In Conflict, Focus Your Attention Upon Self
Topics:
“In Conflict, Focus Your Attention Upon Self”
“Evaluate Genuinely What Motivates Defense”
“Imagination Is Quite Real”
Friday, 28 September, 2007 (Private/Phone)
Participants, Mary/Michael and Nardine
NARDINE: ...I’m delighted and excited and feel very blessed to be having this conversation with you objectively. (Elias grins) And my first question would be, when I speak with you in my imaginings, in my mind, am I truly speaking with you?
ELIAS: Yes!
NARDINE: I felt so. Okay, now what I would like to start with is some of the fundamental essence data that we all like to become aware of, so if I may I’ll go through for myself first. My perception of my essence family and alignment would be Tumold and Vold?
ELIAS: Correct.
NARDINE: ... and my orientation intermediate and my focus type religious?
ELIAS: Correct.
NARDINE: Very good. And my husband. I see family being Sumari and alignment Ilda? (Elias: Correct) Orientation common and focus type political?
ELIAS: Correct.
NARDINE: Wonderful. And if I may inquire also now, the focuses that I have in this dimension, the number of focuses I have in this dimension.
ELIAS: Numbering one thousand two hundred seventy.
NARDINE: Magical. And may I ask Elias, how many of those might I be sharing with you?
ELIAS: Sixty-eight.
NARDINE: And how many would I share with my husband Peter?
ELIAS: Three hundred fourteen.
NARDINE: And I’ll just run through some more if I may… my mother?
ELIAS: Shared focuses?
NARDINE: Yes, thank you.
ELIAS: One hundred eighty-eight.
NARDINE: And shared focuses with my father?
ELIAS: Two hundred and four.
NARDINE: And my twin sister Vicki?
ELIAS: Three hundred and sixty-nine.
NARDINE: And with my brother Paul?
ELIAS: Four hundred and twelve.
NARDINE: And may I ask you, do I have future focuses in this dimension yet to be experienced in our timeframe with my husband?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: May I ask what number?
ELIAS: Forty-one.
NARDINE: This is magical information, Elias. I just want to pause a moment and acknowledge that speaking with you, becoming aware of this information, enhances my knowingness, my comfort, my beliefs, my joy, and I feel so blessed to be accessing this objectively through yourself. So many times I feel as though I have an inner knowingness, but we don’t give our imagination the reality that it clearly has. And that just is wonderful, thank you. So, if I may continue with the number of shared focuses I have with my half sister Lana?
ELIAS: Three hundred and ten.
NARDINE: Thank you. There are more people, but I’ll pause on that and continue on for a moment. In reviewing, in thinking about what I wanted to chat with you about, and discuss with you, I’ve been, through awareness, focusing on what I perceive my intent to have been, or to be, within this life, within this focus. And my whole life, to my perception, all seems to be focused around love: love of self, love of others, love within relationships, the whole experiential process of love. Would you perceive that to be a valid assessment of my intent within this focus?
ELIAS: Yes. I would agree.
NARDINE: Thank you. And I have found myself, through my life intent, through everything I do, all seeming to be around expressions of love. Whether it’s receiving and giving or allowing and denying or expressing and accepting, all of it seems to come back to a core of conflict resolution for myself. Because I feel as though love relationships, because of the life we’ve chosen, and we choose to have experiential lives, for myself, most of my relationships have involved conflict (chuckles) that I have sought to have resolution to. But a lot of my resolution processing is within my marriage, within my partnership with my husband. When it comes to conflict resolution within my family, my mother, father, sister, or in the work place, I do not have the same comfort, I don’t have the same skill, I don’t have the same ability to see the forest for the trees. I’m wondering specifically at this moment in time, with my mother, father and sister, I’m experiencing, our relationship is experiencing estrangement. Now, I’ve contributed to that, we’ve all contribute to that. And I, personally, consider that this is a life-lesson for all of us within this process. But I want to understand how I can assist myself and my mother, father and sister, in healing, learning, growing, loving, something that brings us from an estranged place of being to a loving space of being. Can you assist me with that?
ELIAS: And what is your assessment of what created the situation?
NARDINE: In the moment or within our lifetime?
ELIAS: Perhaps both.
