Tuesday, February 15, 2000
© 2000 (Private/Phone)
Participants:  Mary (Michael) and Lynda (Ruther).
Elias arrives at 12:18 PM. (Arrival times is 30 seconds)

ELIAS:  Good morning!

LYNDA:  Hi, Elias!  “Relate and communicate” (laughing) seems to be my key phrase since we last spoke.  May I ask you a couple of essence names and family alignments?  And then I would very much like to talk to you about why I think I experienced what I experienced since the last time we spoke.

ELIAS:  You may.

LYNDA:  Thank you.  I’ve been interacting with a girl named Sharon, and I would like to ask her essence tone, family, and alignment.

ELIAS:  Essence name, Camdon; C-A-M-D-O-N. (kam’don)  Essence family, Tumold; alignment, Sumari.

LYNDA:  Oh, great!  Thank you very much.  Can I ask you my sister Susie’s same information? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Ainsly; A-I-N-S-L-Y. (ainz’ley)

LYNDA:  And her family and alignment?

ELIAS:  Essence family, Ilda; alignment, Milumet.

LYNDA:  Ah.  And my mother Mai, M-A-I? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Roarche; R-O-A-R-C-H-E. (rork)

LYNDA:  That’s interesting — Roarche.  And her family and alignment?

ELIAS:  Essence family, Sumari; alignment, Gramada.

LYNDA:  And my niece Kayla, K-A-Y-L-A? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Lynd; L-Y-N-D. (lind)

LYNDA:  And her family?

ELIAS:  Essence family, Zuli; alignment, Sumari.

LYNDA:  And Malia, M-A-L-I-A? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Mirra; M-I-R-R-A. (mee’rah)

LYNDA:  And family and alignment?

ELIAS:  Essence family, Borledim; alignment, Vold.

LYNDA:  And Dane, my nephew?  D-A-N-E. (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Laxell; L-A-X-E-L-L. (lox-sell’)

LYNDA:  And family and alignment?

ELIAS:  Essence family, Sumari; alignment, Tumold.

LYNDA:  And one last one, and that would be my brother Adam. (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Bin-yo; B-I-N-hyphen-Y-O. (bean’yoe)

LYNDA:  B as in boy?

ELIAS:  Correct.

LYNDA:  And his family and alignment?

ELIAS:  Essence family, Ilda; alignment, Sumafi.

LYNDA:  Well, thank you very much for that information.  Would it be alright with you if I just took a little more time and asked you for the orientations?  I forgot to ask you that.  Would that be alright?

ELIAS:  If you are so choosing.

LYNDA:  Thank you very much.  For Sharon?

ELIAS:  Common.

LYNDA:  For Dane?

ELIAS:  Common.

LYNDA:  For Susie?

ELIAS:  Common.

LYNDA:  For Mai?

ELIAS:  Soft.

LYNDA:  Soft — my mom is soft.  Wow.  Kayla?

ELIAS:  Common.

LYNDA:  Malia?

ELIAS:  Common.

LYNDA:  And Adam?

ELIAS:  Intermediate.

LYNDA:  Adam is intermediate?

ELIAS:  Correct.

LYNDA:  Wow.  I really appreciate that.  Thanks.

I wrote you a letter last night, and actually writing the letter helped me through a pretty intense emotional reaction I’ve had since the last time we talked, and it brought the point home to me of this step two that I’m in.  I have had a lot of interaction on the elias-list, more so than ever, and I initially felt — and I do still feel this way, although I don’t know if I can explain it or if it’s the exact way of explaining it — but a block seems to have been removed, in my perception, of interacting with different ones in the forum.

I started to interact, and this girl Sharon started to interact with a really fun flow of a creative thing on the essence families, and it sparked a lot of fun interaction, and it showed me a more real — this is a way of saying it — more real, less sort of a serious take on the information.  Actually, I discovered that there’s people just like me that are working through their individual issues in a lot of the same ways, and I feel like I’ve been able to interact more freely and say how I really feel about stuff, you know, and we’re all noticing the difference between our common or our soft orientation.  And also, my communication with Daryl has picked up again, and we’re talking about the different ways we’re handling fear, and I’ve really enjoyed that.

And then I sent a piece of my book out on the list to get feedback, and I got so paranoid, Elias, that people — THEY — were gonna think I was really off the mark, and that I was being way too harsh and not accepting.  And I really went through an intense, intense — and very usual, but even more so intense — thing of feeling isolated, and this whole fear thing that I do.  And if I can go back, the trigger or the undercurrent of me, on the one hand, reaching out and communicating a lot since we’ve talked was because of my conversation with Mary, and some actions she had taken that validated actions I had been taking, although we had handled it differently.

