Dietary Concerns; Finding a Complementary Partner
Topics:
“Fresh Food versus Powdered Food”
“A Projection to Other-Dimensional Realities”
“Crutches: Seeking Help Doesn’t Make You Weak”
“Relationships”
“Complements”
Wednesday, August 3, 2022 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and John (Arry)
ELIAS: Good morning!
JOHN: Good morning. (Both chuckle)
ELIAS: How shall we proceed?
JOHN: Same old, same old. I’m going to start with a question that I pretty much think I know the answer to, but I’m just curious to hear your take on it. But getting back to the food situation, one of the things I’ve been thinking about – and I was just in the grocery store yesterday, so I put it back on my list to talk to you about – but I still haven’t really figured out a consistent way to cook fresh food. And I have been thinking about… It would definitely just be easier. So these days, and I’ve done this before, but you can basically get these sort of powders that are powdered, you know, vegetables, fruits, “super foods” quote-unquote. There’s all kinds of different brands, all kinds of different blends, whether it’s more of a greens focus or more of other-colored things like red focus for berries, and things like that. So anyway, that would just be a very easy way to get that type of food into my diet more. But I guess my question is, I know that fresh food would obviously be the better choice but if it’s the choice between not eating fresh food and then also not doing anything alternatively, rather than like my multi-vitamin periodically or other things… Yeah. I guess, what would your take be on something like a green powder that I would take regularly that has, you know, powdered vegetables and greens in it? Is that even a benefit at all or is that just so processed that it wouldn’t even be worth it?
ELIAS: What I would say is at this point it is so processed that it’s not necessarily going to provide you with the nutrition that you require.
JOHN: Yeah. Well that would—
ELIAS: What I would say is I would ask you, have you considered in your time framework investing in a small outdoor grill?
JOHN: Well I have, I have my stove. I have a camping stove that I can use. That’s not the issue. Really the issue that… At this point, the issue that holds me back is not the equipment, it’s the place to do it. And this is something that I’ve been thinking about consistently. And my friends are about to have… The people that I stayed with when I first got to town, their parents who live downstairs in their house are about to travel again for two weeks, so essentially for the next two weeks I’m about to have access to their kitchen again. So basically I can go in the house whenever and cook food, so… This is just more of a longer-term thing that I need to figure out, is a place to cook regularly with the stove.
I mean, I have literally everything I would need. It’s just a matter of driving to a place and having a place where I can cook and also not draw a lot of attention to myself, I guess. And I found some places that I think would work, and I’ve also talked with my friends about… They basically have like an outdoor little covered, gazebo-type thing in their backyard with a picnic table, and I had asked them about this. And it’s kind of still in process about kind of using that little space, because I’m sharing an office with my friend for work and it’s literally right outside the door of the office. So I’m like hey, that little space right there would be a great place for me to just come cook, you know, regularly, just to have a place to cook dinner. So it’s in process. I mean, it’s all in process and I was just kind of curious in general what your take on the concept of the green powders would be. And that’s essentially what I… My own intuition was that it wouldn’t really give me much, especially for the price. I mean, they’re quite pricey, so not a good bang for the buck. But that answers my question. So—
ELIAS: I would say that it’s not, it’s not practical in relation to nutritional value.
JOHN: Okay.
ELIAS: And in that, I would say that it’s actually less nutritional than your protein shakes.
JOHN: Right.
ELIAS: And I’m not advocating those, as you well know. But at least that simply is a manner in which you can, in a quick situation, give yourself a protein, and that you can do that occasionally. It’s not something that I would suggest that you do on a regular basis, but that you could do that occasionally. This, what you’re speaking of, because this is supposedly to take the place of certain foods and in that, I would say actually it doesn’t provide you with the nutritional value as is expressed in the whole food.
JOHN: Right. Okay.
