of energy.
JASON: Right. And it’s fun.
ELIAS: Yes. I would say that what also is significant – and I very much acknowledge you, my friend, for giving yourself that opportunity and for giving yourself permission to do that, because this is something that is a significant obstacle with so many people, is that they look at certain jobs as beneath them.
JASON: Yep.
ELIAS: And they look at the people that are doing those jobs as beneath them. And in that, I would say that many times if the individual actually allowed themself to move in that direction, as you did, they might actually discover that it IS fun and they liked it.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: But oh no, god forbid you would admit that. (Laughs)
JASON: Right. And because you have that built-in pattern that says I should be doing this or I should be doing that, I should be doing better—
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: And so that, you have to move through that.
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. And THAT is a tremendous piece, my friend, because that is a piece that brings you back to that interconnectedness. It allows you to look at yourself and look at what you’re doing and see that you’re making choices and to see what it is that you’re learning from this choice and how it benefits you, but then also to see that interconnectedness. And that’s also a part of what then removes the obstacles in relation to your desire.
JASON: And the experience provides me a blueprint for creating whatever else I want to create. (Laughs)
ELIAS: I would agree. And that is tremendous, my friend. I would say congratulations.
JASON: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are well deserving of it.
JASON: And the ongoing process, it’s not really… There’s not a destination here, it’s a journey. The next position brings new triggers, maybe questions about whether I can do this or whether it’s been so long or… But they’re obviously things that I can acknowledge and address as I move through that process.
ELIAS: Yes. And in that, then you also can move, you’re in a position in which you are expressing that regardless of what the situation or is or what the task is or what the particular job is, that you can learn it. I’m not expressing relearn it. You can learn it new, and therefore then have a fresh perspective on how to engage it, rather than moving in a direction of what you used to do and perhaps then being somewhat rigid in what you knew but what might not be the best use of your talent.
JASON: Okay. So that’s the advice for the next step.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Yes.
JASON: (Laughs) Okay. Thank you. (Laughs) Well, I will do my best to maintain that openness, freshness and willingness. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Ah, excellent. (Laughs) I would be tremendously, tremendously encouraging of you, my friend.
JASON: The other thing that struck—
ELIAS: And—
JASON: Oh. Sorry.
ELIAS: (Inaudible) Continue.
JASON: Well the other thing that sticks out in that process is the importance of changing my environment, which allowed me to get out of this false comfort or (pause) I guess it allowed me to stop avoiding. I’m just curious if there’s anything there that you want to add about the importance of changing the environment, or whether that was incidental to the process.
ELIAS: Oh, it’s very important.
JASON: Okay. I thought it was.
ELIAS: And the biggest reason that it’s important is because it helps you to not follow feelings. And in that, you might not realize that you are following feelings in becoming comfortable, in a manner of speaking, and then complacent.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: And that comfort that can lead you in the direction of complacency is a feeling. And in that, I would say that this is a very important piece, because it’s not only bad feelings, so to speak, that are not good to be following. That’s what everyone thinks. When they think about following feelings, they’re only thinking about bad feelings, uncomfortable feelings. But good feelings can lead you in directions that are equally as non-beneficial. And many times, good feelings will lead you in a direction of not being motivated to change for longer periods of time.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: Because you don’t have any motivation to change anything.
JASON: Right. I can definitely see that.
ELIAS: Everything is fine as it is. And in that also, you don’t define that as following feelings, because the only time you’re following feelings is when it has something to do with something negative – which is entirely incorrect, but that’s how people automatically think. And in that, then they don’t realize that they can be following feelings with good feelings just as much as with bad feelings, and that they can be just as destructive and demotivating.
And in that, this is a significant piece. When you change the environment, it changes what you are paying attention to. That’s the reason that I express that so frequently to people, to do that precise action: change where you are, change your environment. Whether it be in a moment or whether it be in relation to something that engages more time, such as a job. Do something different and change your environment, because it helps you to pay attention differently.
JASON: And the clue, the clue that you may be following the good feelings here and stagnating to a degree is that you’re not entirely satisfied with your situation. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Precisely. Yes. Yes, I agree. And in that, just as with the negative feelings, which I have expressed many times with individuals, with negative feelings people become accustomed to them and there is an element of comfort in that, because it’s familiar. It’s predictable and they know what to do in relation to what they are experiencing, and it’s the same with these feelings. But they’re not happy, they’re not satisfied and that is the same situation with these types of feelings. But they are not tremendously uncomfortable, and therefore you are almost less motivated to change.