But what I experienced right before I talked to you last time was feeling guilty because I cut Mary short because I wanted to talk to you, and I became afraid that she would think I was only wanting to talk to her because of you.  I pulled in a lot of insecurity and this sort of core-group mentality like I had when I was in the church, and there was such a hierarchy of people who were in the know and people who weren’t.  And I always was being myself and stepping out, and I always sensed that I was correct, but I never trusted myself.  And I had the exact same experience, and so the last time you talked to me, you had to reel my scattered energy in, and I was so worried about you having to do that, that the only two things I heard you say were the profoundness of the now and the word “purity” in relationship to my connection with my future focus, Jasper.

And so the purity thing just sent me into “Lynda feeling like a slut” hell, which I identify as quite a lot of what’s going on with this wave in sexuality.  But I wanted to find the difference of what I feel, the condemnation part I go through, because I’m not a slut.  I have a very ... well, that communication I had with Jasper was very free, very intimate, very sexual, really fun, and then I translated it through my beliefs about meeting a man, and I did reach out to a couple of guys, but I saw myself do it and I let myself do it and I let it flow, and it was okay.  Nothing happened that was hurtful to me.  And I just want you to know that all that happened, and I’d like your feedback because I think I’m starting to connect with what I do and feel a little more clearly.  Okay?

ELIAS:  You are allowing yourself to move into the identification and the recognition of beliefs and issues that you hold individually that are quite influencing of your perception and of what you thusly create within your reality.

Therefore, I shall validate to you that you are allowing yourself movement in this step two, so to speak, in the process of movement into acceptance.  In this, you allow yourself to view these triggers, so to speak, that influence your perception, and thusly you move yourself into the expressions of doubt and discounting of self.

You may also allow yourself, as you move into the noticing of the now and the participation in the now, to be viewing that many of these expressions are created in response to your beliefs or what you term to be issues, and that many of these issues have been created in conjunction with viewing elements outside of self.

Therefore, in this, turning your attention and refocusing your attention upon self within those moments of affectingness may be quite useful to you as a tool, in allowing you to recognize that the intensity of the feeling and emotion that you are experiencing is a response to your attention being held outside of yourself.

Your attention is being held in the direction of other individuals or situations, and as you divert your attention in this manner and hold your attention outside of yourself, you also allow much more of an intensity of response or reaction, and this creates an intensity in emotion.

All of these actions serve as a type of circle, which perpetuates the issues and lends continued energy to the beliefs, and continues to be discounting of and invalidating of and devaluing self.

LYNDA:  Right.  Can I make a comment about Millie at this point?  Because I think it ties into what you’re saying.

ELIAS:  You may.

LYNDA:  I know that you know that I’ve been experiencing a lot of different things in my interaction with Millie, and I was struck by one incident we went through where she didn’t want to be put into a harness to be lifted out of bed, and she was very afraid, and I was feeling her feeling of being dehumanized, and I told the people to not have the machine there.

I wanted to expand on that a little because since that incident ... and I understand conceptually that it’s certainly a belief that she’s being dehumanized, and she’s not.  But we, at this particular moment and at this particular moment for me, are very much locked into the belief.  So it was a feeling of that she was being dehumanized, and neither of us like it.

But what I’m trying to say is, as a result of that interaction and me really wanting to stay in my now with her, there’s almost more of an understanding between us, and more of an acceptance on my part.  I feel that these are her choices, and I don’t understand all of them, and I have enough to do with trying to figure out my own choices.  But I do feel that there’s been more of an intimacy created, not only with her, but more so even with the other two in the house.  Is that correct?

ELIAS:  Yes.  Now; this may serve as an example to you that in some situations that you participate within, you may allow yourself to view the similarities of beliefs, and temporarily this may facilitate your movement in turning your attention to self, for temporarily you view objectively a commonality between yourself and another individual.

Therefore, as you are automatically focusing your attention upon the other individual — for this is an automatic action — you also begin the recognition that you hold similar beliefs, and are experiencing, in that now, similar responses as the other individual.

This, in a manner of speaking, allows you to open a door to be turning your attention to self and recognizing your responses, and allowing you to identify why you are creating those responses and what you are creating within that moment.

For be understanding, within physical focus, it is an automatic action to be focusing outside of self.  It is an automatic action to be focusing upon other individuals or situations or circumstances or actions — it matters not.  Your attention is focused outside of self, in a manner of speaking, and it is an unfamiliar action to be turning your attention TO self and holding your attention upon self.