Well, switching gears (laughs), I had an interesting dream experience recently that I wanted to ask you about. And I had forgotten to write it down, and then my friend the next day brought up a weird dream that he had, which reminded me of mine. So I was able to write it down, but I’m not even sure what the question around it is. I’m just kind of… I don’t remember much about it.
But essentially, there are… I saw a movie recently that’s one of these like comic book super hero-type movies, but there’s a character called Dr. Strange and he’s the sorcerer supreme in that, in that story. But the movie (chuckles), the most recent one, was about the multiverse and so kind of the premise was he was traveling through the multiverse, you know, meeting different versions of different people and all of that sort of thing. So anyway, all I remember of this dream was I woke up and I was interacting with that character, Dr. Strange.
And it wasn’t… It did feel like it was just sort of watching it, like I was watching the movie. It felt like I was in the movie and in the experience with him, or almost like I was him. It’s kind of hard to tell. And that’s literally all I remember, is sort of the last scene where I was interacting with him and it was very intense, similar to the movie. Like I don’t remember what was happening, but something very intense.
And I woke up and I just felt very disoriented for a little while and it almost felt like I had some type of multidimensional experience in this dream, like I was projecting or… I don’t know. I’m just curious. Like was that just sort of – not that anything’s really random – but was that sort of just miscellaneous, you know, dream imagery related to other things? Or was I actually having some type of more intense, like I was projecting to bunch of alternate realities or doing something with the multiverse, (chuckles) I guess is sort of my question.
ELIAS: I would say that it wasn’t a dream. And that’s also why you have difficulty in remembering a lot of it, is because when you engage these types of experiences, it’s so far out of what you recognize, what you understand and what is part of your reality, that it doesn’t fit and it’s difficult to retain the objective recall of those types of experiences.
I would say that yes, what you were doing was engaging projecting and the projection, you might express that that would be the terminology for this type of experience, the multiverse if you will. I would say that’s simply a new word for other-dimensional realities. Which, other-dimensional realities also include parallel realities AND probable realities, because probable realities ARE other-dimensional from your own. Therefore, some of them can be similar to your own reality, especially those that parallel your reality to a degree. But then there are other realities that are very, very different from your own.
And in that, I would say that you were somewhat skipping from one to another and therefore having some experiences that wouldn’t necessarily translate into what you know or what you understand in your reality.
JOHN: Interesting. I didn’t think about this at the time, but now I’m thinking about it. Was this…? Was this at all…? Was I…? Was I sort of just doing this kind of spontaneously on my own? Or was this at all related to the teleportation group interactions?
ELIAS: No. YOU were—
JOHN: Okay.
ELIAS: — engaging this yourself.
JOHN: See, this is… This is the fun stuff that I feel like I (chuckles)…
ELIAS: I would say that you engaged in this direction out of curiosity. That part of it is a curiosity that I would say sparks from knowing that stories generally come from something that actually exists, or something similar.
JOHN: Yeah. Was that why…? I mean, was my, was my mind just kind of… because I had seen that movie fairly recently, and as I was kind of coming out of this experience, the image of Dr. Strange is something that I could sort of associate the experience with? So that’s why I saw him in particular?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
JOHN: That’s so interesting. (Laughs) All right. Well, that’s fun. (Laughs) I was going to say that—
ELIAS: I would say it IS fun. (Inaudible)
JOHN: — this is the kind of fun topics that I would like to talk about more in the future, once my life stabilizes a little more, so we’ll come back to stuff like this at some point. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Very well. And it can be fun.
JOHN: Yeah.
ELIAS: Because it can be quite adventurous, exploring.
JOHN: Definitely. All right.