JASON: Yep. The other thing that I had to, that I was addressing – this was actually previous, over the last two years let’s say, that was a big deal was a surprise to me, relative to if you had asked me four or five years ago that whether I express a lot of fear, I would have said no. But I had to move through a lot of fear. (Laughs) And I didn’t define it as fear. I called it, I’d call it nervousness maybe.
ELIAS: Ah. And what was the nervousness about?
JASON: The future.
ELIAS: Ah.
JASON: Always about the future. And it just—
ELIAS: And what happened?
JASON: And so, there was a long period of time of really just recognizing my safety and my okayness in the moment, before I was ready to move into that step of trying something new.
ELIAS: I agree. And it can be considerably challenging.
JASON: There seems like there’s a backdrop of—
ELIAS: In that, I very much acknowledge the bravery.
JASON: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
JASON: It seems like there’s this pervasive backdrop of nervousness or anxiety that is probably related to the collective, and you could see it reflected in other people all around.
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: Yeah.
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: And then I could tap into it, and in a moment I could feel it, but I don’t have to remain in it.
ELIAS: Correct. Correct. And especially in relation to a job, that people express a considerable amount of nervousness, anxiety, tension in relation to finding the right job, what they can find, what is available. Age is a factor.
JASON: Yep. Yep.
ELIAS: Environment is a factor. Whether they’re good enough is a factor. I would express that there is a tremendous amount. And then even when they have a job, it continues because then there are the factors of comparing themself with other people and whether they are doing well enough, whether they are doing enough, whether they are accomplishing, whether they will be able to sustain the job and not be fired. It is tremendous how much people question themself.
JASON: (Laughs) Before I get into a little bit more of that, related to my kids—
ELIAS: Ah, yes.
JASON: I wanted to discuss a physical manifestation that I’ve become more aware of, and that. So maybe about a month or two months ago, I developed almost like a charley horse sensation in my mid-section, in my solar plexus, abdomen area. And since then, let’s say it’s been about a month and a half, since then I’ve been, made it my intention to become more aware of how much tension I’m holding in that area, and how much I’m clenching and holding my breath. And—
ELIAS: Excellent.
JASON: Go ahead.
ELIAS: Excellent. What have you noticed?
JASON: Oh my god, it’s insane the amount of pressure and tension that I hold in that area, and that I’ve been successful in relaxing it to a degree, but it very quickly builds up again. And it’s not easy to relax it for any degree of time, but I am able to be successful in that direction, but it’s taking time and it’s going to continue to take time to move in that direction. So I had a few questions related to that, the first being: is this a new manifestation for me or is this something that’s been going on for a long time?
ELIAS: The latter.
JASON: Okay. I suspected as much, even though it maybe got more severe in recent years?
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: Okay.
ELIAS: But I would also say it hasn’t gotten tremendously more severe in recent time framework. It’s simply that you were less busy and therefore you noticed it more.
JASON: You’re right. Something else would have been more important if I was at work.
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: Okay. The other thing that seems to be related is I’ve had symptoms of IBS or irritable bowel syndrome or diarrhea my entire adult life I believe almost, and that hasn’t been happening as I’ve been relaxing that area. Is that related?
ELIAS: Congratulations. (Jason laughs) I would say that I very much am acknowledging of you. And yes, I acknowledge also that it’s challenging and difficult to change that, because it’s such an automatic habit and because you’ve been doing it for a long time. And therefore, moving in a direction of not doing it is challenging.
Now; what I would say to you is, it can be very helpful to be engaging breathing exercises, which you can do very quickly, and also to be engaging a repeated relaxation exercise that you do periodically throughout the day. But you can do the breathing also periodically through the day.
I would say one exercise that is very effective and that you can do at any time and it doesn’t require a lot of time – you can do it within less than two minutes – and that is simply an exercise in which you focus your attention on your breathing. You breathe in and you visualize the breath coming in and going down through your throat, down. Don’t visualize it going to your lungs. Visualize it going down your throat and into your heart. And then your heart absorbing all of the tension and toxic energy from your solar plexus, and you breathe that energy out.
JASON: Okay. I will be doing that. (Laughs) I did it just now.