Therefore, in situations such as this that you have presented yourself with, you have offered yourself a type of method that shall allow you an element of ease and an opening of an avenue, that you may allow yourself to focus upon self within the experience that you are focusing upon another individual or a situation.

Are you understanding?

LYNDA:  Yeah, and I think ... obviously I’ve been doing that my whole life, only now I am beginning to not do the mirror action in such a self-condemning way, or at least the bouts with self-condemnation are diminishing in time.  Does that make sense?

ELIAS:  Yes.

LYNDA:  Which I would imagine is the natural result of this step two thing, right?

ELIAS:  In part, yes.  For I shall also express to you that as you turn your attention to self and allow yourself to begin identifying and recognizing what you are creating, and the beliefs and the issues which are influencing of what you are creating, you benefit, in a manner of speaking, in different manners.

For you allow yourself the benefit of turning your attention to self, which offers you the objective ability to be viewing more choices and offers you the opportunity of an increase in understanding of self and of your reality, and you also simultaneously — in this action of turning your attention to self — are automatically creating a byproduct of acceptance of other individuals, and this is automatically received and responded to.

LYNDA:  I knew that.  I mean, I know that!  I’ve experienced that!  I had a feeling it was automatic.  I just wasn’t quite figuring out how to get there from here, if you know what I mean! (Laughing, and Elias chuckles)  It’s true!  It’s automatic!

Oh boy — trusting myself.  That’s why I’ve had such a confusion, I think, especially in the last two weeks or whatever.  It’s trusting myself, my guide.  I’ve had such a feeling for these last five years of a ledge or a foundation that no matter what, I could trust myself.  And this last bit of time, I have allowed so much ... I guess this is what you’re saying, if I’m hearing you right — I don’t guess, I know.  I’ve gotten caught up in such a distraction of outside of me that I haven’t felt like I could trust myself.  Is that what scared me?

ELIAS:  You have incorporated much placement of energy in this particular issue of fear, which reinforces a lack of trust in self.

In this, as you continue to present different elements of scenarios and imagery to yourself, you also, in a manner of speaking, confront yourself with this element of fear, and as you view the fear, you may identify this fear in the lack of trust and acceptance of self, and this all is the participation in this action of step two, in the identification and recognition of your beliefs.

LYNDA:  So I’m doing that?

ELIAS:  Yes.

LYNDA:  That’s a very good sign to me, Elias! (Elias chuckles)  Are you laughing?  I’m telling you, it’s a very good sign to me!  Oh boy!  And that of course ties into being anxious and impatient, correct?

ELIAS:  Ah!  And we return to the subject matter of impatience ... or patience, which you continue to identify as waiting!

LYNDA:  Yeah!

ELIAS:  And it is not.

LYNDA:  What is it?

ELIAS:  It is an active participation in allowance.

LYNDA:  Active — okay, the way that immediately just translated to me was, that means when I’m spontaneous, to be spontaneous!  I’m talking about ... okay.  Hmm!

The subject of spontaneity is not one of those things that you can control, get it?  When I’m being spontaneous, I automatically feel a certain feeling, like when I’m being spontaneously creative.  There is a feel with it and I go with it, and maybe I send it out, like in the case of my book, or I write something in my book, or I take an action.  And then, after I’m spontaneous, I check myself at the door and start getting nervous.  Is that what you’re talking about?

ELIAS:  And waiting.

LYNDA:  And waiting to see what will happen after I have sent out my spontaneity.

ELIAS:  Quite.

LYNDA:  And ... wait.  And I want to talk to you about love at this point, because the experience I had with Jasper is very familiar to me.  It was my essence.  It was very ... I could have stayed there.  I wanted to ... well, I didn’t want to, or I would have.  But I felt like it was familiar.  I loved it!  I was me!  I was an aspect of me in this liberty, and I didn’t need anything!  I didn’t want anything, I didn’t need anything, and I knew everything was okay.

I know we’ve discussed this and I know you’ve told me you’re patient, and it’s a good thing that I just remembered that, because what I did with the feeling of Jasper was reach out to a man, and he connected with my spontaneity, and then I waited and expected him to come back to me a second time because I knew he connected with my spontaneity or my smartness — which was my interpretation at that moment through the sexuality wave, is what I’m trying to say and identify — and he reacted to me at first really positively, and I got really excited, and it motivated me to not want to eat and go on a diet, which is a very familiar pattern, and then he came back and he was mad at me because he interpreted something I said as being hurtful to him, and he didn’t want to have any communication with me, and I went into my regular, “Well, this is what I always do.”  But I’m telling you this now because like I said, I diminished my reaction of hurtfulness, and I just identified it, right?