Just a few more kind of little questions I’ve wanted to ask. I, with this lifestyle of living in my car, I’ve mentioned this before but I spend a lot of time in coffee shops during the day, almost every day, just to be around people and get out of my car. And it’s just really helpful for me to be around people, even if I’m not directly interacting. I just… I like that environment. And I know that, I know for myself that drinking coffee regularly to varying degrees doesn’t necessarily feel very good. And I have had times in my life where I’ve gotten into the routine of drinking a lot of coffee, and then I have to kind of wean myself off and take breaks. So I try to be very intentional about when I actually get a coffee, or you know, I mix it up with getting something like a chai or tea or something else. But I’m just kind of curious in general. Even if I did say get coffee – and even when I get coffee, it’s very watered-down coffee. It’s maybe one cup of coffee mixed with a lot of you know, oat milk or something like that. Is there any issue with me having that amount of coffee every day? Or would you… Is that the kind of thing that you’d strongly recommend I don’t do that, or is it kind of just not a big deal for my body?
ELIAS: I would say, if you’re not incorporating a significant degree of coffee or caffeine, then it’s not necessarily problematic. And tea is definitely an alternative, but in that, I would caution you that it would be a matter of having decaffeinated tea, because tea actually in many forms has more concentration than coffee.
JOHN: Interesting. Yeah. I don’t… The only tea that I would ever get out is chai, and I think chai – I actually don’t know this, but I had assumed that chai has… I know that it has caffeine, but I had assumed that it was significantly less than a cup of coffee, for example. But maybe I should research that. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: (Laughs) I would say that if you are limiting your amounts and you are being mindful to not incorporate much, that especially amounts such as one cup of coffee per day is entirely acceptable and isn’t destructive, let us say.
JOHN: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that’s how it’s felt and I haven’t had any of the negative… If I’m working one day and I don’t go to the coffee shop and I don’t have coffee, I experience no negative effects. I don’t get headaches. I don’t feel like I need it. There’s no negative impacts that I can tell, at this point. It doesn’t seem to be affecting my sleep or anything like that. So I feel like I’m in a good place with it. I kind of just wanted your validation of that.
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: Or if there was something else I should be aware of. But yeah, it feels… It feels good right now, and yeah.
ELIAS: I would say that it is simply a matter of preference in relation to this subject. You’re not incorporating enough of it to be significant in any manner, and therefore it genuinely is simply a matter of preference.
JOHN: Okay. All right.
One more. This is another kind of body logistic-type question, but I have wondered. I have never been a sunglasses person in my life, even when I lived in Tucson, which is kind of mind-boggling. But towards the end of my time in Tucson before I moved to Charlotte, I finally got a pair of really nice, polarized sunglasses and it was kind of a game-changer, especially just being outside and climbing. Like how did I not have this the entire time I lived in the desert? (Laughs) But essentially my question is, is there any downside to wearing sunglasses regularly when it’s sunny out? And I’m asking this question because there’s just... I’ve always kind of… In general, I don’t like any… I try to avoid things that I feel like I could be using as some type of crutch, so to speak. And there’s a part of me that’s wondered, well if I wear sunglasses all the time, aren’t I kind of just de-training my eyes to be able to handle more light, in a way? And maybe that’s a bad thing?
ELIAS: (Inaudible)
JOHN: But I also don’t want to damage my eyes, so I know it’s like an interesting balance, but I guess I’m just curious where that balance is. Is there any downside to wearing sunglasses regularly, for me?
ELIAS: No. No.
JOHN: Okay.
ELIAS: No. And I would say to you also that this idea of a crutch is something that I would definitely encourage you to look at and explore. Because it affects you at times, just as it has in relation to sunglasses. It affects you at times in manners that are unnecessary and it also creates a perception that you shouldn’t receive help for certain things or in certain capacities, and that that is bad, that it makes you weak. Which is actually untrue.
JOHN: Yeah. I have become more and more aware of that, and that was definitely something that I… Around the same time, actually, I started wearing a hat more regularly and it was because it was just really hot in Charlotte, and I just didn’t like the sun on my face all the time. So yeah, I started wearing a hat and sunglasses almost all the time, especially in the summer times when it was hot and I just felt more sensitive to the sun, whether it was on my skin or in my eyes. And yeah, I’m very aware of what you’re saying and I have spent more time considering that in general, the concept of crutches and how I’ve viewed that in the past and I definitely am aware now how limiting that can be and detrimental at times. So yeah.
