Differences Between Men and Women
Topics:
“Post-World War II Marriages”
“Differences Between Men and Women”
Sunday, August 18, 2024 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Yvonne (Zarla)
(Excerpt begins partway through session)
YVONNE: Right.
ELIAS: But I would say that many people married in relation to attraction being their only actual reason, other than what was expected. And for generations, what has been expected in relation to marriage is that once you reach adulthood, which is defined by the society, and once you reach that then you’re expected and the people themselves expect it of themself, that then they marry and build a family. And in that, they keep moving in the direction of that structure and never thinking about do they actually like this person that they married.
YVONNE: (Laughs) Yeah.
ELIAS: Let alone is there enough that they grow to love this person. And most of them, I would say, never even think about the idea of do they love this person. They simply have this expectation of themselves and the expectation that has been expressed by their parents and society, and in that that they are simply doing their duty of this is what is expected, get married, have children, raise a family, and stay married and then you die. (Laughs) Which is not necessarily a happy life.
YVONNE: Yeah.
ELIAS: And I would say that especially during and post-World War II, this was a piece that was, in a manner of speaking, stabilizing.
YVONNE: I see that societal structure and just to move in those directions of getting married, having a family and then staying in a relationship and everything helped to stabilize all of the trauma that happened in World War II.
ELIAS: Correct. Correct. That I would say that there were likely rare exceptions that returned from the war unscathed, without any trauma. That would be such a rare expression and experience that I would say that the individual, if they possibly had that experience and returned from the war without any trauma, they must have been in some place which is difficult to even fathom, that was not touched by the war.
YVONNE: Oh, I see. Yeah.
ELIAS: Which it was not dubbed a world war for no reason. (Chuckles)
YVONNE: Right.
ELIAS: In that, it wasn’t about not having trauma. It was about varying degrees of it.
YVONNE: I see. Yeah.
ELIAS: Coming home from that, I would say that the people, the men and women that returned home alive, needed that stability, needed that comfort of the family unit. They didn’t know what to do with it, but they hung onto it because it was the only thing that they could genuinely look at and see as being something to hold onto and something that could be stabilizing. And however difficult it may have been in relation to the relationship between the individuals, it was definitely better than the war. And in that, I would say that most individuals – not all, but most individuals – settled for that idea that anything was better than the hell that they lived through in the war.
YVONNE: I see.
ELIAS: And therefore they were very willing to continue to engage in that environment and that scenario of marriage and family.
YVONNE: So I have been also thinking kind of on the broad level about gender and differences, especially now that I realized that I’m non-binary or like the third gender, and I’m curious. If we’re just talking about men or women, that and not the third gender, what are the actual differences between men and women, versus what are some things that we have learned. Like for example, I would say one obvious difference is well, men are muscularly physically stronger than women. But then a learned difference would be that women are more emotional than men, which is not true. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Correct.
YVONNE: So I’m curious. Aside from that physical strength, what are the actual differences between men and women – and the two of those, not the third gender?
ELIAS: NOT the third gender?
YVONNE: Yes. I’ll have a follow-up question about that in a moment, but yes, between just men and women.
ELIAS: And women.
YVONNE: Yeah.
ELIAS: What are the differences between men and women? I would say first, generally speaking although it’s not a rule, women are smaller in stature than men.
YVONNE: Right.
ELIAS: Although that is somewhat moving in a direction through time, through centuries, that is closing a gap, so to speak, or that the physical stature of men and women are closer and continue to move in that direction of being closer and closer. Women are becoming taller. Men are not becoming taller. And therefore the difference in stature is changing. But that’s one difference.
As to “men are more muscular than women,” that’s definitely not true.
YVONNE: Oh!
ELIAS: It’s a matter of how an individual, men or women, exercise.
YVONNE: Interesting. Okay.
ELIAS: That women have just as much musculature as men. They’re simply not encouraged to develop, whereas men are.
YVONNE: Interesting.
ELIAS: Although that’s changing also.
YVONNE: Yeah, like Simone Biles for example.
ELIAS: Yes.
Now; there IS something that IS different with men and women in relation to physical attributes. Women have more upper body strength and men have more lower body strength, although that can be developed in each. But left undeveloped, women do have a tendency to incorporate naturally more upper body strength. That also is associated with childbearing.
YVONNE: Oh, to have more of the lower body strength, yeah.
ELIAS: No. That they have more upper body strength.
YVONNE: Oh, okay.
ELIAS: They have more strength in their torso and their shoulders, which is associated with childbearing because they are the ones that generally are caring for the children, the infants, and carrying them.
YVONNE: Yeah. That makes sense.
ELIAS: I would say also that that is obviously a physical difference, that women bear children and men do not.