ELIAS:  Partially.

LYNDA:  Okay, will you finish it?

ELIAS:  You are also allowing yourself to view how you are creating in relation to your beliefs.

Now; view your identification.  You are moving in the expression of identifying your experiences as absolutes, and therefore, they shall be creating the same outcome as you move in similar direction.  This is the belief, for you identify your experiences as absolutes.

LYNDA:  Right.  I don’t know how else to identify them.

ELIAS:  I am directing your attention to the now, and expressing to you that your experiences are not absolutes.  Your experiences are ever-changing, and are created through your perception within the moment.  Therefore, they are not locked into certain expressions.

But as you identify your experiences as absolutes, you create very similar outcomes, in a manner of speaking, in similar situations, and this is the identification of the action of shrines — the development and creation of patterns which are created in conjunction with experiences, and your beliefs concerning those experiences, and your assessment of what you are creating, and your perception of what you are creating and what you have been creating and what you shall be creating.

This is the construction of your shrines, and how you perpetuate them and continue to contribute to them and adorn them [is] by continuing to view your experiences as absolutes, and therefore creating the development of patterns, in conjunction with those experiences, with an expected outcome.

These are projections into past and future, and they are not holding your attention within the now and they are not holding your attention upon self, for your attention is directed outside of self into an event, a circumstance, a situation, an experience.

LYNDA:  That I can look forward to.

ELIAS:  Or look back to.

LYNDA:  Right, right.

ELIAS:  In this, as you do not hold your attention to self or within the now, you also perpetuate the beliefs, perpetuate the issues, perpetuate the shrines, and continue to be creating the devaluation of self in your perception, the discounting of self with regard to your perception, and you continue to reinforce yourself and your beliefs in the continuation of the creation.

LYNDA:  Right. (Sighing)  Oh Elias, we can talk about this.  This is so helpful to me ... I hope! (Laughing)  You know something ... and this goes back to the way that I am aligning with so many of the mass beliefs and the sexual wave simultaneously.  Are you understanding what I say when I say “the gee and haw principle”?  I take two steps forward, four steps back, and keep going around and around because I’m perpetuating similar patterns, is what I’m trying to say.  So I believe I’m understanding what you’re saying, and I guess my question is, part of the acceptance is allowing this, I guess, and not being so hard on myself.

ELIAS:  Correct; also the recognition of the now and of self, and the recognition that projecting yourself within your thoughts futurely or pastly is, in a manner of speaking, an illusion.  And in this, you continue in the motion of your wheel or your circle, for you are not holding your attention within the now.

In this, recognize that all that is created is within the now.  Probabilities are created in the now, in the moment.  The outcomes are now, not future.

LYNDA:  Can I give you a little example of what I think you’ve just said, and see if I got that?  Would that be alright?

ELIAS:  Yes.

LYNDA:  Okay.  I’m writing this book.  As I’m writing the book, I’m having, for the most part, a lot of fun and a lot of laughing, and I’m automatically feeling — this may be a belief or not — but I’m automatically feeling that this book is going to be a lot of fun for people to read, and I think it’s going to be a lot of fun because I actually feel, and have felt for a long time, that I’m moving in the direction of lecturing or having something creative like this book happen, and as I’m writing, I’m feeling the fun probability of this book in the moment.  What I’m hearing you say is, when I step out of the moment, I project futurely in expectation or I project back and think, shit!  I’ve never written a book before!  Am I out of my mind?  Is that kind of what you’re saying?

ELIAS:  Partially, yes.

LYNDA:  Okay.  Do you want to “un-partially” it?

ELIAS:  You may also view your expression, in your terminology and your thought process as to the action of this expression of creativity and this writing, that you identify you are ALMOST experiencing, and that there is an element of anticipation which is held in the direction of future.

What I am expressing to you is to be recognizing and holding your attention within the now, and allowing yourself to be noticing the experience of the outcome within the now.

LYNDA:  (Sighing heavily)  I don’t know how to do that.  I feel like I honestly ... are you talking about feeling the feeling of being in the now as I’m going immediately — and I want to be as specific as I can — in the now?  Take my book as an example.  When I’m writing my book, I’m automatically getting a flow of dialogue, and I’m answering myself back and forth in the moment, and for one thing, I think I’m not fully putting weight on that it’s my essence talking to me, which may be another subject.  But because of the way the book is flowing, it’s immediately in the moment validating to me.