ELIAS: Excellent.
JOHN: That’s basically what I expected you to say, but I was just curious to (Elias laughs)… to validate that. But yeah, it’s great. The sunglasses are great. I literally am like, how did I go so long without wearing sunglasses? And it really was me just being stubborn, like I don’t want a crutch. Like I don’t want to have to wear sunglasses, so I’m just not going to use sunglasses (laughs) which is kind of silly at this point, but that’s what it was. But I have (inaudible)—
ELIAS: I, and I would also say to you that this is an interesting concept that many people express in that direction. That if you have a crutch or the word “crutch” and the association with it is that if you move in that direction, that it will be something that you are dependent on and that you won’t be able to function in certain capacities without it. When in actuality, if you think about realistically what crutches are, they are an invention to aid individuals in certain capacities. Generally speaking, for individuals in a temporary situation, if they have an injury, and for some individuals they were invented to give them mobility and freedom. Therefore the negative association with them is actually opposite to what crutches actually are.
JOHN: Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. (Laughs)
One more, one more question, hopefully a quick question, but this could be… This is part of a bigger question that at some point I want to talk to you more about, but I’m just going to ask this one yes or no question and then we can move on, but I am curious. Is Austin, the essence that I’ve been engaging for a while now, is she an observing essence of me?
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: Okay. (Laughs) We’ll come back to that at some point in the future.
ELIAS: Very well.
JOHN: (Laughs) All right. That’s all my little questions for now.
I am interested in exploring more of the relationships topic. And yesterday I went back and re-listened to our last two conversations since I’ve been in Oregon and the stuff we talked about last time in relation to relationship. I didn’t write any questions specifically for this conversation, so I’m just kind of going to wing it.
ELIAS: Very well.
JOHN: But I guess there is kind of two interesting things since our last conversation. So one, I mentioned last time my friend Brittany who I’ve been interacting with, who’s still in Charlotte and you did say that in some ways she is also more of a complement to me than other people that I’ve been with. And I guess interestingly I would say at this point that (laughs) it seems kind of… I’m just allowing it to kind of happen. Well, nothing’s really happening. I’m allowing myself to feel this more and to think about it more, but I would say that my sense of attraction to her, as we talked about before, has just kind of grown. And because we’re interacting every day, I just am finding it really interesting. And it’s not something that I’m wanting to act on in any way, because just logistically it just doesn’t necessarily make sense for a lot of reasons, but I’m using it as an example like you suggested of noticing attractions, noticing this energy and considering it. And I guess one question that I have that I’m curious, it seems pretty clear to me that she is also feeling that. And I guess I’m curious for some sense of validation around that, as one piece.
ELIAS: I would agree.
JOHN: Yeah. And… Hm. (Pause) I would say… I’ve been trying to just kind of listen to my intuition, and also just common sense and what I know about her. So using her as an example, one of the things that has become very clear – and this was also kind of clear when I was in Charlotte where we interacted, we interacted, you know, regularly at the gym in person. So one piece that feels like the very clear part is sexuality. And I feel like her and I have a sexual, energetic chemistry, I would say, that is definitely in line with what I want moving forward and is in line with something that I feel like for the most part I have not had in most of my relationships. And maybe that’s due to—
ELIAS: (Inaudible)
JOHN: — the person at the time or maybe it’s also where I’m at in my life, but I would just… I’m curious for a validation of is that piece one of the pieces—
ELIAS: Now; I would, I would ask you define that. What do you mean?