ELIAS: I would say that this can be very, very effective. You’re breathing that energy into your heart. You’re breathing out all of that energy that is toxic and is tension. And it’s simple and relatively quick.
JASON: Okay. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
JASON: I’m curious. My family on my dad’s side has this. They always talk about us having weak stomachs (laughs) Because of that, my example would be for me symptoms I had, but other members of my family, are they, is it a similar pattern of holding that tension?
ELIAS: Yes. (Jason laughs) Expectation and obligation, which creates pressure and tension. And in that, yes, this is something that is common within your family. This is where they hold it.
JASON: Very interesting. Very interesting.
ELIAS: They have learned it.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: And let me tell you that you don’t realize that you actually do learn those types of things from your family, but you do.
JASON: Right. Obviously.
ELIAS: It isn’t something that they talk about. It isn’t something that they’re actively teaching you in words, but they are actually teaching you in action continuously AND reinforcing that, just in case you don’t quite understand as you’re developing, as you’re growing up, they will express that you have a weak stomach.
JASON: Right, because you’re having symptoms of not digesting your food correctly or diarrhea like I mentioned, so on.
ELIAS: Therefore, it’s reinforced with that identification.
JASON: Interesting. Okay. I’m actually very excited to implement that exercise, because it’s really… Yeah. I’m excited to do that. (Laughs) I’ve made that much more important than I have in the past. (Laughs)
ELIAS: What I would say to you, my friend, is this is excellent because eventually you can pass that on to your children.
JASON: Mm. Unfortunately, it might be too late. (Laughs)
ELIAS: It is never too late.
JASON: It’s never too late?
ELIAS: Correct. Because THAT implies that there’s no changing or reversing something, and that’s not true.
JASON: Oh I know, but you know, if I look at my daughter and I think this is, I’m the same way, and the next part of the session is to talk about family and you know the anxiety levels are so high. And it seems like when I talk to other parents or my wife talks to other parents with similar teenaged daughters that the level of anxiety just seems extraordinarily high. I certainly don’t recall anything like that, although I’ve probably been in a pattern more of avoiding rather than to deal with that anxiety, and so it wouldn’t be visible to me because I was focused on avoiding it (laughs) or hiding it. (Pause)
ELIAS: And it’s a combination of not only you, but also her mother.
JASON: Right. Right. She stresses continuously about my kids’ social lives, about whether they’re doing enough, whether they have enough friends, whether they’re active enough or whether they should be more taking the initiative more, where when I look at my kids, particularly from a social perspective, I mean I think both of them are doing better than I was at their age and so I’m not concerned.
ELIAS: I understand. But just as you learned to have a weak stomach, I would say that your daughter has learned to stress.
JASON: Hm. (Chuckles) I’m just thinking about a funny interaction I had with her the other day. Because my kids always go to, if they have to complain about anything, they go to the wife because I don’t give them the satisfaction (laughs) or the right response. (Laughs) My daughter was stressing about being late for some event and I was like, “You just take the opportunity to look around you. Notice that you’re fine right now. There’s nothing actually bothering you besides what you’re telling yourself in your head.” (Laughs) And she was like, “I’m going to throw something at you!” (Both laugh)
ELIAS: I would say that (laughs) perhaps the next time, you might tell her, “Go ahead and throw something, if it’s going to make you feel better.”
JASON: (Laughs) Okay. (Laughs) That’s great.
ELIAS: “It might make you later, because you have to engage another action before you leave.” (Laughs)
JASON: (Laughs) That is correct. (Laughs) A question about my parents. So, my dad’s Alzheimer’s has continued to progress, as these things tend to do, and he’s gotten very feeble. And it strikes me, it seems like he’s probably getting close to disengaging and I wanted to see if you would confirm that?
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: Okay.
ELIAS: I will qualify and express that that is the most likely, but it’s not absolute.
JASON: Okay. And I know these situations can linger for a long time.
ELIAS: Yes, and I would say that it’s likely that he won’t, but that could change.
JASON: It’s likely that he won’t disengage? Or that he won’t change?
ELIAS: No, it’s that he won’t linger.
JASON: Oh, won’t linger. Okay. Yeah. You can tell he’s lost interest in (chuckles) what he’s doing, or his situation. So, any advice on how to best support my mother? For me. Any advice for me, how to be supportive for my mother?