NARDINE: Okay. Within our lifetime, I perceive, and I recognize it’s only my perception within the family, but I perceive that my parents were wounded children, who chose their lives, etc., etc., became parents, doing the best they knew how, rearing children, had a daughter who went out and had sex, and didn’t know how to address that, and it created a catalytic situation in our family, which then manifested patterns and processes of dysfunction. So that the wounds were not opened, there was no healing, there was no conflict resolution, patterns of suppression of identity and joy and love were maintained. And I feel as though I’ve lived decades of processing myself to come to a space where I just seek to love all the time, I seek... I’ve been thirty years with my husband and within our marriage our patterns and processes are based around learning, loving and conflict resolution.
Within my patterns with my family, I don’t have that kind of processing; all four of us are different individuals. This recent estrangement, which is now ten months in the process, was a product of my father assessing that I was not conveying and showing sufficient love to my mother at a time when she was going through physical health maladies. And he wrote to me expressing his disappointment in me, and his expected disappointment in me, and I responded to that – I recognize now – defensively. ‘Cause I’ve had lifetime patterns of seeking approval and acceptance from my father, and so I didn´t respond – I don’t know how I could have better responded - but I responded in the best way I knew how and it has set up a reactionary process. So now, everybody is reacting and little creative love happening. And I’m sure from your perspective you can view what I’ve explained to you, and I’m trusting offer me insight as to how this can be moved forward, towards healing.
ELIAS: Very well. As you are aware, in any situation in which there are several individuals involved, it is a matter of focusing your attention upon you first, for you cannot heal a situation with other individuals if you are not beginning the process by healing you, for you are involved in the situation. Now in this, the manner in which you begin is to evaluate what you do and what motivates your defensiveness. In that, be specific, for it is not productive for you to generate the assessment of what motivates your own defensiveness in merely expressing that this is a lifetime pattern. (Nardine says: Right) It is necessary to genuinely evaluate what you are generating within yourself, and to evaluate, why is that important. That is the significant element. For as you are aware, when you are defensive, that generates an opposing energy, and therefore you will match that in reflection with the other individuals in whatever capacity they choose to express it. It may be an opposing energy of being a victim or it may be frustration or it may be anger or it may be dismissal, but the other individuals will reflect some type of opposing energy in response to the opposing energy that you are generating.
Now; understand also, whatever situation is created in your reality, your energy initiates it, for as you are aware; I have expressed an analogy of your energy being likened to a bubble that surrounds you. (Nardine says: Yes) That bubble is continuously pulsating and projecting energy outward and the source of that energy is you, within the bubble. And in that, that bubble seeks to attract whatever matches it. Therefore this becomes a confusing element for many individuals, for they automatically move in an association that another individual began the conflict, that another individual was the first to initiate the conflict or the expression of it. And in that, individuals become confused and defensive, for they perceive them self as not engaging any action to warrant that, which was reflected.
But in actuality, this is the key (Nardine says: I drew it) it is the energy that is attracting these types of situations and these types of interactions, and that begins with you, and how you perceive yourself, and how you discount yourself, and how you generate a defense energy in relation to your own discounting of yourself. And the manner in which you can stop that is by genuinely specifically evaluating what motivates your own defensiveness, and once you can identify what creates that defensiveness, you can actually evaluate: “Is this actually important?” It has been important obviously, or you would not have been expressing it. But, many, many, many times individuals will continue to express a particular type of energy and draw to them situations and encounters that they do not like and that they do not want, and not understand why that is occurring, for they are not aware of what they are generating importance with AND whether that is even valid or not, for it becomes so familiar and so automatic that it is not seen. Many times...
NARDINE: Okay... well to reflect on this last ten months then, and to recognized how I attracted what I attracted, and to recognize the energy that I had been emitting up until the unfolding of this process, and the necessary time of reflection, and recognizing that – as pointed out by you - it was a pattern of defensiveness, it was a pattern of seeking outside approval, it was a pattern of automatically invalidating certain aspects about myself in conflict to my inner knowing of the value of myself in my lifetime relationship patterns with my communications with my mom and dad, and in part my sister. In this process of this year, I have recognized I no longer need, or seek, or place value on gaining acceptance or approval from my parents, or, for that matter, from anyone else. I recognize that all value, approval and acceptance comes from within me, and I’m the one who draws it to me by giving it to myself. So I now am in a different place within my heart, within my ease of being, and yet the pattern of communication with my parents has come to a stalemate.