JOHN: (Laughs) Well, okay, clearly one thing is we have the same type of sense of humor about it. And so one thing that we’re always… We have talked a lot about sex in general and relationships. She’s shared a lot with me about her relationships. I’ve shared about mine. We’ve been very open about that. So her general openness about the topic and willingness to talk about it, her… One of the ways that I’ve thought about this over the years is, and thinking about someone that would be complementary to me, is I think that I really want and need someone who is very quote-unquote “sex positive.” And what that means to me is not that they don’t have their own issues around sex or have had, you know, negative experiences around sex necessarily, but more just that they have an overall positive approach to it and a positive perspective on it, that they like sex, they enjoy sex, they’re open to trying new things. You know, they’re… It’s not… It’s not a… It’s not something that’s like taboo to them or uncomfortable to them. Does that make sense?
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: So I would say that she definitely falls in that category for me, that she seems like very open to the topic, very comfortable with the topic, and not just talking about it but just in general, all-encompassingly. And I feel like that’s a quality that I find in people to be very, very attractive at this point. And I also feel a sense that just in an actual, physical sense, if we were to engage sexually, that we would be very compatible and very much enjoy it, and it would just be a very positive thing. So that’s one piece that I’m curious about, if I’m actually reading that correctly, because that seems like the clearest piece so far.
ELIAS: I would say yes.
JOHN: Yeah. So beyond that, there’s other pieces that I feel like maybe are not so compatible. (Laughs) But yeah, again, I’m (inaudible)—
ELIAS: Such as?
JOHN: — just right now. Yeah. So, that’s a good question. I think communication-wise, we also communicate very well, which is important to me, in that I feel comfortable. I feel comfortable talking to her about all kinds of things. You know, I’ve never really had an experience with her in person or otherwise where I felt like something was taboo or I felt like I couldn’t, I couldn’t share something. I couldn’t be vulnerable in a certain way. Like it just kind of always felt like no topic was off-limits. I could express whatever in any direction. I could be mad. I could be sad. I could be, you know, basically anything. And I felt, I’ve always felt a very consistent level of acceptance from her, which is also something that I find very attractive and I think is very complementary to what I, what I actually want. I’ve never felt judged by her. I guess maybe that’s how I would say it. And that’s important to me—
ELIAS: (Inaudible)
JOHN: — because in a lot of my relationships, I have felt a lot of judgment and criticism, and I’ve never felt that with her.
ELIAS: And what do you notice that is not complementary?
JOHN: Um… She can be very… She is definitely very opinionated and strong-willed about certain things. And that of itself, I don’t have a problem with, but I think that we don’t necessarily agree on certain things. We definitely don’t agree on certain things. But that’s something where… I don’t know. That’s the kind of situation where I think… Again, I’ve never felt judged by her or criticized for being different in certain ways or having different perspectives than her. So that’s something that I guess I’ve kind of questioned. It’s a little unclear to me. Like maybe if—
ELIAS: That doesn’t necessarily mean that—
JOHN: Right. Right.
ELIAS: (Inaudible) uncomplimentary.
JOHN: Right. Because I feel like we could, we could respectfully agree to disagree on certain things and it wouldn’t necessarily be a big deal, so…
ELIAS: Correct. And also, in addition to that, I would say that when people disagree with each other, if they, if they ARE more complementary to each other, then it gives each individual a different perspective to consider. It doesn’t necessarily mean that either of the individuals may change their perspective or their opinion, but that it does give them a different perspective to consider. And that also expands your awareness.
JOHN: Yeah. I mean, to be honest, it’s interesting, talking about this directly. And I guess that I’ve been thinking about it, but I don’t know that there is… I don’t know that there is actually tangible, specific things that I can, that I can express, of things that I would say are not complementary. I have the sense that there are some, but I just don’t quite… They’re a lot harder, I guess, to identify, or maybe there aren’t any (laughs) and maybe I… Maybe…
ELIAS: Now; in that, this is an interesting piece. And what I would say to you is, this is actually excellent that you are allowing yourself to explore and examine and observe and pay attention, and evaluate with this situation, and in a safe capacity. What I would say is, it is still something that is somewhat different than if you were physically interacting with the individual on a regular basis, because there is always going to be different elements, different factors that come into play when you are actually physically interactive, that don’t necessarily come into play when you aren’t.