ELIAS:  And this is an outcome.

LYNDA:  And this is an outcome?

ELIAS:  Correct.

LYNDA:  Can you just say the difference one more time and give me a little bit different example that I can wrap my intellect around?  ‘Cause I think that’s what I’m trying to do! (Laughing)

ELIAS:  You identify the word, the term of outcome, with future.

LYNDA:  Right.

ELIAS:  You continue to view that you are moving toward or working toward an outcome.

LYNDA:  Of the completion of this book selling and me being famous?

ELIAS:  Quite.

LYNDA:  Ah!

ELIAS:  Which is what you identify as an outcome.  This is a projection futurely.

LYNDA:  Okay.

ELIAS:  The outcome is the creation of a probability, and the probability is created within the now, in the moment.  There are not endless probabilities lying before you.

LYNDA:  Like my destiny or something.

ELIAS:  Probabilities are not in front of you that you are choosing from.  You are creating the probabilities in the moment.

You are not picking them, in a manner of speaking, from an array of probabilities which already exist in front of you, as a basket of apples that lies before you, and you choose one from this basket.  No!  In the moment, you are creating a basket of apples where there was no basket previously.

LYNDA:  So then we talk about choices in the moment, and choices in the moment are why I’m in this step two.  I think I’m understanding what you’re saying.  I’m not making any physical choices in the moment because I’m afraid to.

ELIAS:  You ARE creating choices in the moment!  You are all continuously creating choices....

LYNDA:  But I’m choosing not to actualize something I think I would love because I’m not sure.  Do you understand what I’m saying?

ELIAS:  Yes.  Partially, you are correct.  But....

LYNDA:  But I would love that!  I think it would be really fun!  But I’m almost getting what you’re saying, and I want to continue just for a little while longer, and then I won’t tax Mary.  But it’s the choices, viewing all my choices, and then picking a choice and taking it!  I mean, it sounds really simple, but it’s not that simple to me.

ELIAS:  But you are continuing to view futurely.

LYNDA:  Ah.

ELIAS:  The choice is now, the probability is now, and the outcome is now, not future.

LYNDA:  (Sighing heavily)  Sort of like ... okay.  It comes back to just trusting myself that I won’t betray me and I won’t sabotage me.

ELIAS:  Quite.

LYNDA:  So I can get off this hamster wheel any time I want to.

ELIAS:  You are correct.

LYNDA:  Well ... I love you. (Elias chuckles)  Thank you.

ELIAS:  Allow yourself to practice, and attempt to be turning your attention to the now and to self, and to merely offer yourself, in experimentation, the thought that your outcome is now, not future.  Regardless of how you perceive the outcome, do not concern yourself with the future outcome, for future is an illusion.

Concern yourself with the outcome that you are creating NOW, for as you continue to turn your attention and you continue to move in the direction of focusing your attention upon self and within the now, you also avail yourself objectively of many, many more of your choices, and in this action, you shall begin to view what I am expressing to you.

It matters not what you view futurely.  You hold the ability to be creating that which you aspire to or attain to futurely within the now.  But you are diverting your attention, and the very elements that you wish to be creating within your focus elude you, for you continue to not pay attention to the now, and therefore not be creating them.

LYNDA:  Is it really that simple?

ELIAS:  This is the key!

You all within physical focus in this physical dimension are so very accustomed to complicating all that you create and all that you view and all of your reality that the simplicity of creating your reality is viewed as impossible or incomprehensible.

LYNDA:  I love you, me! (Laughing, and Elias chuckles)  Okie dokie smokie.  I love that, and I will practice my now!

ELIAS:  Very well.  I shall continue to be encouraging and I shall continue to be engaging actual patience with you ... which is NOT waiting! (Chuckling)

LYNDA:  (Laughing)  Well, I think I’ll just be looking!  No wonder I haven’t seen that many blue dots lately.  Oy! (Elias chuckles)  Okay, thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.

LYNDA: I love you very much!

ELIAS:  I express to you affection, and I anticipate our next meeting.  Be encouraged, for although you may view yourself to be stepping backward, you are not.  You are accomplishing in the most beneficial manner within yourself, and I am encouraging of your continuation.  To you this day, accept encouragement and energy in lovingness.

LYNDA:  I love you.  Au revoir.

ELIAS:  Au revoir.

Elias departs at 1:12 PM.

© 2000  Vicki Pendley/Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.

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Copyright 2000 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.