So yes, I recognize I no longer place value upon the energies and purposes of the processes of my past, I want to, or I have, let them go. But my relationship with my parents is such that those patterns have not been replaced with something new, and I don’t know how, in this moment, to replace them, or what to replace them with or how to approach them in a way that builds new ways. Or is it a case of what I have brought to my family is purposeful for all of us, and it’s not my creation alone - Dad has brought his, mom has brought hers, Vicki has brought hers – we are each co-creating, yes I’m accountable for my contribution and my process and my learning, but where is our united accountability, or response-ability to what we’ve created together? How can I work with that?
ELIAS: Very well. First of all, you are not co-creating, but you are participating with each other. And in that, yes, each individual is participating for their own reasons, and they are creating their own situations or opportunities to offer themselves information. Whether they understand that, or engage those opportunities, or not, are their choices. But, in association with yourself, what is important for you is to be acknowledging of yourself; to be weary of becoming defensive, and the key in this type of situation in which there is conflict and in which perhaps, in your perception, there is no meeting of the minds, so to speak, it is important to genuinely acknowledge the differences, and in that, not to discount the other individuals, or the validity of their perception, even though it be different from your own.
And in that, it is important for you to genuinely understand what your perception of yourself is, and hold to that. Know that that is valid and is right for you, but also recognize that the other individuals may incorporate a different perception of you. In actuality all individuals will incorporate somewhat of a different perception of you than you do of yourself. But it matters not, for that does not invalidate your perception, or the validity of it. Therefore, it is a matter of recognizing that, regardless of what the other individuals’ perceptions are, it does not discount you or invalidate you, and therefore, it is not necessary to be threatened by the other individuals’ perceptions. And it is also not necessary to change the other individuals’ perceptions. When you can move in a direction of genuinely being comfortable and satisfied and acknowledging of yourself, you can also begin to move in the direction of acknowledging and accepting differences in other individuals and not being threatened by that, and recognizing that their perception is equally as valid as yours, for them; that does not mean that it is absolute, it does not mean that it is necessarily true or correct, but it is correct for them...
NARDINE: Yes.
ELIAS: ... and in that when you recognize that their perception is valid for them, but it is not necessarily true, and that your perception of yourself is equally valid, their perception cannot threaten you any longer, for you can rest in the knowing of yourself.
Now, in this also, when you are not threatened by another individual - when you are not threatened by their perception of you or of any expression in general, it matters not - when you are genuinely comfortable with yourself and not threatened, you can actually be acknowledging of the other individual and the validity of their perception, whether you agree with it or not. And when you are acknowledging of another individual and their perception, it defuses the energy.
As a hypothetical example: an individual can be ranting and raving and can be expressing considerable distress and frustration and upset, and may even be raising their voice in an irritated manner, and if the individual that they are confronting remains calm, does not react, is not defensive, holds to their own direction, but also acknowledges the other individual, which is not to say that the confronted individual may necessarily agree; they may be responding in a manner of recognition of the other individual’s distress or anger or frustration or what have you. But not necessarily expressing in response in a manner that conveys agreement.
In that, the energy becomes defused, for the other individual that is ranting and distressed and raising their voice in conflict or anger, is also expressing some type of defense. For they are attempting to convince the other individual that they are right. But if the other individual is expressing an energy that it matters not, whether they are right or not, the individual that is distressed receives that energy and what occurs is they do not receive their pay-off. Their pay-off is reaction. If there is no reaction, there is no energy to feed what they are expressing, and therefore it dissipates. I’m understanding that this is more easily said than done - especially in familiar encounters, with individuals that are very familiar and that have established patterns, it can be challenging to not move into those automatic responses and automatic defenses. But it can be done. And I will express, in recognition of your energy, you quite definitely can accomplish this.
And I will express to you, my friend, as you are interacting with other individuals it may not alter immediately, but it will, eventually, and, in much less time framework than you may think. For if you are generating a consistent energy of acknowledgement, of acceptance of the differences without agreeing, and maintaining your own direction and your own acknowledgement of yourself, and your own perception of yourself, that will create a consistency in your energy of not matching energy with the other individuals, which will allow their energy to dissipate also. For, when individuals become angry or judgmental, the association that they are generating inwardly is that another individual has expressed or engaged, in some wrong manner. And therefore, in expressing in some wrong manner, the other individual has caused the first individual to be hurt, or to be distressed.