JOHN: Right.
ELIAS: Therefore when you are interacting with an individual remotely – and this is not something that happens intentionally – but there will always be some pieces that are hidden from you. Not meaning only from you, but with anyone.
JOHN: Yeah, I understand.
ELIAS: Because you’re not physically interacting with them on a regular basis, you don’t see how they engage different situations or how they engage in their daily routine and their daily behaviors and how they express themselves in that capacity. But I would say that this is an excellent opportunity for you to be paying attention in relation to many different subjects and many different manners, not simply subjects but manners in which you engage and interact with another individual, and you have the opportunity to observe and evaluate and be (pause) expressing in a manner in which you can see similarities, differences, complements and also how certain pieces of behaviors or how another individual thinks or how they express themselves and the differences in that.
That with individuals that genuinely are complements to each other, the pieces that might be something that you definitely would be off put by with someone else or that you definitely don’t like might not be so important with someone that IS genuinely a complement to you. And someone that is a complement to you doesn’t mean that everything is the same. It doesn’t mean that everything you like is the same or everything that is important to you is the same. That isn’t necessarily all of what a complement is. That sometimes there are pieces of expressions or directions with people that are very different, but it doesn’t matter. That you are supportive of each other regardless.
Just as you expressed that you might not necessarily agree with this individual all the time, but you never feel judged. And therefore it’s hard for you to actually see what isn’t necessarily a complement. That’s because when you do have a complementary relationship with someone, the parts of the other individual’s behavior or direction or expression that you wouldn’t necessarily agree with or that are not necessarily the same as you, it doesn’t matter. They aren’t significant enough to be disruptive to you or bothersome to you. Whereas with someone else, they could express in the same manner and it would be bothersome to you, or it would be disruptive to you.
Therefore, this is all actually excellent, that you have this opportunity to be engaging with this relationship with this individual and to be observing not only the other individual but yourself, and how you respond and what is important to you and what isn’t important to you. And you are able to observe with yourself how there might be expressions that with someone else would be bothersome or would be important, and with this individual they’re not.
JOHN: Yeah. So, I guess… I mean, with this whole defining a complement thing, which is still a little, a little nebulous to me (laughs), would you say in as much as you can in sort of just a yes or no way, would this individual be an example of a complement to me as a partner? And I’m not asking that because I’m going to pursue that necessarily—
ELIAS: I know.
JOHN: I’m just curious. I just want to know, like what is an example of that.
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: The more examples that I have the better, the better I can identify that with. So you’d say yes.
ELIAS: I— and I would say yes. And—
JOHN: So she’s an example, and my friend Stephanie is an example.
ELIAS: Yes.
JOHN: Okay. Okay.
So another piece that I’ve been interested or curious about over the last month is someone that I know in the gym here in person, or I’m getting to know, is another example of someone who I’m like okay, yes, clearly I’m attracted to this person. And I’ve been, as you suggested, doing all the same things and having all the same questions and paying attention. It’s, it’s a lot… It’s different in that in this case it’s someone that I literally just met and am very much starting to get to know a little bit, and it’s, you know, in very limited capacities in the gym related to climbing. But we’ve chatted a little bit about her life and what she does for work, and etc., etc. And again, she’s not necessarily someone I’m trying to pursue at all. It’s just again trying to identify these things. I… Well, what is my question? (Laughs)
ELIAS: How much interaction have you engaged with this individual?
JOHN: Um… I mean, I see her. She’s on pretty much the same climbing schedule. I’m in the gym five plus days a week, but I actually climb usually three days a week and she’s on the same schedule for the most part. So I see her for a couple hours Monday, Wednesday, Friday usually and we’re not interacting the entire time, but over the course of the last few weeks we’ve interacted more and talked more, and you know, climbed similar things or we’ll just chitchat while we’re waiting in between climbing. So generally not that much, but it’s you know, we’re on the basis where you know, we definitely say hi to each other every time we see each other. You know, we talk about various things. It’s beyond just a random person that I see in the gym and say hi to, but it’s not quite like… I wouldn’t necessarily call her like a friend. It’s more just that kind of initial in-between stage, but I feel like we could be friends.