YVONNE: Right.
ELIAS: As to emotional expression, that is definitely incorrect. (Yvonne laughs) And I would say that other than your country, in which your society discourages emotional expression in men, most other countries don’t. Other than, other than the far east but they don’t encourage emotional expression in either gender. But I would say that if you were engaging with people from other countries, you (chuckles) would notice that the men in other countries are much more emotional. And in many of those countries, it’s the opposite of yours. The women are generally less emotional. (Chuckles)
YVONNE: Interesting.
ELIAS: Therefore that’s definitely not a difference. I would say as to intellect, that once again is not a considerable difference, AND in relation to intellect, it is not true that male individuals are more mathematical than female. Female individuals are just as mathematically oriented as males. They simply display it in different manners, because it’s not something that has been encouraged in females.
I would say that there’s not actually much difference, other than the physical genders.
YVONNE: Wow. So even like… So would you say then how even, like take mathematics for example, how people of either men or women would arrive at the answer, the differences in how that information would be processed would be more related to that specific individual and their own internal mechanism, rather than anything to do with gender or brain differences? Based on gender?
ELIAS: It has nothing to do with brain processes, other than how the individual has been taught.
YVONNE: I see.
ELIAS: Or how they have taught themselves. And in that, it’s not necessarily a matter of equations. Male or female, the brain is basically the same. And in that, the brain develops in relation to what it’s exposed to.
YVONNE: And so that’s when all of the messages and what we’re taught about gender, that’s where it becomes very affecting?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
Now; I would say that if you were entertaining the idea of mathematics or physics or science, any of those subjects, female individuals are equally adept at those subjects as males. If you are looking at anything mechanical, female individuals are equally adept as male individuals. In relation to how that is applied, it’s a matter of female individuals apply mathematics and mechanics in relation to things that they do in the home and in that, creativity also. Any type of artistry requires different degrees of mathematics. That individuals will develop their own language in relation to that, if they’re not taught.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
YVONNE: I see.
ELIAS: But they do it anyway.
YVONNE: Yeah.
ELIAS: If they’re taught, there’s the same, no limit to either gender in relation to what they can accomplish in those directions. There’s not a tremendous amount of difference between male and female individuals.
YVONNE: So even with regard to raising children and like once a child is born, obviously women would be feeding the baby if they’re breastfeeding, but it’s like in terms of raising children, what are the actual differences? I would say people say, “Oh, women are more nurturing than men,” but that would also not be true necessarily.
ELIAS: No, it would not be true. It’s a matter of how they’re raised. Automatically at birth they’re beginning to be raised differently. At birth, what do people do with the nursery? They create the boy’s nursery to be blue and the girl’s to be pink. And what do they put in them? They put dolls in the female and they put balls and trucks and animals such as dinosaurs in the male. They might put animals in the female also, but they will be soft and they will be furry, with cute faces. In that, even as an infant they’re already being programmed differently. And as soon as they can hold something and actually focus on something, the parents are going to give them very different things to focus on.
That is somewhat changing, somewhat changing. But still I would say for the most part, it is being expressed in that difference and in that, they are continuing to create that divide.
YVONNE: Mm. Yeah. Instead of putting all the toys into the room for either gender and allowing the child to choose if they want the fluffy doll or the ball or the dinosaur—
ELIAS: Correct.
YVONNE: Which would be their individual preferences, regardless of gender.
ELIAS: Correct.
YVONNE: Wow. This is—
ELIAS: But the parents have their own fears and phobias, and therefore they continue to move in directions of thinking that they can mold the child in a certain direction. The child will be molded in some capacities, but there are some that are the individual’s.
YVONNE: Interesting. Well, so this in a way is part of the shift as well, I think. It seems like of learning to allow children to… help to develop them in ways that is natural for them and noticing their own individual preferences and talents, and learning to support them in that without pigeon-holing them into an idea of what they should be doing as a male or female.
ELIAS: I agree.
YVONNE: Wow.
ELIAS: Unfortunately, the majority of people do not.
YVONNE: Mm-hm. Yeah. It would be something that many people would consider to be destabilizing.
ELIAS: Yes.
YVONNE: Yeah.
ELIAS: And that’s still an important factor.
YVONNE: Yes. Well, this has been a very fascinating conversation, Elias.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my dear. And I shall be tremendously looking forward to our next meeting.
YVONNE: Thank you.
ELIAS: In tremendous love and great affection and appreciation to you, as a dear friend (chuckles).
YVONNE: Oh, thank you.
ELIAS: Until our next meeting, in great love, au revoir.
YVONNE: Au revoir.
(Excerpt ends after 29 minutes)
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