Now; that is not, in actuality, what occurs, for other individuals do not hurt you or distress you; you respond to differences and you may feel hurt or distressed, but that is in association with your own guidelines and not accepting the differences of another individuals’ guidelines. And in that, the other individuals in your family most likely are not aware of this, but that matters not. What you do and what you affect is not dependent upon what another individual is aware of. For, when you change your energy that ripples out, and it affects the energy of other individuals. And the reason it affects the energy of the other individuals is precisely associated with that bubble. That bubble attracts...
NARDINE: I’ve got to remember this bubble. I have to keep this bubble uppermost... (Chuckles)
ELIAS: ... that bubble attracts precisely what matches it. Therefore, if the energy being expressed in your bubble is acceptance of difference, and acknowledgement of difference, it will not attract a match of conflict...
NARDINE: Yes, yes.
ELIAS: ... therefore it does change the energy of the other individuals.
NARDINE: Acknowledged. I hear exactly what you’re saying. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
NARDINE: Hmm, okay, let me go along another track now. May I inquire whether you, myself, and my brother Paul, have shared focuses?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And whether I, and Seth, and Jane and Rob Butts, have shared focuses?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And do I share a focus with Shirley MacLaine?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And Louise Hay?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And in another focus, in another space with Pete, are Pete and I parents, ‘cause we’re not parents in this focus?
ELIAS? In many.
NARDINE: (Chuckling) I was just going to say, in three hundred and fourteen, I venture there’s one or two in there where we’ve got kids. (Elias laughs) That’s delightful to know.
I find on occasion, ‘cause I’m a person who sits and imagines, and lets my mind take me where it does, and I have what I interpret as visions, or imaginings, or my interpretations of consciousness, and the connections of the energetic field of consciousness, and at times I sense that I can feel this “holy” within my essence. Are these imaginings true?
ELIAS: Yes. Quite so!
NARDINE: Wonderful. And when I say, which I do many times, ‘cause I read Seth years back and I loved the analogy that Seth had of our focuses being like lights on a Christmas tree, and they’re all simultaneous, and so for many years when I meet people, or when I feel an energetic connection to a person, I will say to myself, “I believe I share spaces in time with this person?” From your perspective, most often when I say that, am I intuiting correctly?
ELIAS. Yes, you are.
NARDINE: In fact, this affirms to me so much of my insightful awareness. That we discount our imaginings. It just amazes me to be involved in this Shift - which obviously I’ve chosen, as all of us have - and it’s such a glorious adventure, and I feel so blessed to be here at this time on the planet.
ELIAS: Ha ha.
NARDINE: In my dreams – I don’t work with dreams as a tool, I have recall sporadically, but I don’t work with them as a tool for insight. Does it matter that I don’t work with them in that way?
ELIAS: No, no. it is not important. Individuals generate different methods of how they will generate connections or information, and some individuals choose to be engaging dreams quite effectively, other individuals do not. Just as some individuals choose to be investigating many, many, many other focuses of themselves, for this is a manner in which they can become familiar with trusting their impressions and offering themselves information. Other individuals incorporate little or no interest in other focuses. It is all very individual and what is comfortable for you, and what allows you to accomplish the most effectively.
NARDINE: Hmm. Wonderful. With regards to dream imagery, just going back on a couple from years back that have always stood out in my memory, I’ve brought them through my life with me. One is a dream of an ancient tree, a big, glorious, ancient tree that felt to me that it had rooms and wisdom, and I felt like I visited this tree. Is that a real space?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes, it is. And that would be a dream associated with another focus.
NARDINE: Right. And one other... in one sense a distressing dream that I used to have reoccurring, but at the same time recognizing of its purpose for learning, was a dream where I would be pulling yards and yards of fishing line out of my throat, and I would wake up gasping and chocking, repeatedly I had this dream, yards of fishing line coming out of my throat. Was that simply an image that I had of suppressing expression, or was there something more significant within that image?
ELIAS: I would express that that is partially correct, and I would express to you also, that this was imagery of restricting yourself to a considerable degree.
NARDINE: Hmm. I haven’t had that dream for years and years and years and I never will again.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha!
NARDINE: Bodily imagery that I’ve been presenting to myself: one thing is my nails, for a couple of decades I’ve had imagery with my nails, now it is improving, and I believe, my impression was, that it was reflective of shame and guilt and hiding myself...
ELIAS: I would agree!
NARDINE: Right. And you also see the improvement?