ELIAS: (Pause) I would say presently to first of all listen to her. In addition to that, ask questions such as, “What do you need?” or “Can I help? And if I can, what is the best manner in which YOU think I can help? How would you tell me to help you?” Therefore, ask those kinds of questions. Let her be telling you what she needs or what she wants.
JASON: And what if it’s difficult to actually provide that?
ELIAS: If you can’t, then express that you can’t and ask if there is anything else that you can do.
JASON: Okay.
ELIAS: And—
JASON: Because she wants to see the kids a lot more, but they live ten, eleven hours away and the kids’ schedules are pretty…
ELIAS: And in that, that’s not something that you have control over.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: And if she expresses something such as that, then redirect and express the question in relation to what YOU can do.
JASON: Okay. Because I can be more flexible.
ELIAS: That’s not what YOU can do. That’s what she wants from them, and that is not answering the question. Therefore, ask her questions that are in the direction of what YOU can do to be helpful. But other than that, I would say genuinely listen a lot, or as much as you can, and—
JASON: And when you say listen—
ELIAS: — ask questions about what concerns her. That encourages her to share more. Ask questions about what bothers her or what she’s concerned about or what she’s afraid about or what she’s worried about. Then ask questions about her: what is she doing? What is she eating? What is she… Is she engaging with friends of hers? Does she engage a church? That was a question.
JASON: For me? No, she doesn’t really engage a church, but she does a lot. She’s social and so she lives in a neighbourhood where, unlike my dad, she participates in clubs and different activities.
ELIAS: Ask her about those things. Ask her what she’s doing in relation to that. Ask her what she’s doing in relation to other people that she engages with. Ask a lot of questions, and listen to what her answers are.
JASON: Okay. Okay, I can do that. And moving on to my son, so about a year ago he had an injury that hurt his back, and it’s been a long, long recovery. He fractured something. And he used to be very athletic and active, and after a year of… He’s still doing physical therapy, but his back is largely better, or seems to be better, but he’s been inactive for a year and worse than that was that he, a number of times during his injury recovery process, he would try to do something and he would reinjure his back worse. So he developed a hesitancy, like lots of people with back injuries I’m sure, a hesitancy to want to do stuff for fear that he would be reinjured. And so now he’s out of shape (laughs) but he wants to do stuff, and he complains all the time about how sore he is. If he goes, plays basketball for an hour, he’s got shin splints, his arm hurts, his this hurts and that. How can I be best supportive of him during this process?
ELIAS: (Pause) Do you incorporate weekends off from your job presently?
JASON: Yeah, I definitely get time off.
ELIAS: Is that time off on the same days?
JASON: It can be, yes.
ELIAS: Do you have somewhere near where you live that you can be hiking?
JASON: Very much so. And in fact, we can take weekend trips up to Vermont where we have a place, and do that as well.
ELIAS: I would suggest that you engage frequently – if you can, once a week; if you can’t, perhaps once every two weeks – that you engage hiking together. And I would say to be engaging the hike for at the very least an hour. It would be possible if you would be hiking for more than that, but if he will only go for an hour, that is acceptable.
JASON: Yeah. His response to requests for hiking are usually, “I can’t!” Because of some reason, he can’t.
ELIAS: But he can. And in that, I would say be positive, keep your tone right (Jason laughs) and express to him, “We’ll move slowly and we’ll choose an easy trail.” And don’t take no for an answer. I would say that if he moves in a direction of engaging even light hiking once a week, it will definitely be helpful.
JASON: Okay. He actually did express something. We haven’t done it in a few years, but we used to go mountain biking occasionally, and so he actually brought that up, that he would be open to that.
ELIAS: Ah! I would agree. That is another excellent exercise. Biking is an exercise that is I would say second only to swimming. It’s an excellent, excellent exercise.
JASON: Well, the way we do it is probably not as healthy (both laugh) as the way—
ELIAS: How so? (Laughs)
JASON: We do downhill mountain biking, which is you take the ski, the chairlift on a ski mountain up and you ride the trails down. It’s very physical, because the physical control of a heavy bike, it uses every muscle in your body, but it’s not as like a conditioning exercise for your lungs as much. But it is very physical.
ELIAS: And that doesn’t matter. I would say that it still is an exercise that is excellent and will be helpful.
JASON: Okay. I’m looking forward to that.
ELIAS: Excellent.
JASON: All right. And I had mentioned my wife and her stress over her children’s social lives. How can I best be supportive of my wife?