ELIAS: I understand. I understand and the reason that I asked is because it may be interesting for you also to be experimenting with someone in physical proximity, meaning that you would be engaging them differently than you’re accustomed to, or differently than is generally expected in relation to people interacting with each other and dating. And in that, it would be a matter of engaging the individual in a capacity that you could be evaluating in real situations whether the individual is a complement or not, based on what types of interactions you have with them.
And remember: I have expressed an encouragement to many individuals that if they are in a situation in which they want to be engaging someone and they want to be evaluating whether that individual is a complement or not, is to be engaging them in what you would identify as normal situations. Generally the ritual of dating is not a normal situation.
JOHN: Yeah. I’ve never really dated. I hate the concept of dating, so… (Both laugh)
ELIAS: And in that, it’s significantly difficult to evaluate whether you and another individual are complements to each other in those types of situations. In relation to evaluating whether individuals are in a manner of speaking suitable to each other, it’s more a matter of evaluating that in normal settings, in normal situations. Normal meaning whatever you usually do and engage. Therefore—
JOHN: Yeah. That makes sense.
ELIAS: Therefore, allowing yourself to engage the other individual in situations that you would be engaging within your normal daily routines or your daily actions. Therefore in that, if you are not an individual that—
(Connection is broken and is re-established)
ELIAS: Continuing.
JOHN: Yeah. Sorry about that.
ELIAS: In that, I would say that it would be a situation of you wouldn’t be inviting another individual to join you at a restaurant if you don’t engage restaurants on a regular basis.
JOHN: Right. Right. Yeah. I mean, I totally understand what you’re saying and I could see her being somebody that I… I mean, she’s part of this, she kind of hosts this group. She partially works with the gym and she hosts this little climbing gathering where people who work at the gym kind of help newer climbers and teach them things and just kind of climb with them to build community. And they usually go out for pizza on Monday and she’s invited me multiple times, or at least once, but… But yeah, I mean doing things like that, you know, maybe we’ll climb together on outdoor things, you know, the kind of regular things that I do. I totally understand what you’re saying, and I agree. It is a very different, a different dynamic versus, “Hello, would you like to go on a date with me to this restaurant?” and blah blah blah. And I’m just not into that at all, so (laughs) I totally hear you on that. (Elias laughs). But yeah, it’s interesting.
And this is sort of a newer thing over the last few weeks where I was like huh, okay. I mean I definitely noticed her, because again it’s that physical attraction thing where I’m always very aware of people that I’m physically attracted to, whether it’s at the gym or in life or whatever. So I notice that and she’s definitely a very attractive woman, but as we’ve interacted more and I talked to her more, I’m kind of like again, not necessarily rushing to try to pursue anything or I’m not even totally sure that I’m… that I would ever do that. Again, I’m just seeing it as an opportunity to practice these things and to try to identify these things, and she feels like another good candidate in person to do that with.
ELIAS: I very much agree. And I understand and I’m very encouraging of you. Because in that, the more you are paying attention and the more you are practicing, the more likely you will be that eventually you will place yourself in the path of someone that you will most likely generate a successful relationship with. Therefore, I am very encouraging of you in all of this.
And I’m also acknowledging of you, my friend. Because I would say that you are one of very few individuals that are actually observing and thinking about and taking into account and paying attention to yourself in relation to the subject of complements, and that you are valuing that and moving in a direction of being aware of what you are doing in relation to relationships. Which is excellent. There are far more, many individuals, that simply speak about the subject, but then don’t implement it.
JOHN: Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate the acknowledgment. Yeah, it feels really important.