ELIAS: Yes, and I will express to you that body consciousness manifestations will continue to improve and dissipate as you continue in the direction that you are. I will acknowledge you my friend that you have generated considerable movement within yourself. That is to be greatly acknowledged.
NARDINE: Thank you, thank you. If I may inquire, back in ‘96-‘97, I went through a short period of time where when I would lie down to go to bed at night my head would spin, I would have a spinning sensation in my head. I wonder whether that was reflective of the beginning of my participation within the Shift.
ELIAS: No. That was an action that was occurring in association with you beginning to engage transition. Within physical focus many individuals, especially in recent time framework, have chosen to engage transition while continuing in physical focus, for it is an action that is helpful in moving more into awareness and into acceptance. It is not the same action of transition as that which you engage subsequent to death, for that is an action of shedding beliefs. This is an action of generating more of a propellant and an ease in accepting beliefs, and acceptance in general.
NARDINE: Wonderful.
ELIAS: And individuals experience different actions in association with transition within physical focus, and at times they may experience a brief, or a temporary, physical manifestation in association with the onset of it.
NARDINE: I understand, thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
NARDINE: If I may just go back to shared focuses again in this dimension, just because I find this so fascinating and I will carry this awareness with me for the rest of my life. My nieces Amber and Erin, may I ask if I have shared focuses with them?
ELIAS: Yes, many.
NARDINE: Many... And may I ask my friend David, we have shared focuses?
ELIAS: Many.
NARDINE: Sorry.
ELIAS: Many.
NARDINE: Many. And my girlfriend Tania? We share too?
ELIAS: Quite so, also many.
NARDINE: I will listen to my inner knowing from now on; I will not question it as readily as I have done.
ELIAS: Congratulations.
NARDINE: I keep learning that the joy of Now is to be had in our imagination, and our imaginings, and the fun of just going from bliss to bliss, moment-to-moment, allowing wherever my joy takes me I don’t question as I once did. And I find Sources such as yourself, to be a glorious light unto myself and the planet, and again, I acknowledge how blessed I feel. One of the visions that I’ve had a couple of times recently has been of, in my imaginings, a crystalline angel. Is that correct in what I am seeing?
ELIAS: It is your translation but yes, it is correct.
NARDINE: Right. And when you say my translation. What am I seeing that I am translating that to? Would that be my inner light?
ELIAS: Yes!
NARDINE: Right. (Exclaiming) Beautiful person inside!
ELIAS: Ha ha! I would agree. Ha ha ha.
NARDINE: In the place where Pete and I live, in this little part on the planet where we are – Heathcote – it happens to be called “the heartland” of Victoria (Australia). I wonder whether Pete and I have had other focuses inn this location on the planet, previously.
ELIAS: Yes, you have.
NARDINE: We have. And we see lots of rainbows in our world. Are they just messages, images that I’m giving myself, or is there magic within our heartland on the planet?
ELIAS: Ha ha ha, I would express both.
NARDINE: Wonderful. And may I inquire, just for fun. And I guess once again, I like so many, having had so many focuses, when we tune in on three or four, chances are they’re going to be right, but I would suggest I’ve had lives in Ancient Egypt?
ELIAS: Yes, you do.
NARDINE: And many centuries within England?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And Scotland?
ELIAS: Correct.
NARDINE: And Japan?
ELIAS: Correct.
NARDINE: China?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And USA?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And I feel as though I had a focus either somewhere around Florence Nightingale, the nurse, Florence Nightingale?
ELIAS: (Coughs) A patient.
NARDINE. A patient, of hers?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: Magic. And am I a harmonica player, in a life somewhere?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And am I a dancer?
ELIAS: Yes.
NARDINE: And do I have an 11:11 focus?
ELIAS: (Coughs) Quite a few.
NARDINE: Quite a few. Well, we’ve got to the end of my questions and notes and we’ve filled up our time, and I’ve had such a delightful time talking with you Elias. I feel like I want to give you a big hug and say I look forward to the next space we share together.
ELIAS: Very well, and your hug in energy is received.
NARDINE: Wonderful.
ELIAS: I express tremendous appreciation to you my friend (Nardine says: Thank you) and great lovingness. (Nardine says: Thank you) Until our next meeting I shall be offering my energy to you in great encouragement.
NARDINE: Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: To you, my friend, au revoir.
NARDINE: Au revoir.
Copyright 2007 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.