ELIAS: (Pause) I would say that the best manner to be supportive of her is to express that you understand and that you acknowledge how much she cares and loves them, and that that’s her motivating force in that direction, but that in addition to understanding her motivation, that her moving in the direction of continuously stressing is very hard with her body, and it creates tremendous difficulties, and that the body creates manifestations because of stress.
Now; she already knows this, because of her interaction with her body with cancer.
JASON: Right. But now she’s got arthritis manifestation.
ELIAS: That, that also, all of these physical manifestations can definitely be traced back to stress and anxiety and pressure. And in that, I would say that perhaps don’t express extensively in that direction (inaudible), but I would say that how you could very much be supportive and encouraging would be to encourage her in directions that will occupy her. If she is busier, she will have less time to be fretting over them. And what would be tremendous to busy herself would be in a direction that’s also healthy for her body, which then I would suggest yoga or tai chi.
JASON: I was also thinking about including her in a hike with my son. She won’t do the mountain biking.
ELIAS: Ah. Excellent. Excellent. Yes.
JASON: Yoga and tai chi. Okay. I think those are great suggestions. She loves to do classes.
ELIAS: That, that would be tremendous. And in that – and she could actually do both, if she was so choosing, but I would say that in that, it would be tremendously beneficial for her physically, mentally, emotionally, and it would be occupying and she would likely have much less time to be engaged in worrying about what your children are doing. And it would also be an excellent avenue to prepare her for when they are not in your home any longer, which is rapidly approaching.
JASON: I know. (Laughs)
ELIAS: In that, I would say that if she’s beginning a habit and a routine now of occupying herself and paying attention to herself, and these types of activities are excellent because they encourage further action. It’s not something that you have a limitation on, and they encourage paying attention to yourself and being present, because there is also a spirituality attached with both of them. And in that, I would say that it would definitely be something that she could create a routine with, that will prepare her for that time framework when they are not in your home any longer.
JASON: Okay. Two last questions, because we’re getting near the time here so I want to be cognizant of that. But so a little quickly on this one, is first is that I have been exercising, very regular basis, up until about a month ago, maybe a month and a half ago. (Laughs) And my motivation completely just went away. And I get a sense of that is, part of that is less related to, or it’s related to me being less focused on changing what I don’t like about it.
ELIAS: Ah.
JASON: And I’m kind of re-evaluating things. Is that fair?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes. I would agree. And in that, perhaps you also would be more disposed to exercising in a different manner.
JASON: Yeah. I am. I’m not sure exactly what that is, but (laughs) I am.
ELIAS: Perhaps both of you might move in the direction of tai chi and yoga, or some type of martial arts.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
JASON: Hm.
ELIAS: And let me express to you that women do excellently in martial arts.
JASON: I’m just… It’s not that. It’s more I’m less interested in the group activities.
ELIAS: Ah. But you don’t have to do a group activity.
JASON: True. True.
ELIAS: You can do a class once a week and then you can do the exercising yourself.
JASON: Okay. And the last question, very quickly, is we went through all my family members except for my daughter, and I believe I’m already supporting her in putting the least amount of expectations on her that I can. Every conversation I have with her I believe is more about making funny remarks in the moment, just being a friend for her and not putting expectations on her, because I sense that she’s already got way too many. Is that fair or is there something else I should be doing here?
ELIAS: I very much agree. I very much agree. And I would express that you being light-hearted with her, but also I would say acknowledge when she perceives something to be genuinely serious. I know she perceives everything to be genuinely serious. (Jason laughs) but I would say (chuckles), but I would say that there are some expressions that she perceives to be more serious than others. And in that, I would say continue to be light-hearted, but also acknowledge to her that you know that something is important to her.
JASON: Okay. Excellent.
ELIAS: Because you don’t want to be light-hearted in the manner of her perceiving you to be dismissive. Therefore, I would definitely continue to encourage you to be light-hearted, because that does actually help.
JASON: Okay. Excellent. Fantastic session, Elias. Thank you very much. This has been great.
ELIAS: You are exceptionally welcome, my friend. I am very encouraged in your direction, and this conversation has been thoroughly enjoyable.
JASON: (Chuckles) Same here, Elias. (Elias laughs) Take care, my friend.
ELIAS: I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I will be offering my energy to you completely in support and encouragement. In dear friendship, as always, and great love and affection, au revoir.
JASON: Good-bye.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 2 minutes)
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