And I guess, just kind of at the end here, this leads me to another question that I… that I’ve been curious about. Which maybe this is a bit of a crystal ball question, but I’m also just kind of curious in general, in terms of where I’m at, because I guess I… I’ve always felt like… Well, I’m going to phrase it this way. I have never felt very excited about the possibility, or I’ve never been into the concept of marriage specifically. But at the same time, I think I have always felt like well yeah, having like a life partner is… is something that I would like.
I just kind of, maybe because of the influence of my parents and never having seen any type of positive role model that we’ve talked about, I just could never really imagine that working. You know? It just feels like this kind of mythical thing where yeah, people stay together but that doesn’t mean they’re happy. That doesn’t mean they’re in a functional, healthy relationship. And it’s so rare that I feel like I actually witness that or even hear about that in my experience.
So I guess ultimately my question is, am I at a point in my life now where I’m ready to actually engage something like a life partner? Like I don’t really want to spend another… I don’t want to just be in another relationship for X number of years and then have to start over again. I mean, I don’t judge that at all. I think there’s a purpose to that and I don’t, you know, regret my past relationships at all. And I think… I don’t have a negative view of that in itself. But just for myself, at this point in my life, am I…? Is that the direction that I’m moving? Like am I—
ELIAS: That’s the direction that you’re moving in. And that’s why this practice and this experimentation is so important to you, because that IS the direction that you’re moving in. And that’s what I was acknowledging in you, that because of what you’re doing and how you’re moving in this direction and how much you are paying attention and evaluating and actually implementing that practice and knowing what you’re doing with it and paying attention to what constitutes a complement and what doesn’t, I am tremendously acknowledging you in that.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
ELIAS: Because as I expressed, this will be what will actually allow you to move in a direction in which you will place yourself in the path of another individual and be able to create a successful relationship that will be lasting.
JOHN: Hm. (Laughs) That’s… That’s interesting. (Laughs)
ELIAS: So I would say, genuinely a choice. Because you might move in a direction of generating this experimentation and this practice and you might actually become quite informed about it and quite self-aware in relation to yourself in regard to other people and relationships, and then you might choose not to. But in either direction, you will have what is necessary to create a lasting relationship, if you choose that.
JOHN: And I basically… I mean, I kind of asked you this last time, but I guess I’ll be more specific this time also. I mean, is there…? Is there benefit to me…? Is there a benefit to me actually, for lack of a better word, dating? Even if… You know, I don’t necessarily want this to be just a purely hypothetical thing, where in this example with this woman Liane here, I just, I know of her as a friend for some extended period of time and I gauge these things. And I’m like okay, I feel like yes, she could be a complement or no. Is there a benefit to kind of taking it a step further, I guess, and actually dating people and being open to exploring things, you know, in a romantic way with people as part of this process?
ELIAS: Most definitely. Yes.
JOHN: Okay.
ELIAS: Because that is also a part of the process.
JOHN: Right. Right. Yeah. Okay.
ELIAS: That is also a part of the exploration.
JOHN: Yeah. Okay. All right. I think that’s… that’s enough info on that for now. (Laughs) I have plenty to work with.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well. (Chuckles)
JOHN: Yeah. Yeah. Plenty to work with. I’ll leave it at that. (Laughs)
Anything else for this, this coming month, besides being as present as possible, and eating more fresh food?
ELIAS: (Laughs) Eating more fresh food, and have fun.
JOHN: Hm. Yeah. That’s… That’s a good one. (Both laugh) I am getting to the point in this transition of (inaudible) and I definitely feel more grounded and feel definitely a lot better. And I’m getting into a routine and I’m meeting new friends and kind of slowly building a community. Yeah. Generally, things are feeling a lot better and I am having more fun. So…
ELIAS: Excellent. Excellent. I would encourage you to continue in that direction.
JOHN: All right. Will do.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall be anticipating the report of how your relationships are progressing, and what you are noticing.
In tremendous love to you and in dear friendship as always, until our next meeting, au revoir.
JOHN: Bye for now.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 3 minutes)
Copyright 2022 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.